Examples Of Body Language Attraction

Updated March 2, 2023by BetterHelp Editorial Team

For most people, body language is a fundamental aspect of communication. It can also help you communicate and recognize romantic attraction.

You can learn more about body language signs with guides like this. And, if you'd like to dive deeper into the topic, you can also use methods like online therapy

Reading Body Language 

Learn More About How Body Language Influences Attraction

Observing or "reading" body language is not a definitive guide to understanding another person's thoughts or feelings. Everyone expresses body language in their own way, and different sexualities and identities experience varying levels and types of attraction

Regardless of how clear someone’s body language may appear to be, you cannot know what they’re thinking and feeling unless you discuss it. So, it's important to talk about romantic interactions to attain explicit verbal consent – don't forego this step simply because you notice indicators of psychological attraction through body language.

Is Body Language Affected By Gender? 

Some research shows that gender may influence how we "read" body language. In addition, it might also influence how we express attraction. For example, some studies indicate that male-identifying individuals are historically more likely to express attraction through dominant body language and behavior. In contrast, female-identifying individuals are more likely to do so through signs of submission. 

However, many people share aspects of body language attraction regardless of biological sex, gender identification, or sexuality. Additionally, gender is a spectrum, and some individuals may have a fluid gender identity that shifts between male- and female-identifying instead of staying fixed. So, while we may note whether certain signs of body language attraction are more commonly masculine or feminine, these differences likely won't apply to everyone you meet. 

16 Examples Of Body Language Attraction

Exploring different signs of body language attraction may help you recognize these signals in your interactions. This list may also be helpful if body language doesn't come naturally to you, which is normal for many people. 

Showing Fertility

Even if on a subconscious level, body language is often related to sexual excitement and attraction, which is biologically related to fertility. An individual may express signs of their fertility in different ways, ranging from a masculine presentation of standing up straight and squaring the shoulders to a feminine expression of tilting the head to expose more pheromones. 

Preening Behaviors

Individuals may engage in preening behavior around someone they find attractive. It's often exhibited by a general concern for their physical appearance, from brushing hair from their face and checking the mirror to readjusting clothing.

Licking Lips

When a person is around someone they find attractive, it may make them nervous. Feeling nervous can activate the salivary glands or lead to a dry mouth. And both of these experiences may cause someone to lick their lips. 

Parted Lips

Some individuals are more likely to part their lips (rather than lick them) as a sign of attraction. It might be a response to subtle nervousness or indicate that they're anticipating a kiss when your faces are close together. 

Hip Movements

The way an individual moves their hips can potentially indicate romantic attraction. For example, if music is playing, subtle hip motions can signal that the person feels at ease and may be interested in you. Individuals may also touch their partner's hips to signal attraction. 

Eye And Facial Movements

The face can be a strong indicator of emotions, including attraction. For example, a person's facial expression may mirror yours if they are attracted to or connected to you. Or their face might be expressive with signs such as smiling, raised eyebrows, or occasional widening of the eyes. 

An individual who is attracted to you may also try to make eye contact with you, although their personality can impact whether it's sustained or brief. They might also look up and down the body of someone they're attracted to, allowing their eyes to take in the rest of the person. 

Flared Nostrils

When a person's nostrils flare, it's often a way to take a quick breath in, and it can sometimes be related to attraction. It might indicate interest and excitement, and on a biological level, it's also possible that this is to take in more of the other person's pheromones.

Open Physical Posture

A general open physical posture instead of a "closed" posture often indicates comfort or attraction. And while it isn't always associated with a romantic interest, it's usually a good sign on a date. For example, a person with an open posture may keep their body facing more toward you, uncross their arms, or point their feet toward you. They may also seek to remove barriers between themselves and the person they're attracted to. 

Showing Availability

People are often more attracted to someone who shows availability, so this may appear in body language. For example, this might include the "opening up" mentioned above, making eye contact instead of looking away (or at their phone), or mirroring the other person's body language. 

However, many people feel uncomfortable with eye contact, so a lack of eye contact doesn't always indicate that the individual isn't attracted to you. 

Smiling

Learn More About How Body Language Influences Attraction

Smiling is another way some people show their availability when engaged in dating. Smiling can make you more attractive and inviting while expressing interest to another person. 

Leaning In

Another aspect of attraction and body language involves physical space and the distance, or lack thereof, between two people. For example, if you observe two people leaning in toward one another and engaging in conversation, it may signal that they're attracted to each other. Leaning in may indicate a desire for greater intimacy and that the person is paying close attention to you.

Flushing Or Blushing

There are some signs of attraction that we can't usually control on a physiological level. For example, an individual experiencing feelings of attraction may experience a rushing of blood to the face, resulting in flushing or blushing. 

Faster Heartbeat And Breathing

Another physiological response to attraction involves a quickened heartbeat. And while you won't usually take someone's pulse while you're on a date, faster breathing is often associated with a quickened heartbeat. A person whose heart is beating fast may also have warmer palms. 

Speed Of Movement

The speed of a person's movement might tell you how they're feeling, but it depends on their personality. For example, moving slowly and deliberately and taking your time with actions may show confidence. On the other hand, fast and jerky movements might indicate nervousness. And both can serve as indicators of attraction depending on the individual's personality. 

Touching

Brief moments of physical contact might tell a larger story of attraction than they seem to let on. For example, a touch might seem accidental or innocent, but it can often indicate that a person is looking for a more intimate relationship. In addition, small touches may signal a desire for more touching, whether done consciously or not.

Mirroring

We've mentioned mirroring a few times in this list and with good reason. Biologically speaking, humans are hardwired to mirror the movements of others. And while it often happens subconsciously, mimicking body movements to take on a similar pose might indicate engagement in the interaction.

Learning More About Body Language

These examples of body language associated with attraction do not apply to everyone, and it's normal for different people to display different types of body language. Furthermore, some mental health diagnoses (e.g., autism) and life experiences may interfere with reading or displaying body language, and that's okay. 

If you're interested in learning more about reading body language or using it in your interactions, psychotherapy may help. In addition, many mental health professionals will study body language to understand their patients better, which makes it easier for them to teach their patients about the topic if the patient asks. Therapy where you can see your professional – face-to-face or video – may make learning more about this topic easier. And either option is valid since online therapy is as effective as in-person treatment.

Online therapy can also make it more convenient to learn about body language, especially if time or money is a barrier. And it offers more than a better understanding of others – therapy can also help you explore and learn about your emotions, relationship goals, and experience of life. 

Takeaway

Regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation, many people exhibit similar body language signs when they experience attraction. However, explicit verbal consent and discussion is the best way to confirm whether someone is attracted to you. This also helps ensure that they experience attraction the same way you do so that you know how to move forward. 

If you find body language confusing or want to learn more about it, therapy is always an option. At BetterHelp, we'll match you with an experienced and licensed mental health professional based on your needs and preferences. In addition, we can connect you with someone who can help you learn how to use or read body language as you navigate dating and romantic relationships. 

You can choose to communicate with your professional via voice, video, or in-app messaging at times that are convenient for you. You'll also be able to message your therapist anytime, and they'll respond as soon as they can. 

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