How To Get Over Your Ex-Boyfriend And Re-Discover Yourself

Updated October 05, 2018

Reviewer Alvina Acquaye

If you're wondering how to get over your ex-boyfriend and re-discover yourself, you're in the right place. Getting over an ex can be hard. The key is to work through it, so you can get him off your mind and reconnect with yourself during this new phase in your life.


Give yourself time to heal after the initial breakup, but don't allow yourself to get too consumed by it. When your heart is broken, it's easy to want to stay in bed all day. You might be feeling like you'll never find someone to love you.

Don't start believing these kinds of destructive thoughts. If you need support, counseling services are available to help you cope with your breakup. You don't have to go through this alone. Getting over an ex-boyfriend usually takes time, but there are some things you can do to jumpstart the process.

How to Get Over Your Ex-Boyfriend

  1. Work Through It

The first step to getting over your ex-boyfriend is to work through it however you need to. If you need to return all his things and get rid of things that remind you of him, do it. Talk it through with a trustworthy friend or counselor if you're struggling with your emotions during this time.

Online counseling services like BetterHelp can be a great way to get ongoing support during difficult transitions like a loss or a break-up. You are matched with a counselor who is suited to your needs and who you can message as many times as you want.


  1. Get Him Off Your Mind

Once you've taken some time to allow the pain of your breakup to subside, it's time to get your ex-boyfriend off your mind so you can start to get over him. Enlist social support from friends and family to keep you busy during this time.

Try to avoid staying at home, dwelling on how your relationship ended. Keep busy by planning to do things you love, trying a new hobby, etc. A big milestone after a breakup is when you realize that your ex-boyfriend's not on your mind as much and you can finally see yourself starting to be happy without him.


  1. Rediscover Yourself

While being in a relationship is great and all, it also involves a lot of compromising. It's possible that your ex-boyfriend didn't like some of your friends, so you haven't been hanging out with them as much. Maybe he never liked to watch the same movies and shows as you.

This is your opportunity to rediscover your interests and do things your way! Embrace this time of being single to take care of yourself before jumping right into another relationship. It can be really empowering to realize that you can make yourself happy; you don't need a boyfriend to do that.



You can choose to let your breakup tear you apart or you can choose to take it as an opportunity to grow and rediscover yourself. Getting over your ex-boyfriend might not be a quick process but it will happen. Prioritize getting closure, asking for support if you need it to heal, and trying to keep your ex off your mind.

If you're dealing with depression, anxiety, or other emotional problems after your breakup, counseling can be an effective way to treat it. Online or in-person counseling can help you gain clarity and understand your feelings. A counselor can also give you exercises to help you cope better daily.

Follow these steps and you'll be over your ex-boyfriend in no time.

Previous Article

How To Be Brave And Overcome Fear

Next Article

How To Deal With People Who Hate You
For Additional Help & Support With Your Concerns
Speak with a Licensed Counselor Today
The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.