How To Be More Thoughtful Toward Others Through Self-Awareness

Medically reviewed by Arianna Williams, LPC, CCTP and Dr. April Brewer, DBH, LPC
Updated January 27th, 2026 by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Self-awareness is the ability to be cognizant of your habits, thoughts, and emotions, as well as how others may see you. Many of us may not always see ourselves clearly, and we may not always notice the things we do that may bother others. However, you can take steps to become more aware of how your actions may impact others and treat others more thoughtfully through cultivating self-awareness. In this article, we'll explore three ways to do this and why it can be beneficial to work with a licensed therapist. 

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Using self-awareness to be more thoughtful 

Self-awareness is often important for nearly any kind of self-improvement. To address our behaviors, it is often important to become aware of them first.

Here are some ways to become more thoughtful toward others using self-awareness: 

Ask others for feedback

Developing self-awareness doesn't have to be something you do on your own. You can enroll friends, family, and co-workers to help you become more self-aware. This can be especially helpful if you don't know what you are doing that may be bothering others. Some things you can try include: 

  • Because discussions about one's shortcomings can be tense, you could request anonymous feedback if that feels more comfortable. 
  • Ask a couple of people directly for their feedback. Before you begin, remind them to give critiques only on features you have control over, and you can even request that they offer a suggested solution if possible. 
  • Ask them to identify the positive attributes they see in you to get a more balanced view of how others perceive you.

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Pay attention to your interactions

In addition to asking others for their feedback, you can also pay attention to any unspoken feedback people may give during your interactions. If you pay close attention, you may be able to pick up on certain things through their body language and speaking patterns. For example:

  • If they seem unusually curt or frustrated in a conversation, you may consider whether there was something you could have said or done that could have prompted that shift. 
  • If they are fidgeting more than usual or avoiding eye contact, you may consider if you are talking to them at a bad time. 
  • If they are crossing their arms, turning their back, or walking away from you, it can be that they’re getting defensive or annoyed.

Take steps to become more thoughtful

Once you've received feedback and become more aware of how people around you respond to your behaviors, you can take steps to address them, including:

  • Reminding yourself that none of us is perfect, so try to be kind to yourself. 
  • Using others' feedback as an opportunity for personal growth and stronger connections. 
  • Tackling one habit at a time and working toward becoming the kind of person you want to be.
  • Keeping in mind that you should only work on habits that seem important to you. You don't have to be who everyone else wants you to be. 

For help with cultivating self-awareness, addressing bad habits, strengthening relationships, and other concerns, you can talk to a licensed counselor for support. There can be many different dynamics at play that may impact how you treat others and how others perceive you, and research has shown that online therapy can be just as effective as in-person sessions for a range of concerns. 

Discussing how others view you and areas you want to improve on can sometimes feel very vulnerable, so it may feel easier to discuss these topics in a space where you feel most comfortable, such as your home. With online therapy, you can speak with your counselor from wherever you have an internet connection, such as the coziest part of your home.

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Takeaway

We may not always be aware of how our actions and behaviors impact others, and sometimes, we may be doing things that bother others that we would like to change. If you are aiming to be more thoughtful toward others, you can try using self-awareness to address your behaviors. For further support with cultivating self-awareness and addressing negative habits, online therapy can help.
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