Does Life Feel Like An Emotional Roller Coaster?
Elated one minute, sad the next: sometimes, life can feel like an emotional roller coaster. This whirlwind of feelings can leave you feeling confused and emotionally exhausted and getting off may seem like an impossible task.
When your feelings seem out of control, it can be challenging to determine how to cope. If you find yourself experiencing constant ups and downs in your mood, it may be helpful to consider a few of the ideas below to try to identify why you might be feeling this way, and how you might find more balance, stability, and serenity in your life.
What might be causing your emotional roller coaster?
It may be helpful to first try to identify the source of your tumultuous feelings - although this task can sometimes be easier said than done. Perhaps you are in a volatile situation that causes you emotional pain, so your emotions might be intense and quickly change. Or, perhaps you are feeling overwhelmed or emotionally confused because you don’t know what will happen next.
If you can pinpoint a source for your emotional ups and downs, you might find that it becomes clearer how you might tackle them and find some peace.
Managing tumultuous emotions
When you’re on an emotional roller coaster, learning to manage and deal with those emotions can be a useful but challenging step. Regardless of the possible reason for your roller coaster, you might try some of the following tips to manage some of these tumultuous emotions and calm your mind.
Experience, recognize, and accept your emotions
One of the ways to cope with your emotional roller coaster is to allow yourself to experience your emotions. Hiding from or denying your feelings may not be very beneficial in the long run. Instead, try to give yourself a few moments to sit with your current emotion and allow yourself to feel it before you try to do anything about it.
Noticing that you have intense and changing emotions might be clear, but it isn’t always as simple to recognize precisely what emotion you’re having. For instance, you might think you’re experiencing frustration that your partner is coming home late, but later realize that it was worry you were feeling. You can sometimes discover more about your feelings by journaling and then considering whether the words you’ve written indicate the emotion you first thought you had.
Finally, it can also be important to accept your emotions. You don’t have to let them take over your life, and you don’t even have to like your feelings—but you might try accepting that, right now, this is the way you feel. Then, you can decide what to do next. This process might help the emotional roller coaster seem less overwhelming and deter some of the negative thoughts that accompany overwhelming emotions.
Express your emotions appropriately
Expressing your feelings appropriately may also help you come to terms with them. Appropriate ways to express emotions might include:
- Creating art
- Playing music
- Dancing
- Writing and journaling
- Exercising
- Cooking
- Talking about them with someone you trust
While using these or similar appropriate approaches may be beneficial, expressing emotions in inappropriate ways may cause practical and relationship problems, or may keep the roller coaster going by creating situations that are more distressing. Try to determine appropriate forms of expression that work best for you in order to get off an unwelcome coaster ride.
Work on your emotions through thoughts and actions
While emotions may be hard to shift or control, our thoughts and actions can also affect how we feel. Below are a few approaches to try to find more stability through thoughts and actions:
Look at the bigger picture
The bigger picture may give you more perspective on your problems and successes. When you can see it, you might be more able to recognize that what is happening for you is neither the best nor the worst possible outcome, allowing you to step off the emotional roller coaster. Most challenges happen for a short amount of time, so keeping that in mind can help put things in perspective.
Engage in positive self-talk
Our opinions of ourselves can have a strong effect on how we feel. For example, suppose you failed a test. Telling yourself that it was because you’re not smart could lead to feeling sad or hopeless about the situation, as well as down on yourself. However, if you say to yourself that it was because you didn’t prepare for the test as much as you could have, rather than feeling sad, you might be motivated to try harder next time.
Practice forgiveness
Forgiving ourselves and others may allow us to feel calmer and more in control. If you find yourself ruminating about how someone has hurt you or blaming yourself for a mistake you might have made, you’re not alone. Many people engage in this kind of behavior. If you can learn to forgive, though, you may be able to release some of the pain and return to a more stable emotional state.
Practice mindfulness
You may experience a lot of emotions and sensations on a day-to-day basis and possibly get caught up in what’s happened in the past or worries that may never come true. Practicing mindfulness can mean bringing full awareness to the sensations you’re feeling in the present moment. By keeping your thoughts focused on the present moment, you may find that you are less likely to dwell on past hurts or obsess over future fears. This practice can be a helpful way to become calmer and more emotionally centered.
Build healthy relationships
Cultivating healthy relationships may help you cope with the emotional roller coaster, or even avoid emotional spikes if you find that unhealthy relationships have been a source of tumult in your life. When you have healthy relationships, you can receive love, care, and emotional support from those around you, which may help you find some stability throughout the ups and downs. A healthy relationship often has a way of making you feel more calm and at peace and may provide a safe place to discuss your difficulties.
Take care of your physical well-being
Taking care of your body may help you have a more peaceful mind. If you are on an emotional roller coaster, you might try ensuring that you are sleeping enough, eating nutritious food, and exercising regularly. These actions may make you feel better physically, while also enhancing your emotional well-being.
The emotional roller coaster and mental illness
Experiencing extreme emotional highs and lows can be associated with certain types of mental illness. If you are concerned that your emotional ups and downs may be associated with a mental health condition, you might consider seeking help from a qualified therapist.
Bipolar disorder
The American Psychological Association (APA) defines bipolar disorder as “a serious mental illness in which common emotions become intensely and often unpredictably magnified.” People with bipolar disorder can experience a lot of quickly changing and intense emotions, swinging from extreme happiness and high energy to extreme sadness and fatigue.
The National Institute of Mental Health details some symptoms of manic and depressive episodes experienced in bipolar disorder. Some symptoms of a manic episode can include:
- Feeling jumpy or wired
- Needing little sleep
- Having little or no appetite
- Talking rapidly about many different things
- Having racing thoughts
- Thinking you can do many things at once
Some of the symptoms of a depressive episode can include:
- Feeling slowed down
- Having trouble sleeping or sleeping too much
- Experiencing increased appetite and weight gain
- Talking slowly and being forgetful
- Having trouble concentrating or making decisions
- Feeling hopeless and worthless
Borderline personality disorder
Borderline personality disorder is characterized by difficulties managing emotion and, as noted by the APA, a “long-standing pattern of instability in mood, interpersonal relationships, and self-image.”
Another characteristic of borderline personality disorder can include instability in impulse control. For individuals living with borderline personality disorder, it can be harder to return to a stable baseline after experiencing an emotional stressor.
Finding relief through therapy
If you are feeling like you’re on an emotional roller coaster, know that there is help available. Depending on your situation, needs, and preferences, you might consider therapy, either in-person or online.
Being on an emotional roller coaster can be exhausting, so for some individuals, online therapy might feel a little more convenient. With online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp, you can speak with a licensed therapist from the comfort of your own home, without having to deal with transportation. A counselor may use different techniques to help you experience, identify, and express your emotions, and they can offer support as you learn to manage your feelings. Thousands of providers are available on the platform, so you can find a therapist whom you feel comfortable opening up to and who can help you finally get off your emotional roller coaster ride.
There may be many different reasons for feeling like you are on an emotional roller coaster, whether it is connected to a recent event in your life, an unhealthy relationship, a mental illness, or something else entirely. For a variety of concerns, research has shown online therapy to be just as effective as in-person sessions.
Takeaway
Why does my relationship feel like an emotional rollercoaster?
Your relationship might feel like an emotional rollercoaster for several different reasons. Your relationship might be experiencing an unusually high amount of stress or strain. For example, evidence indicates that financial stressors can significantly increase volatility in relationship satisfaction, which may feel like the relationship is constantly moving from a happy place to a stressed one. You and your partner may also have different communication or attachment styles, which can sometimes create additional barriers when trying to address problems within the relationship. If you’re concerned about relationship volatility, it may be helpful to work with a couples counselor to help identify and correct the root cause.
How to get off an emotional roller coaster?
Many strategies are available to help you manage emotional fluctuations. Some of the more common are listed below:
- Create a foundation of basic self-care. Emotional stability correlates with overall mental well-being. One of the most effective ways to bolster mental health is by adhering to basic tenets of self-care.
- Journal about your emotions. Writing about your feelings can help you find insight into what causes your emotional instability. It may also be useful as you search for ways to manage your feelings better.
- Learn basic coping strategies. Deep breathing exercises, relaxation techniques, and mindfulness practices may help you increase emotional resilience, making you more resistant to emotional shifts.
- Seek professional help. Sometimes, it can be difficult to understand what causes emotional instability. It is likely worthwhile to work with a therapist or other mental health professional to help identify the root cause of your intense emotions.
Why am I always on an emotional rollercoaster?
It may be helpful to work with a mental health professional to figure out why your emotions are volatile. Life stressors, mental health conditions, and some health problems can all cause an increase in emotional instability, and it is sometimes challenging to identify the root cause. A therapist can help you examine your emotions in a productive way, suggest strategies for managing them, and provide referrals to other professionals if necessary.
What is the emotional rollercoaster disorder?
When discussing emotional ups and downs, many people point to bipolar disorder as an example of emotional volatility. Bipolar disorder is characterized by unusual shifts in a person’s mood, energy, activity levels, and concentration. A person may be happy and upbeat one day, only to be morose and lethargic the next. Other conditions can also cause trouble with emotional regulation. Notably, ADHD and borderline personality disorder are both associated with mood swings and difficulty regulating emotions, but the shifts in emotion often happen faster and are less pronounced than what may be seen in bipolar disorder.
Why do I show too much emotion?
You might show too much emotion because you are an emotional person by nature, or you might struggle to mask your true feelings. It may be worthwhile to bolster your emotional intelligence, which may make it easier to control your emotions long-term. Emotional intelligence consists of self-awareness, social awareness, social skills, and self-regulation. Taking time to engage in activities that boost those areas may make it easier to show only the amount of emotion you would like those around you to see.
Why do I hold all my feelings in?
There are many reasons why you may hold feelings in, one of the most common being that you are uncomfortable with emotional expression. You may have been raised in an environment that did not prioritize emotional conversation, or you may have been actively discouraged from doing so. Because emotional expression is rooted in childhood and based on skills modeled and taught by parents and caregivers, growing up in an environment of low emotional expression may have left you without the skills to easily express your feelings. You may have also not gotten the desired response when expressing your feelings to others and may not have many people you consider safe enough to express yourself to. Emotional communication requires vulnerability, and it may be worthwhile to consider how many people in your support network you feel you can be truly vulnerable around.
Why do I cry so easily?
Crying does not equate to weakness and is vital in the self-soothing process. If you cry easily, it may be that you see crying as a critical part of processing and recovering from challenging emotions. However, if you cry so much that it is causing concern for you or those around you, it may be worthwhile to work with a mental health professional to ensure that there aren’t underlying problems. It’s possible that conditions like depression or anxiety contribute to the amount you cry, and you may be experiencing more sadness or stress than you would if underlying conditions were assessed and treated.
What happens if you hold in your emotions for too long?
Emotional repression can have a significant adverse effect on your mental and physical health. Not expressing emotion may substantially increase pain and discomfort in many physical conditions. It can also increase the risk of high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, chronic fatigue, and chest pain. Mentally, repressing emotions can drastically increase stress and make it difficult to mange it adequately. It may also have social consequences, as increases in anger and irritability may significantly impact social relationships. Even in close relationships, others may not have the personal details necessary to deduce how a person feels, making it difficult to support them adequately.
How do you stop expressing emotions?
Most experts do not recommend stopping emotional expression completely. Rather, many suggest learning how to express emotions in a healthy way as an alternative to emotional repression. If you’re uncomfortable expressing emotions, you may want to consider why that is and whether you have trusted individuals in your support network. It’s often helpful to have people you can be vulnerable around, and it is typically worthwhile to risk vulnerability to express emotions and receive support. However, if you feel you express your emotions too frequently or intensely, you might consider working with a therapist or other mental health professional to identify the cause of your intense emotions and learn evidence-based regulation skills.
What happens if you ignore your emotions?
Ignoring your emotions may cause significant physical and mental health problems. Evidence suggests that ignoring and repressing emotions may increase the risk of high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, and chronic fatigue. It may also lead to drastically increased stress levels and reduce your ability to engage in healthy social relationships. Generally, experts recommend that people learn how to manage their feelings in a healthy way and cultivate a group of trusted individuals who will greet their feelings with understanding and empathy.
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