What To Do When Someone Hurts Your Feelings
By Danni Peck
Updated December 06, 2018
Reviewer Martha Furman, LPC, CAC
When someone hurts your feelings, what do you do? Cry? Get defensive? Retaliate? How does your typical reaction usually make you feel?
If you said something along the lines of "bad" or "not good", you should know that there are things you can do to feel better in this situation. These tips can be especially helpful if someone puts you down a lot or if you've been told that you're a very sensitive person.
What to Do When Someone Hurts Your Feelings
- Have an Honest Conversation
One of the best things that you can do when someone hurts your feelings is just tell them. You don't need to be confrontational or make a scene, just let them know what they said or did and how it made you feel.
This conversation can go one of two ways, really. Either the person is a bully and won't care that they hurt your feelings or they had no idea that they hurt your feelings in the first place. If it's the second situation, you may get an apology and stop that person from doing the same thing again to you or someone else.
If the person is just mean and doesn't care, that tells you a lot about them. Chances are that they are having some problems in their life and are taking it out on people around them, so try not to take it personally.
- Journal About It
Journaling is another potential form of release if you don't want to start a conversation with the person about what happened. Writing about the situation, putting your thoughts and your feelings down on paper will help you process things so you can move on.
Having a journal that no one else reads is great because you can really bear your soul on paper. This allows you to release things that you may have been holding on to for a while and can make you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
If people hurt your feelings often or you are feeling a lot of mixed emotions, keeping track of how you feel in a journal can help you notice any patterns or triggers that you can spot to avoid these situations.
- See a Counselor
A counselor can give you someone sympathetic to talk to and give you advice on how to proceed when your feelings have been hurt. Experienced professionals can help you build confidence and learn coping skills so that these situations don't bring you down like they are now.
If you are reluctant to reach out to a counsellor in your community about this problem, there are other options. Services like BetterHelp now offer affordable online counselling with flexible options so you can find help and support that suits your individual needs.
When your feelings are hurt, it can be hard to shrug it off sometimes. You replay the situation over and over in your head, essentially making it worse. You feel a range of emotions, from sadness and anger to confusion. But there are things you can do to move on and take back your power.
The best thing you can do is calmly speak up for yourself and make sure the person who hurt your feelings is aware of what they did. If you are uncomfortable doing that, talking about it with a loved one or journaling are some other options. If this is a recurring thing that's affecting your life, don't be afraid to ask for support from friends, family, or a counselor.