Why Am I So Alone And How Do I Fix It?
By Sarah Fader
Updated December 06, 2018
Reviewer Wendy Boring-Bray, DBH, LPC
You're the person that everyone calls when they want to commiserate or celebrate, and you never let them down. You've been the cheerleader for everyone else all the time you've known them. Now, you're wondering why you feel that your friends are not as supportive of you as you have been for them. You find yourself wondering, "If I have so many friends, why am I so alone?" If this sounds like you, it's time to focus a little more on yourself and what will truly make you happy and have a fulfilled life.
Feeling Alone Breeds Discontent
When you feel alone, it's easy to have a pity party. You start dwelling on all the things that bother you. You hate your job. Friendships no longer feel satisfying. There are many things that you want and need to do, and you don't feel like doing any of them. You spend your time sleeping too much and mindlessly dwelling on everything that's wrong in your world.
Shake it off. Let go of the past and focus on your future. You don't need to do it on your own. The credentialed counselors at BetterHelp.com can help you to get unstuck and move forward in a new direction. A counselor can help you to better understand why it is that you feel so alone and what you can do to change that.
Why Am I So Alone and How Did I Get Here?
You feel alone because you have lived your life vicariously through those that you love and care about. You've let them define who you are and what you need to do to live a happy and productive life.
What you haven't done is pursue the dreams that lead to your own happiness. Perhaps you've spent more time dreaming about what things will be like when you reach the goals you have for yourself, and not enough time working towards them. Let's not forget that your friends worked hard to get where they are.
To move forward, you need to stop living in the past and stop focusing on everyone else. Pursuing happiness doesn't mean that you turn away from friendships, it just means that you prioritize yourself first, and friends second.
If you know what makes you happy, start moving in that direction. If you're still figuring things out, start trying some new things to find a sense of purpose.
Taking Steps to Getting Out of a Rut
Moving forward may mean stepping out of your comfort zone. It's a little unsettling at first, but you'll soon see the value in it.
Do you need additional education or training to pursue a truly satisfying career? If you need to get training while working full-time, there are many options for online classes in nearly every field. Visit a local college or technical school to explore the possibilities.
Do you need to develop a talent? Carve out time in your schedule to practice your craft or seek additional training with an industry mentor.
Do you need to find a better balance between work and life? Set up a session with a life coach to give you some guidance and support.
Being alone isn't always a bad thing. Feeling lonely might be just what you need to get unstuck. Take some time to sort through what you need to be happy and start pursuing it today. Don't be afraid to ask for the help you need.