Ways To Cope With Emotional Pain

Life can often feel like a constant balancing act between highs and lows. For many of us, physical or mental pain can be inevitable, but it may be the way we respond to and manage that pain that can help us continue to thrive. Engaging in healthy distractions, making peace with your pain, and reaching out for help from your support system can all be beneficial. You may also find it helpful to work with a licensed therapist who can aid you in finding the coping strategies that work best for you.

Human psychology has a tendency to lend extra weight to the lowest of lows, which can make it easy to feel like the scale is always tipping in favor of the harshest aspects of life. For many, learning to acknowledge and cope with pain can be a life-long journey. Of course, that’s often easier said than done. Many researchers believe that we hold onto our painful or traumatic memories as part of our mental defense mechanisms. In other words, these memories might function as a survival tool against an uncertain future, a reminder of what to be prepared for.

However, in the short term, those memories and experiences often feel more like a burden than a benefit. Learning that our painful life experiences are often something we can have some control over may be a skill that is vital to maintaining strong mental health. Here, we’ll look at why mental pain can trick us into feeling it’s inevitable, how to address those feelings, and how to find the help you need.

Emotional pain can be just as bad as physical pain

Even as our society moves toward accepting the legitimacy of mental anguish, there may still be elements of society that might claim that mental health conditions aren’t “real” in the same way a physical injury is “real”. However, recent studies show that emotional pain can be as painful or even more painful than physical pain.

It can be important to remind others (and ourselves) that just because something is “in your head” doesn’t mean it’s fake or unimportant.

In addition, there can be a wealth of evidence regarding the physical side effects of mental health conditions. Our mental health and emotions tend to emerge as physical symptoms. For example, research has proven broken heart syndrome to be a real and very serious condition created by acute grief, stress, or fear that can weaken the strength of the patient’s heart muscle. 

Similarly, neuroscientists have discovered significant overlaps in how our brains respond to both emotional and physical pain, meaning that, in some ways, they may be much more closely related than many people believe. 

Anyone coping with serious physical pain, maybe due to an injury or chronic condition, will likely need to manage their mental health recovery, even as they improve their physical condition. 

Finding your coping mechanisms

There may not be a catch-all solution to coping with pain, but there may be many options to try. Here are some coping mechanisms you may try during the times when the pain feels like it’s too much:

Make peace with your pain

Find healthy distractions

For some people, the best short-term answer to coping with pain may be distraction. It can be incredibly therapeutic to completely lose yourself in something—a book, a song, an activity, or an exercise, to name a few—that can take you away from your problems, even just for a little while. That minor distancing effect can create the sense of clarity and motivation needed to work against your pain. However, it can be important to underline the difference between healthy and unhealthy distractions. Some may feel pulled towards various forms of self-medication, which tend to create more long-term problems. Still, there is generally no shortage of healthy distractions in the world, so we encourage you to find the one that works best for you!

Ask for help

Last but far from least, it can be important to acknowledge that no one should have to deal with their pain alone. For people experiencing emotional pain, it may feel better to hide your feelings from others with a smile or a joke, but that type of avoidance may only cause problems to fester beneath the surface. If you feel like you can’t continue bearing your pain alone, please consider turning to friends or family for guidance—and if you are ready, there is no shame in seeking out help from a therapist.

Seeking professional help

Whether you’re coping with the pain of a physical injury, the loss of a loved one, or a breakup, there may be many therapists who are trained and willing to help you find the strategies that work for you. If in-person therapy seems too difficult to manage, online therapy sessions with a licensed mental health professional can help through cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness practices, and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). Online therapy is often more convenient and affordable than traditional in-office therapy. Please don’t hesitate to reach out and get the help you deserve.