Domestic Violence Quotes For Support
By Sarah Fader
Updated January 16, 2019
Those who have suffered through or are suffering from domestic violence often feel alone and as if they will never get out of their abusive lifestyle. It is hard for them to imagine ever living a life of happiness, calm and protection. Reading about others who have survived domestic violence and have moved on to joyful, fulfilling lives may be the impetus that they need to make a change. If you are, or have been, in an abusive relationship, please remember that what you are experiencing is not about you! An abuser will be abusive regardless of who his or her partner is. But there is hope. You are not alone.
Quotes About The Reality Of Domestic Abuse
"Domestic violence (also called intimate partner violence (IPV), domestic abuse or relationship abuse) is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship." - The National Domestic Violence Hotline
*Domestic Violence is not love. It is not care or concern for another person. It is not justified by suggesting that it is evidence of the intensity of how deeply the abuser loves their partner. It is about power and control.
"Domestic violence is any behavior involving physical, psychological, emotional, sexual or verbal abuse. It is any form of aggression intended to hurt, damage, or kill an intimate person." - Asa Don Brown
*Domestic violence is not just bodily harm done to individuals. It reaches far and deep.
"An abuser isn't abusive 24/7. They usually demonstrate positive character traits most of the time. That's what makes leaving so much more difficult." - Miya Yamanouchi
*This quote may shed light on why many individuals do not leave abusive relationships. They feel that the good times outweigh the bad times so why not stay? If anyone puts hands on you for any reason at any time, it is time to reassess that relationship and get help or get out.
*The cycle of violence includes at least three stages: the tension-building stage (which is often the longest); the abuse stage (which may be the 'shortest' in terms of time spent in this stage); and the honeymoon stage (in which the abuser may apologize, beg forgiveness, plie the partner with gifts, and may even threaten suicide).
"It's not always easy to tell at the beginning of a relationship if it will become abusive." - The National Domestic Violence Hotline
*If a relationship started out as overtly abusive, it would be pretty easy for any potential victim to leave. That is simply not the reality, though. Abuse tends to begin slowly, most often with relatively subversive, emotional and psychological abuse first, which chips away at the other person's self-esteem, self-confidence, courage, and hope.
"Has he ever trapped you in a room and not let you out?
Has he ever raised a fist as if he were going to hit you?
Has he ever thrown an object that hit you or nearly did?
Has he ever held you down or grabbed you to restrain you?
Has he ever shoved, poked, or grabbed you?
Has he ever threatened to hurt you?
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then we can stop wondering whether he'll ever be violent; he already has been."
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
"If the numbers we see in domestic violence were applied to terrorism or gang violence, the entire country would be up in arms, and it would be the lead story on the new every night." - Representative Mark Green
*Not that those numbers should be reassuring to anyone, but if someone in an abusive relationship realizes that there are that many people affected by domestic violence, it may also make them realize that they aren't the only one dealing with this crime and that they should request help for their situation.
"Another way a person shows they are trustworthy is when their words and behavior match up. For example, if someone says they love you, and then they act abusively toward you, their words and actions don't match. When you love someone, you do not abuse them." - The National Domestic Violence Hotline
*You do not need to confuse intensity of emotion with love. Genuine love always seeks the best of the other person. Do not be deceived by assertions, no matter how confident or strongly stated, by someone who seeks to harm you.
"No woman has to be a victim of physical abuse. Women have to feel like they are not alone." - Salma Hayek
*This is one of the biggest themes to be broadcast about domestic abuse…YOU ARE NOT ALONE. If you are in one of these awful relationships, there are many people who can help you - family, professionals, friends, etc.
"From what I've been told, the scariest part of being part of a domestic abuse relationship is the idea that you cannot escape and you cannot get help, that feeling of being stuck." - Kerry Washington
*Again, that feeling of being alone and not being able to do anything. There is help out there. Just reach out and ask for it.
"Domestic violence does not only happen to adults. Forty percent of girls age 14 to 17 report knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend, and approximately one in five female high school students' reports being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner." -- Dianne Feinstein
'Emotional abuse is any type of abuse that is not physical in nature. It can include everything from verbal abuse to the silent treatment, domination to subtle manipulation." - Beverly Engel
"Domestic violence causes far more pain than the visible marks of bruises and scars. It is devastating to be abused by someone that you love and think loves you in return. It is estimated that approximately 3 million incidents of domestic violence are reported each year in the United States." -- Dianne Feinstein
*Domestic violence is not just physical in nature. Emotional abuse can be just as bad, sometimes worse, than physical abuse.
Quotes Of Empowerment And Support
"By publicly speaking out against domestic violence, together we can challenge attitudes towards violence in the home and show that domestic violence is a crime and not merely unacceptable." - Honor Blackman
*See something, say something. Speak up and speak out.
The best index to a person's character is
- a) how he treats people who can't do him any good and
- b) how he treats people who can't fight back. -- Abigail Van Buren
"do not look for healing at the feet of those who broke you" ― Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey
"Real confidence comes from knowing and accepting yourself - your strengths and your limitations - in contrast to depending on affirmation from others." - Judith M. Bardwick
*Be confident in yourself and practice self-love and positive self-affirmations. When you love yourself and have a strong self-image, you can handle anything that you are confronted with.
"Don't judge yourself by what others did to you." ― C. Kennedy, Ómorphi
"Women trapped in violent relationships need to know that there's no shame in talking out and walking out on their abusive partners." - Kate Thornton
We need 4 hugs a day for survival.
We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance.
We need 12 hugs a day for growth. -- Virginia Satir
"Instead of saying, "I'm damaged, I'm broken, I have trust issues" say "I'm healing, I'm rediscovering myself, I'm starting over." ― Horacio Jones
The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any. -- Alice Walker
*Words are powerful, especially those we speak to ourselves. Be intentional in how you talk to yourself.
"You can recognize survivors of abuse by their courage. When silence is so very inviting, they step forward and share their truth so others know they aren't alone." ― Jeanne McElvaney, Healing Insights: Effects of Abuse for Adults Abused as Children
"Courage is like a muscle. We strengthen it with use." -- Ruth Gordon
*Be strong. If a relationship is not going well, for whatever reason, you can leave it, especially if it is abusive. No need to be embarrassed. Leave and don't look back.
"Believe in yourself and be proud of who you are. Don't let anyone tell you differently. There is beauty in everyone, and no one should stop you from growing into a confident and strong young person." - June Sarpong
"Psychological and emotional wellness is an ongoing process for everyone." ― C. Kennedy, Ómorphi
*You can do it!!
Domestic Violence is a terrible reality for so many. Please know that you are not alone. Others have been where you are. Please seek support and assistance to protect yourself, and your children if you have them, from continuing abuse.