Personal Growth: How To Grow From The Pain And Foster Mental Health
Emotional pain can be challenging to cope with. If you're experiencing pain in your heart, unrelated to a heart attack or other health concerns, you might not be sure how to proceed. Knowing that emotional pain might lead to both physical and mental health symptoms may be helpful. If you are thinking, “my heart hurts emotionally”, you're not alone in the pain you're feeling.
Certain physical illnesses or circumstances, such as severe allergic reactions or a clog in your coronary arteries due to coronary artery disease, may leave you with heart-related pain. However, this pain is often unrelated to physical illness. Despite the discomfort, extreme grief, sadness, fear, stress, or other feelings can be a cause of physical ailments. In these cases, learning how to control your emotions can be beneficial. Many people also find counseling supportive during these times.
Does your heart or chest hurt? Physical pain vs. emotional pain
It can be normal to feel hurt when experiencing intense feelings and personal pain. Studies have found this is a common phenomenon, with many people associating sadness and emotional stress with feeling hurt physically. This pain is temporary for some people and might occur while crying. For others, the physical and mental pain can last longer or hurt throughout the day. Regardless, it is often emotionally related and may not be associated with physical issues such as heart failure, blood clots, or low blood pressure. However, if you are experiencing chest pain and are unsure of the cause, seeking professional help and a medical evaluation is usually recommended. At this point, you may talk to your doctor to rule out concerns like a heart attack, heart failure, heart disease, or other heart-related health issues. Take note of your symptoms so you can accurately report them to your doctor to receive a possible diagnosis.
Why does my heart hurt?
The discomfort of broken heart syndrome
If you’re wondering why your heart hurts emotionally, you may also be facing physical conditions like broken heart syndrome, also known as stress-induced cardiomyopathy. Broken heart syndrome, which can also be referred to as takotsubo cardiomyopathy, can occur in the heart when someone experiences periods of extreme stress. This stress can overwhelm the body and cause heart muscle weakness. Those experiencing broken heart syndrome may feel as though they are having heart attack-like symptoms, often experiencing chest pain and shortness of breath. It's important for patients to talk to their primary care physician about any symptoms they have been experiencing. Heart attacks and other chest issues can require professional medical attention.
What it means to grow from pain
Your heart health can be important to maintain. While it can be challenging to experience painful situations, there are ways to learn from these experiences and recover. However, growth is not minimizing what you have lost, so it may be important to be honest and patient with yourself and the process. Growth might be a gradual, non-linear process that can take many years, as scars can take time to heal. As you process emotions and develop resilience and new skills, you may cultivate practices that help you finally emerge as a better person. This may mean gaining a newfound perspective on experiences.
What is posttraumatic growth?
Call-out content: Researchers may define posttraumatic growth as the positive psychological changes that might result from trauma and other distressing situations. When a person experiences posttraumatic growth, they may display increased self-awareness, openness towards others, and a more pronounced appreciation for life, which may also be reflected in their relationships and worldview. Researchers’ findings have linked awareness of one’s resilience—specifically, the ability to trust one’s capacity to cope—may foster positive change and posttraumatic growth.
How trauma can lead to positive change
While the experience of trauma is associated with significant physical and mental health challenges, traumatic or highly adverse experiences can also create a path for self-development and growth.
By shifting one’s self-perception and perspective, painful experiences that you may not forget but can heal from can potentially lead to:
- Wisdom
- Meaning
- New possibilities
- Changed priorities
- A richer inner life
Making meaning through your narrative
Researchers have also noted the factors that can contribute to posttraumatic growth. These factors include supportive social environments, cognitive processing, and narrative making. Honest reflection can offer a way to make meaning of one’s narrative, which may help foster greater understanding of one’s story and increase self-awareness. One powerful tool for self-reflection may include journaling and expressive writing. When you write and reflect on your thoughts and feelings, you may gain greater insight into your experiences, which may also help you better understand your current situation. Writing may also help you achieve a broader sense of personal identity and derive meaning from experiences.
How to grow from the pain
While there are many helpful tools to help you achieve positive change, it may be important to take small actions. For example, you may need to regulate your body first, which may involve getting enough rest, engaging in physical exercise, and eating nutritious meals that support your well-being.
The following tips may guide you as you learn to cope with your emotions. Note that suppressing emotions can increase physical and emotional challenges, so being open and willing to cope with them is often the healthiest option.
Discover what you can learn from this painful situation
Build compassion for yourself and practice mindfulness
Self-compassion might mean offering yourself the same kindness, support, and understanding as you would a friend. By recognizing your common humanity with others, you may also achieve a sense of perspective. Self-compassion can also mean “fierce self-compassion,” which involves creating healthy boundaries and connecting with new sources of support. You may begin by asking yourself, “What do I need right now to grow?” Asking yourself this question from a place of caring rather than self-judgment may lead you to reflect on habits and patterns.
Mindfulness meditation can also help you become more present, challenging the mind’s tendency to dwell on the past or worry about the future. One tool in mindfulness is labeling emotions, such as sadness, which can boost awareness and may lessen the grip of emotions.
one or more self care & clinical tools
Acknowledge your ability to persevere through pain
There may be times when you feel as if you can't make it past a particular heart pain. In these cases, reflecting on other times you have experienced internal pain and persevered may be beneficial. If you have lived through an experience you weren't sure you could handle, such as a breakup or the loss of a loved one, consider thinking of any newfound strength you could tap into because of this experience. Knowing that you overcame a situation where you hurt intensely and survived can help you build resilience.
Learn how to grow from the pain
Find your why & help others
When you go through difficult situations, it can open a door for you to help others going through similar experiences. At a certain point in your recovery process, it may help you take a step forward if you take your focus off yourself and use your time and energy to help someone else.
If someone is going through a situation similar to what you have been through, you may be able to:
- Empathize with them more than others.
- Use your experience to encourage them to continue moving forward.
- Help others, which may give you a sense of purpose, showing you that you make a positive difference in the world.
The role of community in healing
If you feel your pain is too much to handle alone, talking with a family member or friend you can trust may be beneficial during stressful situations. Researchers have found that social connection and community can increase physical and mental health, which may help you relieve your physical symptoms.
When you talk to these people, let them know how you feel and what you need from them. Heartache may be a sign that you need someone to spend time with loved ones to help distract you from sitting in your pain. Your family and friends may also have a unique perspective to support you through this emotionally draining experience. If you do not have a close support system, consider the following options:
- Making friends in online support groups
- Attending an in-person support group
- Joining a club at your university
- Attending a meet-up with a group in your town
- Going to events in your city and talking to people to make friends
- Talking to a therapist
When pain becomes overwhelming
Self-care and practices such as journaling, self-compassion, and mindfulness may play an important role in personal growth, fostering resilience. However, it may sometimes be overwhelming to manage emotional distress on your own. Depression, for example, can often make it challenging to get out of bed and do all the things that can foster growth and resilience.
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- Take a short questionnaire. Answer a few quick questions about your goals, preferences, and the type of therapist you’d like to work with.
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Takeaway
Emotional pain can be associated with uncomfortable physical symptoms, and you're not alone if you're experiencing it. Suppose your symptoms aren't disappearing after talking to friends and family, distracting yourself, or offering support to others. In that case, you might also benefit from reaching out to a counselor for further guidance and support.
What is wrong if I'm feeling heart pain?
You may be familiar with a few of the most common causes of heart and chest pain. A few causes of chest pain may be associated with the heart or lungs, like coronary artery disease, mitral valve prolapse, high blood pressure, angina, COPD, cardiac arrest (heart attack), and other physical conditions. Contact your medical doctor immediately if you suspect you are experiencing a physical heart concern.
Heart disease is one of the most prevalent chronic conditions in the world. However, distress from a painful situation can also cause physical symptoms, such as unexplained chest pain, stomach aches, and whole-body aches. Heart pain may not always be a sign of an underlying physical concern, but can represent something emotional.
Although heart pain may be related to feelings, seek emergency medical attention if you experience new or worsening chest or heart pain along with any of the following:
- Discomfort, numbing, prickling, or a burning sensation in the arms, neck, back, or jaw
- Cold sweats or dizziness
- Rapid breathing or shortness of breath
- Pressure, squeezing, or stabbing chest pain that gets worse
- Extreme fatigue
- Sudden nausea or vomiting
- A fever over 101 degrees Fahrenheit
Should I worry if I'm experiencing chest pain?
Although there are many possible causes of chest pain, cardiologists and family physicians recommend not ignoring the pain in or around the chest area. Speak to your medical doctor if you're unsure. However, know that chest pain is often associated with psychological concerns, including panic attacks and some mental health conditions.
Can you feel hurt or physical pain from sadness?
Sadness may be described as a feeling of psychological pain, often due to loss, life changes, or disappointing or unfortunate events. Sadness may flood your body with hormones like cortisol. Excess stress hormones in the body can cause physical sensations in your heart and nervous system, like chest pain, itching, or a rapid heart rate.
How to grow from pain?
There might be numerous strategies one can use to grow from emotional pain. Some of these could include:
- Talking to a close friend or family member about the traumatic event
- Reframing the experience as a growth opportunity
- Journaling
- Practicing self-care
- Remembering a time when you overcame psychological pain
- Talking to a mental health professional
- Actively seeking knowledge from the experience
Why do we grow from pain?
Pain can sometimes act as a motivator for growth. When we experience pain, we might become more aware of things that we need to change, whether it be behaviors when we fall in love, associations, or thought patterns. This explains a phenomenon called post-traumatic growth, which many people, including cancer patients and those with traumatic brain injury, experience after going through a difficult time. Some people who experience post-traumatic growth may find themselves thriving as a result of the experience. Sharing their story of resilience can also give other people hope for feeling better in the future and experiencing a new age of growth and vitality.
How can you turn pain into growth?
Turning pain into growth may involve reflecting on experiences and seeking healthy ways to cope with emotions. Practicing mindfulness, self-compassion, and journaling may be helpful tools for personal growth during this process. Additionally, connecting with others and seeking to learn from challenging experiences may foster growth. Many people also benefit from finding a safe, non-judgmental space in which to process experiences and emotions.
How do you move on from pain?
Moving on from pain can be a gradual process, often involving self-care, self-compassion, and seeking support from others. By engaging in practices that calm the nervous system, such as mindfulness meditation, a person may also learn to navigate intense emotions more skillfully, which may be empowering.
Why does sadness hurt so much?
Findings suggest there may be an overlap in neural pathways between how people process physical and emotional pain. While not identical, researchers speculate that the strong feelings we experience in response to emotional pain are hardwired by evolution.
Can exercise help with emotional pain?
Yes, exercise can alleviate emotional pain and mental health symptoms, such as depression and anxiety. One way that exercise may relieve emotional pain is by improving mood and relieving stress, which may also alleviate physical symptoms of emotional pain.
Can pain change a person?
Yes, the experience of emotional pain may significantly affect you. When unaddressed, physical and emotional pain can contribute to many chronic physical and mental health conditions, which can change many aspects of a person’s life. For example, you may lose interest in previously enjoyed activities and withdraw socially. However, emotional pain can also lead to personal growth.
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