The pain of missing a loved one can be so all-consuming that it seems those feelings will never subside. Whether you have lost a parent, spouse, child, friend, pet, or someone else who was special to you, feelings of missing someone are much more intense shortly after you've lost them. You'll probably never stop missing them completely, but it's important to recognize that the intensity of your feelings will subside and change over time. You can do things to help ease your loss and memorialize someone special while you grieve. Understanding the stages of loss and the grieving process is one of the most important parts of healing.
Grief Happens In Stages
Grief happens in five recognizable stages. The stages are:
The stages don't necessarily happen in this order, and some of them can occur at the same time. There's no way to know how long any of the stages will last because grief looks different for each person. You can expect to go through each step in some fashion. Eventually, you will get to the acceptance stage, and your grief will lessen to some degree.
Give Yourself A Time Out For Missing A Loved One
It may seem as though the rest of the world is going on with business as usual while you are stuck feeling sad. It's okay to take some time off from life for a while as you learn to cope with your loss. Permit yourself to avoid events and activities if you don't feel like going. If you don't feel up to reading sentiments of sympathy from others, put the sympathy cards out of sight until a day when you feel stronger. Stay off social media outlets for a while. Give yourself time to be sad. Allow some time in your day to do the things that give you particular enjoyment. If you find that you're spending less time with friends or family due to your sadness, you should reach out for help. Many people who have lost a loved one struggle with depression as a result. The best way to combat this is with the help of a trained counselor or therapist.
Celebrating Someone's Life Lessens The Heartache Of Missing A Loved One
When you feel ready, think about some special ways to memorialize someone that you love. Find a trusted friend who is willing to listen to you express your feelings of sadness and will offer empathy.
Do you love writing? How about starting a blog where you can express your thoughts and feelings about your heartache over missing a loved one? Others who are going through the same situation will follow you and become part of your support network. If you don't want to make your feelings public, you can start a journal on your computer or write your sentiments in a diary. Either way, writing gives voice to your feelings and all the special memories that you have for your loved one.
Many families memorialize their loved ones with a Celebration of Life ceremony rather than a wake or funeral. This type of event may include photos, a video, or a slideshow that depicts the cherished memories of the person's life. It's also time for sharing stories to last for generations.
Focus On You While You Grieve
One final key to lessening the heartache of missing a loved one is to focus on yourself. That may seem contradictory. After all, aren't you supposed to be focused on the one you loved who is no longer here? Of course, you will focus your thoughts and feelings on them at the time, but one of the best ways to make sure you are doing this in a healthy way is to embrace self-care.
Eat healthy foods and snacks, get lots of rest (nap, nap, nap), exercise, talk about your feelings, and laugh when you can. You can paint, spend time with friends, go out to eat. Whatever is healthy and not self-destructive but also helps you move past the pain.
The most important thing to understand about heartache is that missing someone special is not an event but a process. The intensity is temporary, and everyone eventually finds their way through it.
Take time for yourself. No matter how much you are tempted to neglect yourself, don't. Set time aside each day to dedicate to taking care of yourself and your mental health.
Seeking Help
Grief counselors can be instrumental in helping you understand the stages of grief and which stage you are in. Online therapy is emerging as a well-studied comparable alternative to traditional face-to-face counseling sessions. This study, conducted by Brigham Young University researchers, found that technology-based therapy was as successful as in-person sessions and offers other added benefits including “lower cost, no travel time, easy access, no waitlists, and trackable progress.”
BetterHelp has certified counselors standing by and ready to help you right in the comfort of your home. You can talk to your counselor however and whenever you feel most comfortable, and connect from your phone, tablet, or computer. If you are feeling overwhelmed or if your life is being extremely affected by the loss of your loved one, don't try to go through it alone. Help from a professional is your best route. Read below for some reviews of BetterHelp counselors from people experiencing similar issues.
"Jessica has provided me with a listening ear, encouraging words and tools that has helped me process my grief and loss. I truly appreciate her services and her help during this difficult time in my life.”
“Barbara was an enormous help to me during an extremely difficult time in my life. I signed up for BetterHelp for some grief counseling but ended up learning so much more about myself. Barbara helped me tackle various stages of my grief, listening, and providing excellent articles and other resources that she thought could help me (and they did). I especially appreciated her Christian outlook, as I am strong with my faith and was looking for a therapist who would understand. I’m very grateful for her time and expertise and admire her compassion for others.”
https://www.betterhelp.com/barbara-kass/
Conclusion
Getting through the loss of a loved one is a process. If you need to reach out for extra help, there is no shame in that. With some love and care, you can and will get through this. Take the first step.