My Heart Hurts Emotionally: How To Grow From The Pain

By: Robert Porter

Updated July 09, 2020

Medically Reviewed By: Lauren Fawley

Life is going to bring with it lots of ups and downs. Some situations are out of our control, which can make it difficult to deal with. Some of these situations leave us with hurting hearts. It could be from the loss of a relationship, the death of a loved one, or situations that didn't go exactly like we thought it would.

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Common Responses To A Hurting Heart

Each person has different strengths and weaknesses in life. This includes emotional strengths and weaknesses. It's perfectly normal for everyone to experience emotional pain from time to time in life. So, why are some people able to bounce back so quickly while others aren't?

Some people have developed higher levels of resiliency. This allows them to process through the situation faster than others. They can continue moving forward and past the situation that caused them emotional pain.

However, other people stay stuck in this pain for longer. If they try to ignore or not address their pain, they can end up becoming depressed. They might struggle to do the things that they need to do daily. Life starts to feel like a challenge. If someone stays stuck in their sadness and depression for long enough, it can ultimately lead to things like major depressive disorder or suicide.

How To Grow From A Hurting Heart

While no one likes to experience painful situations in life, there are ways that we can learn from those experiences and grow. There's a time to feel your pain and process through the situation that you experienced. But then there comes a time when you need to continue on in the process. The following tips will help you do that.


See What You Can Learn From The Situation

We all find ourselves in situations that lead to pain at some point in our life or another. If you find yourself in this place, it can help to spend some time processing the situation to see what you can learn about yourself or others for going forward.

For example, if a significant other ended a relationship with you, it can help you grow to look at the situation and see what happened, what you could have done differently, or warning signs that you should have watched for. This can help you to see areas that you need to grow. It can help you spot areas that you can improve in.

Tap Into Your Support System

Sometimes emotional pain is too much to handle on your own. If you have a strong support circle of family and friends, make sure that you talk to them. Let them know how you are feeling and what you need from them. It could just be that you need someone to spend time with to help distract you from sitting in your hurt and pain too much. Sometimes friends and family can help provide you with a break from emotional turmoil. Other times they are exactly what you need to be able to process through the situation with someone that can give you an outside perspective.

Acknowledge Your Ability To Persevere

Many times in life, we don't believe that we can make it past a situation until we are faced with it. If you have lived through something that you weren't sure you could handle take time to feel the new strength that you were able to tap into. You must acknowledge this newfound strength and perseverance that you have. It will help to build your confidence even if you can't tell it's doing that at the moment. Knowing that you were able to overcome a situation and survive you to build your resiliency that you can tap into in other situations that come along in the future.

Look For Ways To Help Others

When we go through difficult situations in life, it opens a door for us to help others that are going through the same situation or ones that are similar. At a certain point in your recovery process, it can help you take a big step forward if you take your focus off yourself and use your time and energy to help someone else. If they are going through a situation similar to what you have been through, you will be able to empathize with them more than other people will. You can use your experience to encourage them to continue moving forward as well.

You may even find a new purpose by doing this, which will only have come about because you went through that painful situation.

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Seek Professional Help

It's easy to get stuck in emotional pain. Sometimes it just feels too hard to see how to recover and move past it. If you find that you are trapped in your hurt, reach out to a professional for help. A licensed therapist can help you experience the emotional healing and growth that you need in your life.

Many people are hesitant to reach out for health because of the stigma that surrounds mental health challenges. They don't want others to believe that they are weak or can't handle a situation on their own. This is where BetterHelp can help. It's an online resource developed to connect qualified professionals with those in need of mental health care.

That means you can get the help that you need without ever needing to leave your house. If you don't want others to know that you are meeting with a therapist, they don't need to know. Although there is never a reason to be ashamed of seeking the help that you need, it's a strength that allows people to get help.

Online counseling also makes it easier for people that are suffering from emotional pain to get help. Sometimes you just don't feel like getting up and going out of the house. Now, that doesn't have to stand in your way of getting the help you need to grow through life's rough times.

Sometimes you just don't feel like getting up and leaving the house, and you don't have to when you can contact a compassionate therapist from your home's comfort. Read the reviews below to learn about real BetterHelp experiences.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Can your heart hurt from sadness?

Sadness is a feeling of emotional pain due to loss, a broken heart that typically hurts feelings. Sadness may flood your body with hormones like cortisol. Ultimately, it leads to a heavy-itchy feeling in the area around your chest. Being hurt from sadness may increase the risk of a heart attack. This is also referred to as broken heart syndrome (when the sadness occurs due to broken hearts). A broken heart syndrome is a collection of different symptoms that are similar to a heart attack. Usually, it occurs in response to emotional distress or hurt feelings.

How can I stop my heart from hurting emotionally?

For you to stop your heart from hurting emotionally, you need to develop what is called emotional resilience. A very helpful way to stop your heart from hurting is by exercising. There so many other ways to deal with emotional pain. Emotional pain can be stopped by finding a new hobby. You may start by painting, singing, drawing, or any other thing you love. Try your best not to ruminate over things that could affect your emotional health.

Why is my heart hurting?

Typically, when your heart is hurting, it simply depicts a symptom of emotional pain. Emotional pain usually arises due to emotional stress and ultimately causes your chest to hurt. You get some painful sensations that affect stomach activity and sometimes lead to breathing issues. Common causes of emotional pain are loss, broken heart, or on some occasions, physical pain. Headache often arises also due to emotional pain.

How do I stop my heart from hurting?

When your heart hurts, it is normally due to the emotional pain you feel. Sometimes, it may be due to withdrawal symptoms after a relationship. However, there are effective ways to stop your heart from hurting. The first step to take may be to understand how you feel. Doing this will help your emotional health, and emotional pain speed will be slow. After you understand your emotions, you need to accept them. Try not to judge yourself while you do any of these things. Try forgetting about the past by focusing more on the present; you may also try reading a new book. Doing that usually helps you heal from a broken heart or any other cause of emotional pain. Sign up to BetterHelp with your email address and other details for help.

Why does your heart hurt when you cry?

Emotional pain can cause your heart to hurt, especially when you cry. Usually, this shows very high levels of emotional stress that may also affect your nervous system. Sometimes this feeling overflows to the stomach. Most times, people experience stomach hurt alongside heart pain or emotional pain. It's important to seek help when you feel this way, to help your emotional health.

Is it bad to go to sleep sad?

The New York times shows that most people go to sleep after having bad emotions. However, you must never go to bed feeling angry, sad, or any other emotional pain, whether short or long. Study shows that most men have lower chances of suppressing a bad emotion after sleeping than before they went to bed. Going to bed angry or sad makes it hard for you to deal with bad thoughts or emotional pain.

How do you heal sore feelings?

For you to heal sore feelings, you need to take up an emotional first aid. Just like you treat a broken leg, here are a few things to do when you want to heal that sore feeling.

  • Get something you love doing e.g., art, music, and the likes.
  • Try doing very engaging things, like drumming, dancing, or even exercising.
  • Make sure you don’t think about the past; you have to put all your energy into the present.
  • If you suffered from heartbreak, try not to tell the stories.
  • Try writing; it might help with any emotional or physical pain you feel.

How do you mentally stop pain?

Mentally stopping pain may require you to take vital steps. Try taking deep breaths often to calm yourself, back up the deep breath by consistent meditation sessions. By stopping stress or reducing stress, you have a better chance of dealing with pain. Joining a support group also helps to mentally stop the pain. Websites or blogs like the squeaky wheel blog helps readers with related psychological issues. The wheel blog may help improve relationships and generally protect them.

Can emotional stress cause a heart attack?

Emotional stress can cause an event like a heart attack. Usually, this is what most people call the broken heart syndrome. Usually, this syndrome may cause the heart to pump very inefficiently for up to thirty days. Emotional stress further exposes the body to further levels of increased stress of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Contact BetterHelp via your email address for more help.

What does a mini heart attack feel like?

A mini heart attack typically occurs as chest pain or a feeling of pressure around the chest. Usually, this pain lasts for several minutes. Also, a mini-heart attack sometimes causes your throat to ache. Other ways to know a mini-heart attack is when you have indigestion and other related issues. When you are about to have a mini heart attack, you may feel tired easily. Mini heart attacks have symptoms like shortness of breath, discomfort in the back, neck, or some body parts. You may also feel nauseous or light-headed.

What does heart pain feel like?

Normally, heart pain comes with a feeling of discomfort in the left-center or center of the human chest. Heart pain may be serious in some cases, and some may just be mild symptoms. A heart pain usually makes your chest feel a sort of heavy pressure, tightness, fullness, crushing, and sometimes squeezing. On some occasions, heart pain may come and go. In that case, it is called stuttering chest pain.

What causes sharp chest pains?

Sharp chest pain usually feels like a stabbing pain. Sometimes it may seem like there’s some sort of high pain speed. On most occasions, sharp chest pain may be caused by pericarditis. On some occasions, it is very related to emotional pain or loss. Please note that chest pains or heart attacks are life-threatening and should be taken that way. There's a possibility that sharp chest pain may be a symptom of a heart attack. Typically, this is very different from broken bones or a broken leg.

Is love worth the pain?

Love without some form of pain may be impractical. Definitely, true love may be worth the pain. However, the pain should be consistent or deep. Once you notice signs of intense pain, the most advisable thing to do is move on from that relationship. At one point or the other, love will hurt. You have to make sure your love is not one-sided. For you to help your emotional health, get help from a professional.

What happens to your body when you cry?

It may sound unbelievable, but crying makes you feel better. From study, it gives your body a soothing and more relaxed feeling. By shedding emotional tears from heartbreak or loss, you are releasing certain hormones. For instance, oxytocin and endorphins are typically released when one cries. It's proven that these hormones are both feel-good hormones that ease physical pain and emotional pain as well. Ultimately, crying helps reduce pain and boost your emotional health.

Why do I like pain?

Pain often comes with feel-good hormones. So, when you feel pain, your body pumps in those chemicals to help you feel better. Examples of these hormones are endorphins, anandamide, and adrenaline. However, it’s still very necessary to treat pain with care. Ensure you don’t stress yourself. Always try resting when you feel tired. Getting overstressed is not safe for you. Don’t forget to always deal with your pain before sleeping. When you avoid going to bed when sad or pained, you will have a higher probability of dealing with that pain.

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