What To Know About An Angry Drinker
While being angry while intoxicated is not the norm, there are plenty of times when alcohol can lead someone to become inexplicably angry or more prone to react with aggression. In many cases, type of aggression can take the form of verbal or physical violence. Sometimes, an individual may drink to alleviate their anger only to become more agitated after a few drinks.
If you find yourself in a situation where you are confronted by or otherwise in the proximity of an angry intoxicated person, there are a few things you need to be aware of and understand about when to walk away, how to keep yourself safe or ways in which you can potentially diffuse an aggressive situation.
The Psychology Of Being Mad While Intoxicated
Everyone is likely familiar with the stereotype of a person who is angry when drinking.
Being around an angry or belligerent person can be painful, difficult, and scary. Problematic drinking behaviors may even lead to events of domestic violence. You deserve to live a life free of the stress and anxiety caused by uncontrolled violence, and you shouldn’t have to experience the consequences of the actions of someone who becomes aggressive while drinking, even if they are your friend. The relationships we have in life are important, and we want to see our loved ones healthy and happy. If you are experiencing any kind of abuse, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
There are various factors involved in becoming angry while drinking. The most common factor is an overall aggressive personality. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, especially when in a setting like a bar. Someone who tends to be aggressive and antagonistic toward others when sober is much more susceptible to having these traits magnified when under the influence of alcohol.
However, this health news only begins to explain the inner workings of an angry drinker. Alcohol tends to interfere with cognitive functional abilities. Therefore, this makes it more difficult for an intoxicated person to consider their options and solve problems in constructive, effective ways.
To make matters worse, alcohol also impacts serotonin, which controls emotional control. In this way, someone who is already aggressive when they are not under the influence is going to have a challenging time when alcohol is in their system, considering how much the substance impacts critical, neurological functions.
What To Do When You Are Around Someone Who Is Intoxicated And Angry
If you find yourself in the proximity of someone who is both angry and intoxicated, maybe at a bar or club, the most productive and safe decision you can make is to remove yourself from the situation, even if they are a friend. Your personal safety is the number one priority. Many times, people have attempted to “babysit” the belligerent person, only to find that they’ve made themselves the target of abuse. If someone is intoxicated and angry, leave the situation.
It’s important to understand that when someone is angry and intoxicated, they are generally looking for opportunities to provoke others around them, whether physically or verbally. It’s not uncommon for someone to sober up later only to be appalled by their behavior (if they can even remember), especially if they are a close friend. You may feel tempted to try to calm down someone angry and belligerent, but this can agitate them even further. Walk away today and live without injury or insult tomorrow. Opportunities may soon come where you can talk to the person about a detox program and drug rehab if they’re also struggling with addiction. Depending on the relationship you have with the individual, this may be difficult.
What If The Angry Drinker Is A Loved One?
Being aware of the best practices is helpful for both you and the one you love. If someone you know becomes angry when drinking, you can talk to them once they’ve sobered up. You may wish to get through to them even when they’re intoxicated, but this is very likely to backfire due to the temporary neurological impairments of alcohol consumption.
When the person you care for is sober and no longer influenced by alcohol, they are considerably more likely to hear you out and be receptive to your feedback. This is the time when expressing your worries and concerns about aggression or violence related to their heavy drinking would be appropriate. What If I’m The Angry One?
If you’re someone who becomes angry, violent, or aggressive while under the influence, this can be difficult to manage and there is no exact science to it, especially if it’s beginning to hurt your relationships with those around you. Seeking professional help is the most effective way to change your negative behaviors. Becoming more self-aware can help, too.
How do you feel when you are sober? Are you a happy, fully functional person? How do you feel about the world around you? What does your typical emotional state look like? Are you aware that drinking alcohol lowers your inhibitions? Have you had a significant weight loss? Have you thought about entering an alcohol or drug rehab program?
You’ll find the answers to these questions may give you vital insight into your conduct when you’re intoxicated. Consider how you conducted yourself the last time you were under the influence. How did you feel? Did you lash out at people?
If you are unable to remember, this is a bad sign. You should avoid getting into a situation where you are not able to recall what you did, what you said, or who you may have been around. A licensed professional, with years of experience working with people to cope with their anger in healthy ways, is best suited to help you. It’s a good idea to schedule an appointment as soon as possible and listen to the science behind why this is happening.
Research Behind Being Angry And Intoxicated
In health and science news, experimental social psychology researchers in the United States learned a little more about why some people get aggressive and angry after a bout of heavy drinking. Brad Bushman is a professor of communication and psychology at Ohio State University who is interested in the link between drinking and anger issues. Bushman, whose research is published in a science journal of experimental social psychology, conducted a study of 495 volunteers where the average age of the participants was 23 years. All the participants described themselves as social drinkers. None of them had past or present problems with drug use, alcohol use, or psychiatric problems.
Each person filled out a questionnaire that was designed to find out which of them were future-focused, and which of them tended to be more impulsive.
Bushman’s team then proceeded to give half the volunteers alcohol mixed with orange juice. They gave the other half a glass of orange juice that only had a tiny bit of alcohol added. They sprayed the rim of the glasses with alcohol to help give the impression that they would actually be drinking alcohol.
Next, the researchers told the participants that they would be playing a game of speed reaction where they were going to play against an opponent of the same sex that they couldn’t see. The winner would be able to give the loser an electric shock that was harmless, but slightly painful. The volunteers were unaware that their opponents were actually the researchers.
As the game ensued, the shocks got longer and more intense, making it appear that the opponent was getting angrier and more vengeful every time they won. In reviewing the original questionnaires, the researchers found that the participants that rated themselves as more impulsive were more inclined to strike back by increasing the intensity and length of the shocks to the opponents than the participants that were more future-focused.
The study showed that people who were present-focused were bent on retaliation, whereas the alcohol had little or no effect on the future-focused participants. As it pertained to the impulsive people that were not intoxicated, they also increased the intensity of the shocks, but it wasn’t to the same degree as the people who were intoxicated. Bushman notes that people that engage in thoughtful decision-making and who consider the consequences of their actions while they’re sober, don’t act very differently when they’re under heavy influence of alcohol.
Addiction To Being Intoxicated
Alcoholism can manifest in a variety of ways, and it generally takes time to develop. This does not mean that being angry when under the influence automatically makes someone addicted to alcohol. However, alcoholism develops over time, and it can be difficult to realize until it’s already manifested.
If you or someone you know has an alcohol or substance use disorder, seeking professional help is the best step forward to help you stay sober. Many people tell themselves they can stop drinking whenever they want, but when someone feels dependent on alcohol, stopping on their own and without any help or support can be extremely challenging.
Thankfully, there are many forms of therapy that can help individuals who are struggling with alcoholism and want to stay sober. Options for treatment include working one-on-one with a therapist or in a group setting.
Alcohol addiction treatment can have various different components depending on what the client wants and needs. Alcohol detox is often the initial stage of rehab programs. If you’re in need of alcohol detox, it’s important to get it safely. A good rehab program will provide an attendant to monitor you while you go through the alcohol detox process. If you’re also struggling with drug addiction, your alcohol rehab program may include drug rehab. Typically, your rehab program will begin with alcohol detox before you begin other parts of your rehab.
Rehab programs have various approaches to detox. Depending on the severity of your addiction, your detox program might last several days, weeks, or months.
Many people who live with mental health disorders also struggle with drug or alcohol addictions. This is called dual diagnosis. While someone that has a mental health disorder is participating in an alcohol or drug rehab program, the provider will usually address the addiction and the mental health disorder at the same time.
Different treatment options work for different people, and that’s okay. However, if you are living with alcoholism and finding it difficult to get sober on your own, then having the right support system in place is imperative. This isn’t something you should do alone.
Suggestions For Replacing Drinking With Other Coping Mechanisms
Sometimes, handling an angry drinker can be achieved on your own, if it happens once. In other cases, having the support and backing of an expert is necessary. Being willing to accept guidance and help can open the door for you to experience brighter days tomorrow.
Keeping a journal can also help you process your feelings more effectively. If you’re feeling stressed or anxious as a result of your involvement with an angry drinker, write about it. Having an outlet will be a wonderful tool while you are on this journey.
You could also try meditation as a way to steady yourself. This relaxation technique has proven widespread success. It doesn’t require any special equipment and is accessible even to beginners.
If you’re interested in working with a professional, BetterHelp has a network of licensed professionals with years of experience. No matter who you are or what your story is, you should never feel as though you are alone and without anyone to turn to. Help will always be available to those who are open, receptive, and willing to accept it. If you are living with an alcohol or drug addiction or living with someone who may have an addiction, online therapy can be a safe, convenient, and affordable way to reach support and learn about available resources. You can schedule appointments from a preferred space with an internet connection and at times that are convenient for your schedule.
Studies evaluating the effectiveness of online therapy as an intervention for alcohol addiction have seen success in healing participants or significantly reducing their problematic symptoms. In one randomized controlled trial, researchers compared the results of those who participated in an online therapeutic intervention with those who engaged in no intervention and those who completed a brief online self-help activity without therapist contact. The online therapeutic intervention involved seven 40-minute text-based chat-therapy sessions, each preceded by a homework assignment. The results highlighted how participants in the therapist-led intervention reduced their weekly alcohol consumption by much more than those in the wait-list cohort and the automated self-help cohort.
If you’re curious to learn about other people’s experiences in managing their alcohol or anger challenges, read below for some reviews of BetterHelp counselors, from people experiencing similar issues.
BetterHelp Counselor And Therapist Reviews
“Krysten has been an immense help in dealing with and confronting my anger and depression issues. I started to notice immediate changes in my general disposition within a week of working with her. My friends and family have even said I seem less bitter and jaded. And the fact that I can communicate with her frequently has done wonders in keeping me on track and progressing forward. My time working with Krysten and being on BetterHelp has been a positive experience and done much more for me than traditional in-office therapy ever did.”
“Regina helped me pinpoint where my anger issue stemmed from in the very first session, and has been helping me become more self aware of my warning triggers. Very insightful and helpful!”
Takeaway
At some point, we all will encounter a challenge we wish to overcome. It could be supporting someone close to you who becomes angry when drinking, adapting to a recent lifestyle change, or coping with loss. When faced with challenges in life, the key is to rise above them and find ways to move forward and thrive. Take your first step today with BetterHelp.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Why Do I Get So Angry When Intoxicated?
Getting angry when drinking is a common behavior for some people. One thing to remember is that alcohol lowers a person’s inhibitions. It’s not that drinking causes angry outbursts; it creates the perfect storm for them to happen. Alcohol lessens the activity in the brain’s prefrontal cortex. That area is connected to a person’s self-control as well as self-reflection. If you have less control over your actions, and you struggle with losing your cool, drinking is going to enhance that weakness. You will become angrier than you want to be when you’re intoxicated. That’s why it’s essential to monitor how much you drink and realize that if you have a problem with being angry, drinking probably isn’t a good idea.
If you’re a person who becomes angry when you drink, your friends and loved ones may not want to be around you when you’re consuming alcohol. If you struggle with processing or managing your anger, it’s essential to address it when you are sober. You may need anger management. If you’re masking your problems in drunken behavior, you won’t know how bad your anger issues are. If you’re an angry drinker, it is important to take accountability for your actions and to figure out what is causing your behavior. You may want to start by looking at what makes you angry while sober. Angry drinkers need to address their actions before the problems get worse.
Do Your True Feelings Come Out When You Are Drinking?
Some people refer to alcohol as “truth serum.” That’s because drinking lowers a person’s inhibitions. They don’t have as much anxiety surrounding expressing their feelings. They feel relaxed, their brain is producing dopamine, and they’re in an emotional place where they can be vulnerable without thinking about the consequences.
How Do I Respond To My Wife Who Gets Angry When She Drinks?
When your wife is an angry drinker, she may instigate fights. Inappropriate behavior while intoxicated can be a sign of other issues going on. An angry drinker could be self-medicating other mental health issues. Maybe your wife has a mental illness such as bipolar disorder, PTSD, or borderline personality disorder. People who have these issues sometimes struggle with being angry.
An angry drinker isn’t a “bad person.” They may say or do hurtful things, but they’re not always aware of their behavior. Your wife is likely in pain. She may be masking the hurt by drinking. While you perceive an angry intoxicated wife, she may be struggling to cope with emotional distress. However, being angry and in pain doesn’t give anyone the right to be rude, or emotionally or physically abusive to another person. If you fear for your safety, it’s crucial to keep yourself safe and reach out for help. The best thing you can do if your wife is an angry drinker is to encourage her to get her help. It’s not going to be productive to talk to her when she is intoxicated. When your wife has sobered up, you can discuss how her behavior is affecting you. She might not realize she is an angry drinker. If you point out how she is hurting you with her behavior, that might be the way to lead her toward help.
Can Alcohol Change Your Personality?
Alcohol doesn’t change your personality. However, it can exacerbate specific attributes. If you happen to have issues with being angry, you may see them more pronounced when you’re intoxicated. If you live with depression, you might notice that you are more down when you drink. Alcohol doesn’t transform your personality into someone else.
Can You Get Angry And Fight While Intoxicated?
Some people become physically violent when they drink. If you are an angry drinker, it’s best not to get into situations where you could instigate a fight. Angry drinkers should stay away from potentially volatile situations.
Does Alcoholism Cause Anger?
Drinking and being angry are linked. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, there is a considerable correlation between excessive alcohol use and being angry. 40% of inmates who were incarcerated for violent offenses were under the influence of alcohol at the time they committed the crime.
Can A Blacked-Out Person Remember Anything?
A person who is intoxicated can remember things, but it might be difficult for them at times. Because the brain is affected during drinking, a person may find it difficult to remember the chain of events that happened when they were under the heavy influence of alcohol. Angry drinkers can have a hard time recalling information. Alcohol can affect short and long-term memory.
Do Intoxicated Calls Mean Anything?
When a person is drinking, they may become emotional and express their true feelings. You might have heard the expression “drunk dial.” An individual who has been drinking may call an ex and beg the person to take them back.
Why Do Some People Cry After Drinking?
Alcohol can release people’s emotions. They are less inhibited or anxious, and that can make them feel safe enough to cry.
Why Can’t I Stop Drinking Once I Start?
If you have trouble with stopping drinking after you start, you may have an addictive personality. It’s important to discuss these concerns with a licensed mental health professional. Many people struggle with substance use or alcoholism, and you can get help.
Is Alcoholism Genetic?
There is a genetic component to alcoholism. If you have a family who struggles with addiction, you are genetically predisposed to it. If alcoholism runs in your family, it’s essential to pay attention to it. You could be at risk of developing a dependency on it.
How Do You Interact With An Intoxicated Person Who Is Angry?
It depends on how the individual is behaving. If you are engaging with angry drinkers, it’s crucial to keep yourself safe. Don’t engage in an argument with that individual. If they try to instigate a fight with you, remind yourself that they are under the influence, and you aren’t going to get a rational response out of them. Try not to take anything they say personally, as their inhibitions are down, and they’re probably not entirely aware of their words and actions.
Nevertheless, you don’t have to put up with being abused. You can remind the person that they may not be saying or doing the same things if they were sober. They need to be aware that they are hurting people. It’s okay to empathize with the individual, but keep in mind that they are not entirely mindful of what they are doing. Get them to a safe location where they are not at risk of being physically or emotionally harmed. Being intoxicated is a vulnerable state and you want to make sure that the person is safe. For angry drinkers, this is especially important. You don’t want them to harm themselves or others. If that means taking them to the emergency room, then do it. You could save a life.
Are Intoxicated People Honest?
When a person feels safe, they may express their true feelings. That applies to those who are intoxicated at times. When you are intoxicated, you might say things that you may not have said when you were sober. Your honesty could reach new levels, and you might hurt people’s feelings. Many people find that they are more transparent and vulnerable when drinking.
Do You Bleed More When You’re Intoxicated?
Alcohol is a blood thinner. Your blood clots when you drink, which can increase the risk of stroke. Because of this, you run the risk, if you get into an accident, of bleeding more when you are under the influence of alcohol.
Why Do Couples Get Angry And Fight When Drinking?
Couples argue when they are intoxicated because they may have been holding in pent-up emotions. When their inhibitions are down, honesty comes out. Their true feelings are revealed, and the heat is on. If you and your partner are fighting when drinking, and it’s escalating to the point of being angry, it’s time to take a break and walk away. That may mean one of you needs to step out of the space.
Why Do I Blackout When Drinking?
You black out when drinking because your blood alcohol level rises too high, and your body cannot keep up with it. That causes blackouts and memory loss.
Additional questions on this topic can be found below:
What are the four types of drinkers?
How do you engage with an intoxicated and belligerent person?
What does it mean when someone is an aggressive drinker?
What are the five stages of being intoxicated?
Why am I an angry drinker?
Does alcohol bring out your true personality?
Why do intoxicated people get belligerent?
Why does someone get mean when they drink?
Do people mean what they say when intoxicated?
Why does alcohol make my boyfriend angry?
- Previous ArticleWhat Does Angry Body Language Look Like?
- Next ArticleWhat Is The Best Anger Management Strategy?