How To Deal With People Who Hate You

Updated September 30, 2018

Reviewer April Brewer , DBH, LPC


As we navigate the complexities of life, it is only natural that we will develop some enemies along the way. Of course, while 'enemies' may be an extreme term, there are certain people we come across who we simply don't gel with. Whether it be through a personality clash, differences of opinion or something more malicious, it is important to find the most convenient ways to cope with such people.

Knowing how to deal with people who hate you is a necessary skill in the adult world. Such tactics should never involve violence, abuse or 'getting even', but instead, may need to redirect the focus on the complete removal of these people from your life.

Arguments and disagreements are unavoidable

It is important to understand that not everyone in the world will take a liking to you. In fact, it is much healthier to use the word dislike as opposed to hate, because hate implies that these people purposely go out of their way to make your life worse. While this may be true in rare cases, most people will simply disregard you as part of their lives, making dislike a much more accurate term.

In many aspects of life, the first step towards bettering yourself is acceptance. One thing which we should learn to accept as soon as possible is that there are very few things in this world we can control. A famous philosophical statement makes the claim that we are only in control of our own thoughts and our own actions - nothing else.

With this in mind, trying to change someone's perspective of you can be difficult, if not impossible. Humans are stubborn by nature, and attempting to 'prove' yourself to ones who dislike you can be a waste of energy. We can't tell someone else how to feel, nor should we believe we can. Even the most respected people in the world have those who dislike them.


A hatred or dislike of someone else usually stems from one of two things: insecurity or jealousy. Those who are insecure often let their emotions erupt in the form of hatred, while those who are jealous address you in the only way their ego allows them: through hostility. When we attempt to reconcile with people who hate us, we are attempting to address someone else's misplaced emotions.

The Secret Of How To Deal With People Who Hate You - Passivity

When there's someone out there who doesn't like us, we can sometimes waste hours racking our brains trying to figure out why they're not our biggest fan. In time, we come to realize this is a complete waste of our time and energy. However, at the time, it may feel like the most distressing thing in the world.

Instead, we must focus on the things which are important to us and simply disregard those who oppose us. Consuming ourselves with the reasons why someone else doesn't like us won't change the circumstances. Ask yourself: does their hatred towards me really make a difference? Providing that there isn't a legitimate reason why someone may take a dislike to us, there really is no advantage to concerning yourself with their actions. Instead, immerse yourselves in your own life and let other people deal with their issues themselves.

Of course, if someone's hatred towards you is greatly effecting your day to day life, perhaps through direct insults, targeted harassment or even violence, then it is important to address these issues. Speak with a professional advisor today on how to go about rectifying this. They can put you in contact with people who can help you, or offer you advice on how best to address your situation.

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