How to keep a long-term friendship: 5 tips for lasting relationships

Humans are considered social creatures capable of forging strong emotional bonds—both romantic and platonic. Social connections, including friendships, can be a source of connection, adventure, and support during challenging times. They may also offer mental and physical health benefits. However, friendships, may not always be easy to maintain. According to a survey by the Survey Center on American Life, 47% of Americans state they have lost contact with a few friends over the last year. Diverging life paths, conflicting schedules, and other obstacles may make it challenging to maintain long-lasting connections. Below, we’ll discuss five tips for developing and sustaining lasting friendships. 

The benefits of friendship

Before we explore how to start and maintain a friendship, it may be worth considering why friendship is valuable. Whether it’s a close friendship or a more casual one, a platonic relationship can be both enjoyable and fulfilling. 

This adds to a growing body of research on the potential benefits of social bonds for physical and mental health. 

You may be wondering how one goes about starting this type of positive social relationship and sustaining it in the long run. We’ll explore these topics further in the following sections. 

Starting a long-term friendship

Forging a strong foundation may be key to building a long-term friendship. Starting a new friendship, much like starting a new romantic relationship, may take time and patience. Some may find that making a new friend, particularly in adulthood, can be challenging since work and family responsibilities may make it harder to spend time with a new acquaintance.  

However, there are a variety of strategies that may make it easier to connect with potential friends. Those who are interested in forging new friendships may benefit from looking for opportunities to socialize with others through clubs, sports groups, volunteer groups, or other meetups. Workplaces, colleges, community centers, and other gathering places may also provide a chance to connect with new people, engage in conversation, and begin developing platonic relationships. 

When starting a friendship that you hope will last, you may find it helpful to be authentic and honest in your actions and conversations. Additionally, a willingness to open up to the other person, participate in shared activities, and offer support when needed may also help jump-start a potential friendship. 

How to keep a long-term friendship

Whether you’ve recently made a new friend or you’re interested in strengthening an existing friendship, the following tips may be valuable for maintaining a healthy dynamic:

1. Practice healthy communication: Practicing healthy communication habits can be an important part of sustaining healthy friendships. It may be helpful to be honest, actively listen during conversations, ask questions, and consider the impact of your words. These strategies may make it easier to communicate your needs and resolve any conflicts that may arise. 
2. Prioritize spending time together: Those with busy schedules may be afraid that they won’t be able to spend enough time with their friends to maintain the relationship. However, time together doesn’t necessarily have to be in person. Phone calls, video calls, and text messages can all be valid ways of interacting with friends and fostering connections. 
3. Remember why you’re friends: When life takes people in different directions, it may be easy to forget to nurture the friendship. By keeping the reason for your friendship in mind, you may find additional motivation to keep it going.  
4. Practice authenticity: Authenticity might be considered the backbone of a lasting friendship. As your friendships develop, it can be important to ensure you’re presenting the most authentic version of yourself. Doing so may allow you to foster a greater sense of openness, empathy, and trust. 
5. Acknowledge that you may change: On the other hand, it may also be worth remembering that in long-term friendships, one or both parties may change or evolve. By staying in touch and allowing room for growth, you may be able to keep the friendship going even as your lives unfold.

Finding support

Depending on the individual and the situation, forging and maintaining long-lasting friendships may not always be easy. Factors like conflict, scheduling issues, and mental health challenges may all present obstacles. If you find yourself in need of additional support, either on your journey to making friends or in navigating a challenge in an existing friendship, you may find therapy to be a helpful resource. A licensed counselor may be able to provide a safe space to discuss your emotions while offering suggestions for improving communication and navigating the ups and downs of friendship. 

If you don’t have time for traditional in-office therapy at this time, you may benefit from online therapy, which allows you to communicate with a therapist from home or anywhere you have an internet connection. Online therapy also tends to be more affordable than in-person therapy without insurance. 

Numerous studies have demonstrated the effectiveness of online therapy. One study published in 2017 found that online cognitive behavioral therapy was not only effective in terms of results but also cost-effective. Online therapy tends to be more affordable than traditional therapy without insurance.