How To Stop Talking To Someone Who Is Bad For You
Do you know how to stop talking to someone when they do not have a positive impact on you? Maybe you started hanging out with someone in the past and have since realized that they are a bad influence on your emotional state or behaviors. This type of person will likely bring out the worst in you, and your mood generally turns more negative when you are around this person. If someone is having a problematic impact on your life, makes you feel bad about yourself when you are around them, or seems to have dishonest or unkind intentions, please note this important statement: You do not need to keep them around or talk to this person.
It is hard to decide that someone shouldn't be in your life anymore, but you deserve healthy relationships. All friendships and relationships have disagreements, but disagreements or even fights are different from consistent toxic influences. You are allowed to set boundaries for your interactions with others, even with those who have been in your life for a long time. If you want to surround yourself with people who build you up and create positive changes in your life, then it may be time to release any person (or people) who is holding you back.
Communicating The End Of A Relationship
Romantic, platonic, and family relationships can all end; unfortunately, ending a relationship is not always neat, easy, or pleasant. Healthy communication is essential to a functioning relationship, and communication is still important as you end a relationship. Identifying your own communication style will empower you to speak up and allow you to feel comfortable to leave a relationship on your terms.
The three classic forms of communication are passive, aggressive, and assertive. Keep in mind that most people will use components of all three. Here are common traits of individuals who communicate in a passive manner:
- Prioritize the needs of others before their own needs
- Are soft-spoken or quiet
- Feel unable or unwilling to express their own needs and wants
- Allow others to take advantage of them and are easily manipulated
- Lack confidence and may have low self-esteem
- Maintain poor eye contact with others (looking away or down during conversations)
Next, these are common traits of individuals who communicate in an aggressive manner:
- Use criticism, dominance, and humiliation to control conversations
- Speak very loudly or in an overbearing mannerism
- Become frustrated easily
- Are disrespectful towards others
- Will not listen to others or constantly interrupt others while they are talking
- Are unwilling to compromise or negotiate with others
Finally, here are common traits of individuals who communicate in an assertive manner:
- Advocate for themselves (express needs, wants, feelings, beliefs)
- Listen to others without interruption while conversing
- Stand up for their own or others’ beliefs or rights
- Display a confident tone while speaking
- Make and maintain good eye contact
- Are willing to compromise and negotiate with others
Although your communication style may change in different situations or with different people, it is healthy to know how you communicate. According to research, experts, and general common sense, assertiveness is the healthiest out of these three styles. If you identified with traits of passive or aggressive communication, compare those trait descriptions to the similar ones listed under the list of assertive communication traits to consider how you might adjust your communication style. Assertiveness can take time to learn and develop, but anyone is capable of forming healthy communication styles. It can also help you interact with other adults, at your job, and in your daily life.
Once you have identified the different ways that you communicate, use the channels that make you most comfortable to end the toxic relationship. Unfortunately, it may be necessary to tell a person, either in person or by message, that you do not wish to continue a relationship or have no interest in having further contact with them. If the toxic person in your life is abusive or manipulative in any way, you should be prepared to stand your ground and take additional steps to put a stop to further contact.
Block Them On Social Media
People who are bad influences can often be manipulative. They are not likely happy, and they may have a hard time engaging with people who are happy. If seeing this person makes you tempted to engage with them, or they send you messages that impact your mood, wellbeing or hurt your feelings, you should consider unfollowing or blocking them on social media. If this person has accepted the end of the relationship and isn't very active online, you might be able to let them remain simply as an online connection.
Delete Their Number
It could help to delete the number of a toxic person, so that you won't be tempted to reach out, become negatively influenced, and fall back into bad habits. If a person is affecting your life in a negative way, you need to be willing to eliminate your communication channels with that person and prevent further contact. Then, you can let in room for better, more positive relationships, or you can use the time to reflect on the process of healing or improving yourself.
Focus On yourself
In addition to handling any needed communication, it is important to focus on your own physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. Ending a difficult relationship of any kind can be stressful, and you need to look after yourself. Here are a few suggestions for easy ways regarding how to take care of yourself. Feel free to do further research on ending contact in relationships as well, if you need to.
Try Not To Be So Hard On Yourself
Show yourself the respect and gentleness that you would offer to a good friend going through a difficult time. Remind yourself that you deserve rewarding, genuine, supportive relationships, and anyone who makes you feel otherwise or hurts your feelings does not deserve to remain in your company. If you make a mistake or catch yourself backsliding, keep in mind that you are human, and mistakes are a natural part of life. Use this example as an opportunity to learn, instead of being upset with yourself.
Have Some Fun And Enjoy Yourself
Life often requires seriousness and structure, but as you look for ways to recover from ending a toxic relationship, give yourself permission to spend time on self-care and fun, either on your own or with trusted loved ones. Just as you schedule time for daily tasks and obligations, try to schedule in time to unwind and enjoy yourself. It can lift your mood and boost your confidence—a little time spent in those pursuits is absolutely time well spent.
Participate In A Hobby Or Learn A New Skill
What are some of your favorite hobbies? If you can't remember, maybe it is time for you to revisit this and get involved in a past hobby or find a new one. Beginning a new sport, learning a language, or taking up a new craft or skill are all stimulating endeavors. Learning something new can help you improve your self-confidence and mood, engage with people, meet new people, enhance your occupational skill set, or even prepare you for a new job. Do some research online to find out more about projects or activities you may enjoy. There may be a class or videos to watch.
Try To Exercise Regularly
Regular exercise offers various mental health benefits: you will feel more energized, your mood may improve, your energy levels can increase while your stress and anxiety levels may drop, your sleeping patterns may become more regular and restful, and your overall physical health will improve.
Try To Eat Healthier And Nutritious Meals
Eat well-balanced, proportioned, and regular meals. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables. Stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water. Try to decrease fast food outings or meals high in grease, sugar, or salt.
Make Quality Sleep A Priority
Try going to bed and waking up at the same time on a regular basis. Reduce your sugar and caffeine intake prior to bedtime.
Avoid Using Drugs Or Alcohol To Cope With Life
Alcohol and drugs will not fix the problem. Even a temporary numbing of pain will likely make things harder in the long run. Take an honest look at how much you drink, and if you have an issue with alcohol, think about getting help with this.
Seek Help And Support
If you are looking for a way to stop talking to someone who is bad for you, then you are not alone. Research indicates that ending toxic relationships is a common stressor for many individuals, and if you are seeking advice on how to do so, then you are already on a path toward strength and independence. Trust your instincts in recognizing a bad relationship and know that you are worthy of kindness and support. Even with trusted loved ones to help you through this painful kind of breakup, you may find that additional support is needed to keep your spirits up and your focus clear. BetterHelp is a great option for flexible, affordable, effective online therapy that can get you through ending a toxic relationship. Research shows that online therapy can be effective in different circumstances.
For example, online therapy is confidential and flexible, so you can schedule sessions when you have privacy and quiet. BetterHelp is also more affordable than in-person therapy, and you can choose how to connect with a compassionate mental health professional: via video chat, phone call, or in-app messaging. You deserve to feel valued and heard. Speaking with someone through online therapy can help. These reviews of BetterHelp counselors can tell you more about experiences in online therapy.
"Mary Smith is very thoughtful and a great listener. I can tell she has a lot of experience dealing with many situations and people, which gives me comfort. She always stays on track with my concerns and goals, and always offers relevant suggestions and tools to help me to conquer issues. I definitely recommend Mary Smith to anyone who feels stuck in their toxic ways formed by difficult past experiences, but you want to overcome. I believe Mary has the skills to help someone who really wants to change for the better."
"Stacey is absolutely the best! She is very understanding, and I feel like she not only listens to me, I feel like she understands me and always helps me to find clarity and work through my problems. I hate that it's taken me so long to write this review because I've been working with Stacey off and on for almost 2 years now, but I can guarantee you that she's definitely gotten me through some extremely hard times and is also always there to encourage me even when things are going seemingly well and helps me to appreciate the small wins! From test anxiety, to fear of failure, to past bouts of depression, to help with toxic relationships, etc., she has helped me through it all! I will forever be grateful to her for helping me regain confidence and peace in my life."
If you have reached the unfortunate realization that you need to stop talking to someone who is bad for you, then you might need additional support to end the relationship. While assertive communication is key, an online counselor may also help you to handle a painful situation. Take the first step today.
Commonly Asked Questions On This Topic Found Below:
How do you train yourself to stop talking?
When you are trying your best not to talk, there are a few things you can do. One is taking some time for yourself, where you aren’t around anyone. This can keep you from saying things when you don’t mean to. Another thing you can do is write things down instead of saying them out loud. This may also help you limit what you say.
How do you stop talking to someone without ghosting?
If you want to stop interacting with someone, you can take a moment to send them a message saying that you are taking some time off of social media and devices. Then you can block them if you need to. This way the other person will have some closure to the situation, and you will feel comfortable that you weren’t impolite when messaging them.
How do you stop talking to someone without hurting them?
Anytime you wish to stop talking with someone, you can simply explain how you don’t have any free time on your hands. You can write out a few messages to tell them this or have a conversation. If you have other activities that are keeping you busy, you can simply be honest about that.
How do I avoid talking to someone?
You shouldn’t talk to people that make you feel uncomfortable. If someone does, you don’t have to have an excuse not to talk to them. You can simply ignore messages from a person if you aren’t going to see them again, and if you are, then you can simply tell them that you need space. You may want to have a conversation about how your home, school, or work life needs more of your time and energy. Moreover, if you are not interested in them romantically and they think you are, you should be honest with them about this as well.
How do I not talk for a day?
One way to go silent for a day is to stay off of your phone. You can place it on silent and put it in a drawer where you won’t think about it. Instead, you can spend the day reading, playing video games, or doing something else you enjoy. You should make sure that you tell your friends and loved ones about your plans, however, so they aren’t worried if they can’t reach you.
How can I be silent forever?
It may be difficult to not talk for many days at a time. However, if this is something you are interested in doing, you may want to conduct research on the subject and try going a few days without speaking words at first, to determine if it is something you’d like to pursue further.
How do I just be quiet?
Once you are trying to talk less, you may find this challenging. You might need to keep space between you and friends or check out articles for research on preventing yourself from speaking. Online articles may provide an example for you to follow.
How do I shut up?
Have you noticed that you start talking, even when you don’t want to? If this is the case, you may need to start by trying to keep silent. This may also involve putting away your phone for a while and putting space between you and others. You can take the time you would have spent talking doing something else, like learning, doing research, cooking, or another activity you enjoy.