How To Stop Talking To Someone Who Is Bad For You
Updated December 03, 2019
Reviewer April Brewer , DBH, LPC
Do you need to know how to stop talking to someone? Maybe you started hanging out with someone who you now realize is a bad influence on you. This type of person will likely bring out the worst in you, and your mood generally worsens when you are around this person.
If someone is having a negative impact on your life, makes you feel bad about yourself when you are around them, or they have bad intentions, you don't need to keep them around. It's hard to decide that someone shouldn't be in your life anymore, but you deserve healthy relationships. All friendships and relationships have disagreements, but that is different from a toxic influence. If you want to surround yourself with people who build you up and create positive changes in your life, it's time to release the person (or people) who are holding you back.
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Communicating the End of a Relationship
While in many scenarios, such as abuse, simply cutting ties with that particular person may be necessary. It may also be appropriate to inform a person that you are cutting them out of your life. Furthermore, there may be situations with a roommate, classmate, or coworker in which communication with this person remains necessary.
Healthy communication is important and possible. It is important to identify your communication style, and we are here to be of assistance. The three classic forms of communication are passive, aggressive, and assertive. Keep in mind that most people will use parts of all three. Here are a couple of brief examples. Individuals who communicate in a passive manner often:
- Prioritize the needs of others before their own needs
- Are soft-spoken/quiet
- Lack assertiveness/inability to express one's own needs & wants
- Allow others to take advantage of them and are easily manipulated
- Lack confidence and may have low self-esteem
- Poor eye contact with others (looks away or down, when conversing or approaching others)
Individuals who communicate in an aggressive manner often:
- Use criticism, dominance, & humiliation to control conversations
- Speak very loudly or in an overbearing mannerism
- Become frustrated very easily
- Are disrespectful towards others
- Will not listen to others/constantly interrupts others while talking
- Are unwilling to compromise/negotiate with others
Individuals who communicate in an assertive manner often:
- Will advocate for themselves (express needs, wants, feelings, beliefs)
- Will listen and not interrupt others while conversing
- Will stand up for their or other's beliefs and/or rights
- Will display a confident tone while speaking
- Will make & maintain good eye contact
- Are willing to compromise and negotiate with others
Although your communication style may change in different situations and/or with different people, it is healthy to know how you communicate. According to research, experts, and general common sense, assertiveness is the healthiest out of these three. Assertiveness can take time to learn, grow, and develop, but everybody is capable of forming healthy communication styles.
Block them on Social Media
People who are bad influences can often be manipulative. They aren't happy, and they have a hard time with other people who are happy. If seeing this person makes you tempted to engage with them, or they start to give you a hard time, you might need to unfollow or block them on social media. If this person accepts that you can't be friends and isn't very active online, you might be able to get away with having them simply as an online connection.
Delete Their Number
It could help to delete this person's number so that you won't be tempted to reach out, become negatively influenced, and fall back into bad habits again. If this person is affecting your life in a negative way, you need to be willing to cut your ties with that person. Then, you can let in room for better, more positive relationships, or you can use the time to reflect on healing or improving yourself.
Focus on yourself
In addition to handling any needed communication, it is important to focus on yourself. Ending a difficult relationship of any kind can be stressful, and you need to look after yourself. Here are a few suggestions on how to do this.
Try not to be so hard on yourself
When life hands you lemons, then it's time to make yourself a pitcher of lemonade! There are daily challenges in life, some are good, some are bad, and others are everything in between. Try to do your best and make the best decisions. If something goes wrong, try to counter self-criticism. After all, mistakes are a natural, common, and necessary part of life.
Have some fun and enjoy yourself
Often times, life requires us to be serious and structured. When is the last time you had some real fun? That might mean some alone time, or it could be time with family and friends. The same way that you schedule time for daily tasks, try to schedule a time for yourself to unwind and enjoy yourself. This could help uplift your mood and increase your self-confidence.
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Participate in a hobby or learn a new skill
What are some of your favorite hobbies? If you can't remember, maybe it is time for you to revisit this and get involved in a past hobby or finding a new hobby, a new leisure interest, or taking up a new skill. This could help improve your self-confidence, improve your mood, engage with people, meet new people, enhance your occupational skill set, or prepare you for a new job.
Try to exercise regularly
There are various mental health benefits from exercising regularly. To name a few, you will feel more energized, it could uplift your mood, increase energy levels, reduce stress and anxiety levels, improve sleeping patterns, and improve your overall physical health.
Try to eat healthier and nutritious meals
Eat well-balanced, proportioned, and regular meals. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables. Stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water. Try to decrease fast-food outings (greasy, salty, and sugary foods & drinks).
Sleep is an important priority
Try going to bed and waking up at the same time on a regular basis. Reduce the amount of sugar and caffeine intake prior to bedtime.
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Avoid using drugs and/or alcohol to cope with life
Alcohol and drugs will not fix the problem. They will only temporarily numb the pain and likely make things even worse.
We hope that we did not overwhelm you with a million suggestions on how to pursue self-care that you have likely heard a million times before from a million different sources. Still, the fact remains that the solutions are out there and available to you.
Many of these lifestyle changes can be accomplished by some people on their own. Many other people require help to institute these changes. Everybody needs help at some point in their life, and if you are at that point, online therapy affords convenient, affordable, and well-received therapy. Below are two counselor reviews for you to look at.
"Mary Smith is very thoughtful and a great listener. I can tell she has a lot of experience dealing with many situations and people, which gives me comfort. She always stays on track with my concerns and goals, and always offers relevant suggestions and tools to help me to conquer issues. I definitely recommend Mary Smith to anyone who feels stuck in their toxic ways formed by difficult past experiences, but you want to overcome. I believe Mary has the skills to help someone who really wants to change for the better."
"Stacey is absolutely the best! She is very understanding, and I feel like she not only listens to me, I feel like she understands me and always helps me to find clarity and work through my problems. I hate that it's taken me so long to write this review because I've been working with Stacey off and on for almost 2 years now, but I can guarantee you that she's definitely gotten me through some extremely hard times and is also always there to encourage me even when things are going seemingly well and helps me to appreciate the small wins! From test anxiety, to fear of failure, to past bouts of depression, to help with toxic relationships, etc., she has helped me through it all! I will forever be grateful to her for helping me regain confidence and peace in my life."
Everybody has difficult people in their lives. Sometimes, we need to cut them out completely. While assertive communication is key, an online counselor may help you to rise above the situation. Take the first step today.