Queer Dating & Mental Health: The Benefits Of An LGBTQ Dating App

The increasing popularity of online dating and the growing visibility of queer identities have led to a demand for apps that are geared specifically toward the LGBTQ+ community. LGBTQ+ dating apps can provide a safe space for people who identify as queer to connect and pursue romantic and/or sexual relationships. Understanding the services and features that are available through these apps—as well as the advantages and potential pitfalls of online dating—may help users navigate the dating world in a safe way. Below, we’re discussing dating in the LGBTQ+ community, exploring relevant online dating services, and outlining options for queer dating apps that you might consider if you’re seeking a connection. 

About the LGBTQ+ community

The LGBTQ+ community comprises individuals who identify as: 

1. Lesbian
2. Gay
3. Bisexual
4. Transgender
5. Queer
6. Questioning

The term is often expanded to LGBTQIA+ to also refer to people who are

1. Intersex
2. Asexual/aromantic
3. Part of other gender or sexual minority groups.

The LGBTQ+ community is a growing segment of the overall population. Nearly 10% of all adults in the US now identify as LGBTQ+, while almost 30% of Gen Z adults belong to the cohort. 

The recognition and acceptance of queer identities have increased significantly over the past several decades. However, stigma and discrimination are still prevalent, as evidenced by recent efforts to take away the rights of trans people through various state and federal laws. The LGBTQ+ community is also extremely diverse, so the queer experience can differ substantially among various demographics. For example, queer people of color may be subjected to added discrimination based on their racial or ethnic identity, as described by the concept of intersectionality. 

Common dating challenges faced by queer people

Traversing the dating landscape can be difficult regardless of identity. But individuals in the LGBTQ+ community often experience unique concerns when pursuing romantic or sexual relationships—challenges that can highlight the utility of queer-specifiic dating apps. 

A limited dating pool

There is a growing number of inclusive spaces that connect LGBTQ+ individuals in real life. However, due to population size and the persistent potential dangers of being openly queer in some places, it can still be harder for queer people to meet romantic or sexual interests than it is for straight people. The small dating pool can be a particularly difficult hurdle to overcome in rural areas, where the population is less dense. It can also be of extra concern in regions with lower levels of acceptance or a higher incidence of anti-LGBTQ+ sentiment. 

Violence and discrimination

Research suggests that the risk of intimate partner violence among individuals in gender and sexual minority groups is as high as or higher than that of the general population. Additionally, many members of the LGBTQ+ community experience hatred and discrimination due to stigmas that persist in society. Despite a growing acceptance overall, there are still significant efforts to continue to marginalize LGBTQ+ people.   

For some LGBTQ+ individuals, homophobia can also negatively affect their feelings about themselves and other members of the community. This can sometimes result in abusive behavior, as unresolved feelings of this type could lead them to lash out. Research suggests that there may be a connection between internalized homophobia and intimate partner violence among LGBTQ+ individuals. For those experiencing challenges, there are many gender-affirming forms of care available in-person and online.

What are LGBTQ+ dating apps?

Online dating has become an increasingly popular way of meeting potential romantic or sexual partners. Dating apps, specifically, are widely utilized today. Research suggests that 30% of all adults in the US have used an online dating service. For adults under the age of 30, that number increases to over 50%.  

LGBTQ+ dating sites and apps can help circumvent common obstacles to meeting potential partners as a queer person. Most notably, these services are often exclusively used by LGBTQ+ individuals, which can eliminate the challenge of meeting fellow queer people. Additionally, the inclusivity of such services may make their use more comfortable for people with limited experience engaging in the LGBTQ+ community, such as those who are newly out or otherwise haven’t engaged in queer online dating culture before.

Potential drawbacks of queer dating apps

While there are numerous possible benefits associated with LGBTQ+-focused dating apps, such services can also pose various risks. Research suggests that cyberbullying is a challenge that can arise out of gay dating apps, which can negatively impact users’ mental well-being. Some users of queer dating apps also report receiving unsolicited explicit images and others have experienced attempted scamming, though both of these can affect users on mainstream apps as well. Additionally, there are some concerns that habitual use of certain types of dating apps can lead to behaviors that mimic addictions, potentially leading to emotional distress. 

What apps are available?

There are several services LGBTQ+ individuals can choose from if they want to explore the world of online dating. The following are popular dating apps that are either designed for or inclusive of LGBTQ+ identities. 

Queer dating apps

There are numerous online dating services that are specifically tailored to the LGBTQ+ community. For example, HER is a dating app that is meant for queer women and gender non-conforming individuals. With over 15 million active users, HER is an app that could be preferable for those concerned about a limited dating pool.

Taimi is another popular dating app for LGBTQ+ individuals. Like HER, Taimi is geared toward individuals in gender and sexual minority groups. Both of these two apps allow for a significant amount of customization, providing users with the opportunity to express their personality and clarify their preferences. Unlike HER, though, Taimi can be used by a larger group of individuals, including cisgender gay men. Some other apps that are specifically for LGBTQ+ people include SCRUFF, Grindr, and Hornet. 

General dating apps

Many mainstream dating apps—such as Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge—are inclusive while not being specifically geared toward the LGBTQ+ community. These apps typically allow users to connect with other LGBTQ+ individuals based on their preferences and settings. Additionally, many of these platforms have taken steps to provide increasing visibility for queer people. For example, Hinge provides certain prompts specifically for LGBTQ+ users.  

Tips for using an LGBTQ dating app

Being active on queer dating apps can be a fun and exciting experience, particularly when you know how to best utilize them. The following are strategies for getting the most out of an LGTBQ dating app. 

Prioritize safety

As discussed above, there are several concerns inherent to dating as a member of the LGBTQ+ community in today’s world. To support users, many dating apps emphasize the safety of user information, aiming to deter actions like cyberbullying or stalking. There are also many steps you can take to protect yourself. 

First, you might avoid sending sensitive information—such as the address of your home or workplace—to other users. If another user is making you feel uncomfortable, apps will typically allow you to block them so that they are removed from your list of matches and no longer able to contact you. Also, through most apps, you can report interactions that are abusive, inappropriate, or threatening. 

If you’re meeting someone from an app in real life, consider telling a close friend or family member where you’re going and when. You can also share your location with them for extra safety. 

Customize your profile

Through most apps, you can post several photos of yourself and list your interests, job, physical characteristics, and other facts. The good news is that customizing your profile allows you to exhibit your personality and show potential matches who you are. The bad news is that figuring out how best to do this can be easier said than done. 

When it comes to posting pictures on dating apps, primarily putting up recent photos of you alone—as opposed to groups of people that include you—can help avoid confusion. You might also want to include pictures in which you’re participating in your hobbies, which can help users get a better idea of your interests and personality.

As you’re filling out your profile, consider including the type of relationship you’re looking for. For example, you may be looking for a:

1. Monogamous relationship
2. Mon-monogamous romantic relationship
3. Friendship
4. Hookup

You can also spark conversation and highlight your personality through creative prompts that can help matches start a chat with you

Choose the LGBTQ dating app that fits your needs

Before you start using a queer dating app, it can help to know what you want out of the experience. Are you looking for a romantic relationship? If so, do you want a long-term relationship or a more casual situation? 

Certain dating apps are geared toward users looking for commitment, while another might be a good app primarily for hookups or shorter-term relationships. Knowing which apps might be best for your dating goals might help you reduce the risk of bad dates and uncomfortable situations. 

Navigating the world of queer dating with online therapy

If you’d like to speak with a professional about dating, LGBTQ+ experiences, or related topics, consider connecting with a licensed therapist. Online therapy in particular can be a convenient and cost-effective form of mental health care for individuals of all identities. 

The benefits of online therapy for queer people 

With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can get matched with a therapist based on your needs and preferences, which may include the desire for an LGBTQ+-affirming professional. You can then meet with them remotely from anywhere you have an internet connection. Plus, online therapy sessions often cost less than traditional in-person sessions without insurance. 

The efficacy of online therapy

A growing number of studies suggest that online therapy can help individuals in the LGBTQ+ community address mental health challenges, including those related to:

1. Sexuality
2. Gender identity
3. Gender dysphoria
4. Family rejection
5. Discrimination
6. Past Trauma

For example, findings from one study suggest that online therapy led to a reduction in depression, social anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder in LGBTQ+ individuals. Additionally, participants experienced an increase in self-acceptance and a decrease in avoidance tendencies.