How To Stop Feeling Like You Want To Run Away

Chronic stress and the desire to run away 

For many people, the pressures of daily life can build up to the point that escaping and starting a new life seems like an attractive idea. Job and career responsibilities are common causes of this feeling. In 2022, the American Psychological Association reported that work-related burnout was on the rise, with close to three out of five Americans experiencing the negative psychological consequences of work stress. Other potential sources of burnout include:

• Parental responsibility
• Caring for a sick relative or spouse
• Leadership duties in political or non-profit organizations
• Financial worries
• Academic pressure
• Immigration processes
• Feeling responsible for another person's emotions

If you find yourself fantasizing about running away from your responsibilities or frequently thinking to yourself, "I don't want to do anything", you might be experiencing mental burnout.

Coping with chronic stress

There are many solutions for burnout or the desire to escape stress. One helpful first step may be to remind yourself of the reasons you took on these responsibilities. 

By focusing on the values that led you to this situation, such as pursuing excellence, supporting your family, caring for others, or making a positive difference in the world, you may feel better about your challenges. This technique is known as self-affirmation, and studies have found that it can reduce job-related stress and improve emotional regulation.

You may also find it helpful to reconnect with areas of your life that matter most to you outside of your obligations. That might mean setting aside time for hobbies, visiting friends, or relaxing. If possible, taking a short vacation may also help you mentally recharge. Finding these small "escapes" could reduce your desire for a significant, more dramatic one.

Taking up a new creative practice could also help. Though this might sound like it would only add to your to-do list, it might feel liberating to have an activity you're doing purely because you want to. Research indicates that artistic tasks are particularly beneficial for stress reduction.

Current events and the desire to run away 

Personal difficulties may not be the only cause of a flight response. It's also possible to feel stressed by world events, worrying trends, and distressing news. For example, a 2021 study reported that the more news about the COVID-19 pandemic people consumed, the more likely they were to feel emotional distress.  Feeling troubled about the state of the world might make you wish you could hide or escape the news.  

Coping with current events

When taking in a stream of negative content gives you the urge to run, avoiding the news may be a better strategy than avoiding everything in your life. Psychologists who have studied the effects of consuming distressing information have concluded that reducing your media intake can limit its mental health impact. 

It might also be valuable to set aside a specific time each day to look at the news and avoid checking it outside of that window. Consider taking breaks from using technology for a few days of the week if you find that any exposure to it ruins your day or week.  

Research points to spending time outdoors as another effective coping strategy. It can help you feel a connection to the world around you that may have nothing to do with the crises you hear about on the news.

Avoidant attachment and the flight response 

If you have the urge to run from your relationships when conflict occurs, you might be experiencing an avoidant attachment style. Getting "cold feet" in a romantic relationship may seem like a Hollywood trope, but it can occur. Do your feelings of wanting to run away seem to pop up whenever you're starting to experience more emotional intimacy with someone close to you?

Overcoming avoidant attachment

Overcoming deep-seated avoidant tendencies may require you to deliberately build the habit of placing trust in others. It may be helpful to take minor steps toward this goal, such as talking about vulnerable facts about yourself with your partner they don't know or expressing your emotions rather than repressing them.

Journaling might help, too. Expressing your feelings in your journal can make the idea of sharing them with others less intimidating. Research has identified many psychological benefits of expressive journaling, including increased optimism and an improved ability to process emotions.

Studies have also found that attachment styles can be changed with education, therapy, and a willingness to examine your unhealthy habits. According to the research, a secure attachment style can be possible for those who haven't experienced it before. 

Anxiety or depression and the desire to run 

The impulse to flee could also be linked to a mental health condition. Chronic anxiety, in particular, often involves a feeling that you're under threat and need to escape. This urge could be related to higher baseline activity levels in the sympathetic nervous system. Many people with anxiety disorders have an oversensitive "fight or flight" reflex that can be more easily incited daily. 

Some researchers think that depression may also be linked to feelings of being trapped. Some studies suggest that experiencing a desire to escape a situation or emotion but being unable to get away can provoke feelings of helplessness that lead to depressive symptoms. 

Managing anxiety and depression

Clinical research on depression and anxiety has identified certain healthy life habits that appear to reduce symptoms of both, including the following: 

• Exercise: Regular aerobic activity could provide a constructive outlet for your desire to run while decreasing your feelings of anxiety and depression.
• Sleep: Sleep hygiene habits like avoiding screen time in bed may help you get better rest and improve your mental health.
• Meditation: Taking ten to 20 minutes daily to focus on your breath and observe your thoughts without judgment can help you feel more stable.

In addition to these types of self-help strategies, therapy with the guidance of a mental health professional can be a powerful tool for addressing anxiety and depression. There's substantial scientific evidence for the effectiveness of methods like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). 

If your desire to get away from your difficulties is prompting suicidal thoughts, talk to someone right away. You can call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or text 988 to talk to a crisis provider over SMS. They are available 24/7 to offer support. 988 also offers an online chat for those with an internet connection. 

Is running away the right course of action in any scenario? 

Feeling the need to run away may not be irrational in every situation. Walking away and separating may be the best course of action in some situations. For example:

• If your employer is asking you to engage in illegal or unethical behavior
• If the place you're living is unsafe due to faulty construction, environmental contaminants, or other hazards
• If you're in a physically, emotionally, or financially abusive relationship
• If you're in an unsafe location 
• If you need to flee a country for your safety 

Many methods described above, such as journaling, meditation, and therapy, may help clarify your situation. These techniques could also enable you to decide whether getting away is the most appropriate response. 

If you are facing or witnessing abuse of any kind, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 for support. Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text "START" to 88788. You can also use the online chat. 

Counseling options 

Regardless of the cause of your urge to run, psychotherapy may offer you the skills to process the emotions behind your urges and the healthy behaviors to cope with them. However, if you're already overwhelmed, locating a mental health provider and attending therapy may feel like another task to add to your stress.

In this situation, engaging in therapy over the internet might make the process easier. Finding the right therapist may be simpler online since you don't have to limit your search to your immediate area. Additionally, attending sessions remotely allows you to talk to a professional from a comfortable and familiar space, reducing psychological barriers to attendance.

Studies on the practice of online therapy show that it can be effective. According to a meta-analysis published in 2008, internet-enabled therapies were as effective as in-person methods for various mental health conditions. The authors concluded that there was "strong support" for the benefits of online psychotherapy. If you're interested in getting started, you can sign up with a platform like BetterHelp to get matched with one of over 30,000 licensed therapists specializing in various areas of mental healthcare.