Why Do My Parents Hate Me And What Can I Do?
Ever wonder, "Why do my parents hate me?" No matter how magical the childhood, there comes a point when we feel our parents are treating us like strangers. That's because, essentially, we are. We are slowly putting away our childhood pastimes, exchanging make-believe for reality. We are developing our own social circles, our own tastes in music, our own fashion sense, and our own favorite celebrities.
The Honest Connection
The wonderful world you are entering often leaves your parents behind. This is true generationally, with some seventy-year-old parents still struggling to understand their fifty-year-old children, whose lifestyle and belief system has become alien to them.
Try sharing some parts of your new life with them. They might not like all your music, but there may still be some common ground. One young man who had taken an interest in Irish ballads and listened to them with his friends, thought to introduce his discovery to his parents. A renewed bond developed between them as they began exploring other aspects of their heritage and attending cultural events.
When You Look so Different
Face it. Your haircut, your clothing and your choice in body décor is making a statement. You are telling the world what group of youth you identify with, and if that identity is countercultural, your parents will be every bit as alarmed as parents were in the 1950's when their sons wore black leather jackets and rode motorcycles, or their daughters wore bikini's to the beach. Their purpose is to protect you. They've probably forgotten their own rebellious days, or, if they remember, are afraid rebellion will lead you to make some of the same mistakes they had made.
What seems radical today won't necessarily seem radical tomorrow. Nobody today thinks twice about young men on motorcycles or bikini clad girls at beaches. Tattoos, once viewed very conservatively, are as abundant a part of body decoration as jewelry. Neon-streaked hair is fashionable, where once it was reserved for punk rockers. A night of home movies that depict the radicalism of their own era might help your parents remember that what often begins as a fad or trend becomes the norm in a later era.
Why Do My Parents Hate Me? They Punish Me for Everything
Parents are taught to place boundaries on children. It's part of their sense of responsibility for your general development and social awareness. They want you to understand there are rules both outside and inside the home, and that breaking them leads to direct consequences.
It's normal for parents to reprimand their children for not obeying rules meant to keep them safe or that are meant to promote the social well-being of the child, by grounding them, taking away favorite video games, or limiting cell-phone privileges. Some parents give their children extra chores as punishment, corner them with an hour long lecture, or send them to a relative or counselor for the "hard talk".
You and your parents are going through an emotional battle as you find your body goes through chemical changes and your mind evolves in ways you were never prepared for and never expected. It's hard for your parents to watch you become a mature adult, and they are filled with anxieties and misgivings. Why do my parents hate me? They don't. Anytime you see the communications pathways open, take advantage of it. Share some of what you are learning and the future you see growing in front of you.
If you ever need to talk to someone else about your life or about what you think, and want an outside opinion, don't hesitate to contact a licensed online therapist here at BetterHelp. At some point, you might need someone else to talk to. Now, there is always help standing by.