How To Get Rid Of Anger To Improve Your Life
Updated June 12, 2019
Reviewer Laura Angers
Do you seem to experience anger on a regular basis? Do you struggle to get through a normal day without feeling angry about something? Even if you're only experiencing minor irritation or anger, it could be interfering in a big way with how you live. By learning how to get rid of anger you're going to set yourself up for a much better future. But first, you need to learn more about what your anger is and where it's coming from. Then you need to learn more about ways to control it.
Is Your Anger A Problem?
Anger is a completely normal occurrence for everyone. Everyone experiences anger, to some degree, at some point in their life. They feel angry at the car that cut them off on the road, or the boss who overlooked them for a promotion, or the partner that cheated on them. These are all valid reasons to be angry, and the level of anger that you experience is going to be unique to you. But many people struggle with extreme anger.
These types of situations would make anyone angry and upset. But if you experience anger that seems excessive for the situation at hand or that makes you feel like you're losing control of yourself it could be a sign of something more serious. An anger problem could be the root of what's going on in your life, and it could mean that you need professional help to deal with it. Keep in mind that you don't need to react to all situations with anger to have an anger problem. There may be some situations where you are good at turning the other cheek, and somewhere you just can't seem to hold back, and there may seem to be no rhyme or reason to what happens when.
So, if anger is completely normal and people get angry in different ways, how are you supposed to know if you have an actual anger problem? Well, the truth of the matter is there are several different signs and symptoms of an anger disorder:
- Having difficulty calming yourself when you feel anger
- Getting frustrated with yourself during or after an argument
- Breaking objects or punching something during an argument
- Accusing others of doing things behind your back even when they're not
- Becoming violent or short-tempered in response to minor issues
Alongside these actions, you may have specific feelings or emotional symptoms as well. These can come about at any time and may vary in severity. They may also come about in any combination and may not seem to have anything to do with the anger, even though the cause is likely related.
- Lack of sleep
- Social isolation
If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, especially if you experience them with some of the other signs we listed above, it's a good idea to seek out professional help.
Get Rid Of Anger The Healthy Way
So just how can you get healthily rid of your anger? Well, the truth is that it's going to be up to you. There are plenty of sports and other activities that can help you burn off the anger that you might be feeling and there are others that might help you express yourself in a new way. For some, they need an aggressive sport or activity to help them get rid of the anger, and these people may like things like sports, kickboxing or wrestling. On the other hand, some people prefer a way of expression.
Maybe you prefer things like singing, dancing, drawing or some other form of art to help you express your thoughts and feelings. No matter what you prefer, the key is to find something that you enjoy and that will help you get rid of the feelings of anger. It's going to be different for everyone, and it may require a little trial and error, but keep in mind that you only have to enjoy it. Being good or bad at something doesn't mean that it can't help you. You may be terrible at kickboxing, but if it helps you get rid of the anger, it's a great tool for you to use.
Arguing The Right Way
If you already know that you're experiencing anger in an unhealthy way, it's important to take a look at how to get rid of it more healthily. This would require you to do a bit more work and would require you to find professional help. The first part, however, is to make sure that you recognize that there is a problem and that you're ready to do something about it. Remember, it's not going to happen overnight, but it can happen.
Of course, you have to know what to do in the first place. Calming down when you're feeling angry can be extremely difficult. If you do have an anger disorder, it becomes even more difficult. So how can you make it work for you? Well, the first thing is to take a moment before you react. When something happens that anger you, chances are that it's a split second realization that what happened made you angry and, in most cases, you react just as quickly. But if you can take just a moment to think or take a breath before you act, it can actually make a huge difference.
Chances are you already know that yelling and screaming aren't a healthy way to disagree with someone, and they aren't a useful way either. How do you react when someone yells or screams at you? You probably get defensive, right? Even if you know that they're right and you're wrong, you get defensive, and you argue back. The same thing happens when you yell or scream at someone else. That's why it's important to learn how to disagree in a better way, and taking a breath before you react can help you to do just that.
The breath lets you think before you react out of instinct and that means you have a moment to process what was said or done and what was meant as well. Maybe your partner said one thing but (since you know them) you know they meant it a different way than it came out. If you take a moment to breathe, you'll recognize that, and you'll be able to react appropriately. You can ask them what they meant, or you could tell them what it makes you feel when they say things the way they did.
Letting someone know that the things they did have hurt you or made you angry are a good step because it gives them the opportunity to change things. Maybe they didn't realize that what they said or did had hurt you. By you letting them know they can take action to change it. If they did know, you'd be able to respond appropriately, but screaming is still not the answer. You still want to try to remain calm and rational while you express yourself, no matter how hard it might be and that's where getting professional help might be the right answer.
Getting Professional Help
A mental health professional will be able to help you better understand the situation you're in. They'll be able to help you understand your anger and learn how to deal with it appropriately. Keep in mind that even if you don't have an anger disorder, you could still benefit from learning more about your anger and learning healthy ways that you can control it and let it out. A professional will be able to work through the steps with you and help you understand what to do.
Finding a mental health professional is easier than you think, too. That's because there are plenty of them out there, and you have access to just about any of them. That's because of a new service, called BetterHelp. With BetterHelp you can get online and connect with therapists and psychiatrists all around the country. That means you're no longer going to be limited by how far you want to drive. Instead, you can log on to the website from the comfort of your own home and still have your session. What's great is that you can have a session from anywhere you have internet, you're not tied to your house either!
So, when the weather gets nasty, and you can't head out anywhere, you can still make that appointment. When your boss sends you on a last minute trip out of the state you can still make your appointment. There's hardly anything that can keep you from making your appointment, and you'll be able to get as comfortable as you want while you have it. No more sitting on an uncomfortable therapists office couch for you. You can relax in your favorite recliner while you have your session.