Often, those who have experienced or are experiencing domestic violence might feel alone or trapped in their situation. For some, it can be challenging to recognize actions as domestic violence—which can complicate one’s vision of a happy, calm and safe experience in one’s relationships.
What's The Benefit Of Reading Domestic Violence Quotes?
Domestic violence can affect anyone of any age and any gender. Reading about the many types of people who have survived domestic violence and have moved on to joyful, fulfilling lives might give someone experiencing those challenges comfort about past experiences, or encouragement to find a safe way out. Supportive strategies and advocates (such as a licensed therapist) can also help with this process.
Read on to view some of the best quotes to support those who have survived or who may be currently surviving an abusive or violent experience.
When you're in an unhealthy relationship, whether it's with your partner, parent, or anyone in your household, you might feel as if you don’t remember what life can be like when the people in your life respect healthy boundaries. If you’re surviving an abusive situation, or you have in the past, acknowledging it may help you move toward an action plan to get the healthy and joyful life you deserve. Consider these domestic violence quotes – you can keep them with you, even if it’s only in your mind, for support:
Domestic Violence Quotes Defining Domestic Abuse
- "Domestic violence is any behavior involving physical, psychological, emotional, sexual or verbal abuse. It is any form of aggression intended to hurt, damage or kill an intimate person."-Asa Don Brown
- “Emotional abuse is any type of abuse that is not physical in nature. It can include everything from verbal abuse to silent treatment, domination to subtle manipulation."-Beverly Engel
- "Another way a person shows they are trustworthy is when their words and behavior match up. For example, if someone says they love you, and then they act abusively toward you, their words and actions don't match. When you love someone, you do not abuse them."-The National Domestic Violence Hotline
- "It's not always easy to tell at the beginning of a relationship if it will become abusive."-The National Domestic Violence Hotline
- If these quotes seem to describe your relationship, we want to encourage you: There can be resources made available to you.
This might be a challenging situation, but it can be possible to remove yourself from it safely. Connecting with a therapist or the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) is often a helpful first place to start for many.
Domestic Violence Quotes To Validate Survivors' Experiences
- "Believe in yourself and be proud of who you are. Don't let anyone tell you differently. There is beauty in everyone, and no one should stop you from growing into a confident and strong young person."-June Sarpong
- "If the numbers we see in domestic violence were applied to terrorism or gang violence, the entire country would be up in arms, and it would be the lead story on the news every night."-Representative Mark Green
- "You can recognize survivors of abuse by their courage."-Jeanne McElvaney, "Healing Insights: Effects of Abuse for Adults Abused as Children"
- "By publicly speaking out against domestic violence, together we can challenge attitudes toward violence in the home and show that domestic violence is a crime and not merely unacceptable."-Honor Blackman
Domestic Violence Quotes To Gain Perspective
We do want to note that while domestic violence campaigns and quotes may be written with those who identify as women in mind, many people of any gender, orientation, and age might find themselves in unsafe or unhealthy situations. Domestic violence can look different in different situations, including across cultures. Understanding the range of experiences that many may have survived (or are currently surviving) can lead to a more empathetic and supportive society.
"Domestic violence does not only happen to adults. Forty percent of girls aged 14 to 17 report knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend, and approximately one in five female high school students report being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner." -Dianne Feinstein
- Has he ever trapped you in a room and not let you out?
- Has he ever raised a fist as if he were going to hit you?
- Has he ever thrown an object that hit you or nearly did?
- Has he ever held you down or grabbed you to restrain you?
- Has he ever shoved, poked, or grabbed you?
- Has he ever threatened to hurt you?
- If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then we can stop wondering whether he'll ever be violent; he already has been."-Lundy Bancroft
Understanding Domestic Violence
Some might describe abusive relationships as following a cycle. However, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, the "cycle of abuse" can make domestic violence sound predictable when it rarely is. Many experts believe that the Power and Control Wheel from the Duluth model may be a more accurate way of describing abuse.
What To Look Out For
The Power and Control Wheel is thought by many to list many of the more common tactics used by an abuser to maintain control in a domestic violence situation. While no diagram is generally likely to summarize the complexities of all domestic violence, the following tactics may be helpful when examining abusive behavior:
- Evaluating the role of privilege throughout the situational context
- Evaluating the possibility of economic abuse
- Evaluating the possibility of child exploitation
- Considering the presence or absence of instances where coercion and threats were used
- Considering the presence or absence of instances where intimidation was used
- Considering the presence or absence of instances where emotional abuse occurred
- Considering the presence or absence of instances where isolation-related abuse occurred
- Considering the presence or absence of instances where minimizing, denying and blaming occurred
According to the Duluth Model, the more subtle behaviors listed above are thought by many to possibly allow the abuser to maintain power and control in the relationship. Additionally, they may reinforce the regular use of these behaviors in tandem with violence.
What Are Your Options?
When you can see the possible range of domestic violence and its components, it can be easier to recognize if it’s happening to you—and it may also support your decision to leave, if you are able to.
If any of this information describes your situation, you may benefit by reaching out for help if it’s safe for you to do so. There can be help and resources available for you that can connect you to a more fulfilling and safer experience.
Support For Domestic Violence Is Available
Online Therapy For Domestic Violence Survivors
Talking to a therapist can support you in validating your experience, which may help you determine your next few steps.
Those surviving a relationship that incorporates elements of domestic violence may find it difficult to safely leave the home, especially to seek therapy or external support. Online therapy can provide a more convenient, discreet form of support to those who deem it safe to try for their specific needs.
Does Online Therapy Work?
While many may appreciate the benefits that they can gain from pursuing an online therapy program, others may be questioning its efficacy—as it does look different from an in-person treatment model.
Many recent studies have come forward affirming the efficacy of online therapy, with many explaining that it can be a safe and flexible alternative to in-person methods; offering comparable benefits to many patients experiencing a range of mental health conditions.
A study published in Internet Interventions indicated that online therapy may be a comparable effective modality for those surviving domestic or intimate partner violence. After the test subjects underwent a number of online therapy sessions, nearly half of the group reported a reduction in PTSD symptoms that indicated that they were in a state of clinical remission. More participants (54%) showed reliable improvement, and 65% of participants found significant relief from depression—which can co-occur in many survivors of domestic or intimate partner violence.
What is a powerful quote about abuse?
Here are some quotes about abuse, which some survivors may find helpful or relatable:
- “All too often women believe it is a sign of commitment, an expression of love, to endure unkindness or cruelty, to forgive and forget. In actuality, when we love rightly we know that the healthy, loving response to cruelty and abuse is putting ourselves out of harm's way.” –Bell Hooks, All About Love: New Visions
- “Don't judge yourself by what others did to you.” –C. Kennedy, Ómorphi
- “So often survivors have had their experiences denied, trivialized, or distorted. Writing is an important avenue for healing because it gives you the opportunity to define your own reality. You can say: This did happen to me. It was that bad. It was the fault & responsibility of the adult. I was—and am—innocent.”--Ellen Bass, The Courage To Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
- “Like a constant ringing in the ears or background noise, the frequency of emotional abuse has caused us to try to ignore it since we can’t ever seem to get away from it. And if we can ignore it, we can deny not only its existence but also its effects.” —Gregory L. Jantz
- “You’re in a relationship to be happy, to smile, to laugh, and to make good memories. Not to be constantly upset, to feel hurt, and to cry.” –Unknown
What is a good quote about violence?
Here are some quotes about violence:
- “All violence consists of some people forcing others, under threat of suffering or death, to do what they do not want to do.” –Leo Tolstoy
- “Every woman who thinks she is the only victim of violence has to know that there are many more.” –Salma Hayek
- “Women endure entire lifetimes of these indignities—in the form of catcalls, groping, assault, oppression. These things injure us. They sap our strength. Some of the cuts are so small they’re barely visible. Others are huge and gaping, leaving scars that never heal. Either way, they accumulate. We carry them everywhere, to and from school and work, at home while raising our children, at our places of worship, anytime we try to advance.” –Michelle Obama, Becoming
- “All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.” –Marshall B. Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life
What are some quotes about fighting abuse?
As stated by Jessica A. Oates, LPCC-S, PMH-C, “Trauma creates change you don’t choose. Healing creates change you do.” Though the healing process can be very unique, challenging and painful, there are some quotes about overcoming abuse that you may find helpful:
- “Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.” –Maya Angelou
- “You can recognize survivors of abuse by their courage. When silence is so very inviting, they step forward and discuss their truth so others know they aren't alone.” –Jeanne McElvaney, Healing Insights: Effects of Abuse for Adults Abused as Children
- “When it comes to abuse, you believe there’s no way out. There is always help. There is always a way out.” – Donna Mulvey
- “Overcoming abuse doesn’t just happen, It takes positive steps every day. Let today be the day you start to move forward.” – Assunta Harris
- “There is no timestamp on trauma. There isn’t a formula that you can insert yourself into to get from horror to healed. Be patient. Take up space. Let your journey be the balm.” – Dawn Serra
- “I have the power to change my physical and emotional experience.” –Patricia Dsouza
- “Do not look for healing at the feet of those who broke you” –Rupi Kaur, milk and honey
- “Survivors of abuse show us the strength of their personal spirit every time they smile.” –Jeanne McElvaney, Healing Insights: Effects of Abuse for Adults Abused as Children
What is the circle of violence quote?
In the television show, True Detective, homicide detective Rustin Cohle says, "My life's been a circle of violence and degradation for as long as I can remember. I'm ready to tie it off." This quote references the Seventh Circle of Hell (also called the Hell of the Violent) in Dante’s Inferno, which is occupied by individuals who have engaged in violence.
What is the most hurtful quote?
The following quote investigates a hurtful comment that is relatable for many people who have experienced domestic violence:
“You’re too sensitive’ victims of sexual abuse are told over and over by those whose reality depends on being insensitive. Most adults who have been in the victim role cringe when anyone tells them they are sensitive. In fact, sensitivity is a lovely trait and one to be cherished in any human being.” –Renee Fredrickson, Repressed Memories: A Journey to Recovery from Sexual Abuse
What are gaslighting quotes?
Gaslighting is a form of manipulation and emotional abuse that is usually characterized by a sustained effort to undermine someone's trust in their own reality. Oftentimes, gaslighting confuses and isolates victims, causing them to second-guess themselves or question if they are “crazy” or “overly sensitive.” Many abusive relationships exhibit signs of gaslighting. The following phrases are commonly used by gaslighters to discredit the emotional experience of others:
- “Stop being dramatic.”
- “You’re being too sensitive.”
- “That never happened.”
- “You know I was joking, why don’t you have a sense of humor?”
- “You’re always angry.”
- “Everyone knows I’m right.”
- “You always accuse me of that. It’s not like you’re perfect.”
- “You’re really going to say that after everything I’ve done for you?”
` If you have an abusive partner, you might find these quotes about gaslighting relatable:
- “If you alter your behaviour because you are frightened of how your partner will react, you are being abused.” –Sandra Horley
- “Narcissists withhold affection to punish you. Withhold attention to get revenge. And withhold an emotional empathetic response to make you feel insecure.” –Alice Little
- “Toxic people be like, ‘How dare you set boundaries and not allow me to control and manipulate you?’” – Wingheart
- “Gaslighting is the systematic attempt by one person to erode another person’s reality by telling them that what they are experiencing isn’t so — and, the gradual giving up on the part of the other person.” –Robin Stern
What is a famous quote about stopping violence?
Most people believe that freedom from emotional and physical abuse are basic human rights. The following quotes discuss the need to stop intimate partner abuse and physical violence:
- “If we are to fight discrimination and injustice against women we must start from the home for if a woman cannot be safe in her own house then she cannot be expected to feel safe anywhere.” –Aysha Taryam
- “Violence against women is an appalling human rights violation. But it is not inevitable. We can put a stop to this.” –Nicole Kidman
- “Violence needs to stop. All of us - men and women - need to speak up and teach our children that violence is never the solution. Together we can all make a difference. The best place to start is with yourself.” –Will Young
- “Domestic violence can be so easy for people to ignore, as it often happens without any witnesses and it is sometimes easier not to get involved. Yet, by publicly speaking out against domestic violence, together we can challenge attitudes towards violence in the home and show that domestic violence is a crime and not merely unacceptable.” –Honor Blackman
- “Victims of domestic violence need assistance and deserve justice. I commend the crime unit’s efforts to put offenders behind bars and reach out to victims.” –Bob Riley
- “Sexual assault and domestic violence are difficult things to talk about. Talk about them anyway.” –Mariska Hargitay
What is a quote about not using violence?
Here are some famous quotes about the power of nonviolence:
- “Nonviolence is a powerful and just weapon, which cuts without wounding and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals.” –Martin Luther King, Jr.
- “Consciously or unconsciously, every one of us does render some service or other. If we cultivate the habit of doing this service deliberately, our desire for service will steadily grow stronger, and will make, not only for our own happiness, but that of the world at large.” –Mahatma Gandhi
What is a famous quote about harm?
Here are some famous quotes about harm:
- “If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them.” –Dalai Lama XIV
- “Strength isn’t measured by the ability to cause harm.” –Nina Varela, Iron Heart
- “All mankind... being all equal and independent, no one ought to harm another in his life, health, liberty or possessions.” –John Locke
What are toxic relationship quotes?
Here are a few quotes about toxic relationships:
- “Don’t confuse “familiar” with “acceptable”. Toxic relationships can fool you like that.” –Steve Maraboli
- “His bacteria seeps through unknowingly like the dirt that clogs a pore.” –Vanessa de Largie, Don't Hit Me!
- “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone” –Robin Williams
- “Domestic violence is not physical violence alone, it can be verbal. This case of violence can happen to anyone regardless of age and gender. Many people who experience domestic violence don’t even realize that they are in an abusive relationship.” –Zisilia Alvsa
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