There have been some famous—or even infamous—quotes about sex over the years. Some may find these lines to be funny; others may find them to be crude. Some people may believe the quotes illustrate lessons in dating, sex, and the proper state of mind when approaching someone you like or find attractive. The quotes also may reflect stereotypes about sex. Sex can be a provocative topic, as can these quotes. They reflect some individuals' attitudes about sex—and may prompt you to think about your own sexual beliefs.
Five Quotes About Sex
Realistically, everyone who has sex has a reason (and needs a place) for it. This quote by the well-known comedian is a reminder that people may have different motivations for sex. Their attitudes may vary, too. Research shows that there may be four main categories of motives for having sex: physical, goal-based, emotional, and insecurity. Physical reasons include pleasure, stress relief, and sexual curiosity. This may be the motivation that Billy Crystal was referring to in his quote about men. Perhaps he was implying that men's motivation for sex is, in some cases, physically motivated. He may have also been implying that women's motivations might be different. He may have been referring to having sex based on emotional reasons—like love, commitment, or connection—in addition to physical pleasure. These can certainly be stereotypes of men and women. However, research shows that men may be more likely to seek sex because they like how it feels physically, while women may be more apt to be looking for relationship-enhancing reasons for having sex. The bottom line is that each person is unique regarding the "wheres" and "whys" of their sexual motivations.
Good sex and bad sex are relative terms. What one person thinks is great sex (or a great sandwich) may not seem good to someone else. Also, there are no rules or definitions for what bad sex and good sex are. In general, most people would certainly rather have good than bad when it comes to sex, sandwiches, or most anything in life. Bad sex may mean many things—physical discomfort, not having an orgasm, boredom, a lack of connection, selfishness by one partner, not being aroused, and more. Communicating about sex can lead to more sexual satisfaction. Research shows that couples who talk about sex have better sex; only 9% of couples who don't talk about sex are sexually satisfied. Letting your partner know what you desire sexually can lead to greater fulfillment, as can listening to what they say about sex. Respectful communication—along with respecting boundaries—can help sex be more fulfilling.
3. "To have her here in bed with me, breathing on me, her hair in my mouth - I count that something of a miracle." - Henry Miller
Henry Miller's quote emphasizes the value of cherishing the moment, mindfulness, and intimacy. It is a reminder that physical intimacy does not necessarily mean sex. It can be about touch and closeness. The breath, the hair, the mouth—that's a very sensual description. The senses are highly engaged. The closeness seems to be bringing not just pleasure but also gratitude for the partner. Research shows that gratitude increases sexual strength and motivates partners to maintain a close relationship. Overall, famous author Henry Miller's quote can serve as a reminder that sensual touch and intimacy can be powerful and pleasurable, as one can take the time to appreciate a partner and be in the moment.
Dr. Leman's quote is not about sizzling sex on a stovetop but about the idea that sex does not start in the bedroom; it starts with the relationship. Developing intimacy in all aspects of the relationship can enhance not just sexual satisfaction but also a strong, healthy connection. Little things—like doing the dishes or talking while cooking—can have big payoffs. Building intimacy outside of the bedroom can strengthen relationships. Ideas for improving intimacy in relationships include showing appreciation for your partner; making an effort to learn about each other and what's happening in each other's lives; unplugging and focusing on one another; helping each other with big and small things; and setting aside time to spend with each other in the kitchen, in the bedroom, and wherever you may find yourselves. You might try to enhance a relationship, sex life, and connection by starting in the kitchen, which many say is the heart of the home.
It seems that Jimmy Dean, the sausage king, knew more about life than just breakfast meat. His quote emphasizes the value and delight of a loving relationship, which includes sex but can involve more than sex. Sex can be the finishing touch—the final topping that makes something that's already great even better. Starting with a good foundation can be the basis for an even richer relationship. If you start with vanilla ice cream, you can have a delicious dessert. Add the toppings or "coverings," and you may end up with something truly swoon-worthy. And the cherry on the top can make it extra special and even more desirable. That comparison may just make love and sex (and an ice cream sundae) sound delicious.
"If you were to quote me…." What would you say about sex?
If someone were to quote you about sex, what would you want them to say? Sex means different things to different people. Sex can even mean different things to the same person, depending on who their partner is, when they have it, why they have it, and more.
There's a theory that people have sex either to get something or share something—or sometimes for both reasons. If someone wants to share something through sex, it may be love, warmth, connection, passion, or a desire to procreate with a partner, for example. Suppose someone wants to get something from sex. In that case, it might be a purely physical pleasure, the release of sexual tension, stress relief, happiness, a feeling of safety and security, sleep promotion, a feeling so loved and lovable, or a feeling of being powerful or in control. Note that this last reason—the need to feel powerful or in control—should be looked at carefully and through the lens of consent. In any physical or sexual interaction, consent from both partners is always necessary.
Consent is a clear agreement between the participants to engage in a specific sexual activity together voluntarily. Consent must be unambiguous. Each partner should give verbal consent for each sexual activity. Silence is not consent, so you should never assume you have consent—always ask to be sure. Consent should also be ongoing. At any point in a sexual encounter, a person can change their mind. Consent should also be coherent. For instance, if a person is impaired by drugs or alcohol or is not fully awake, they can't give clear consent. Consent should be completely voluntary and given willingly (not coerced by placing pressure on a partner or asking them something repeatedly, for instance).
RAINN is the largest anti-sexual violence organization and offers resources about consent and how to ask for consent. RAINN also offers support for those who have experienced non-consensual sex, which is sexual assault. To speak with someone trained to help, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) or chat online at online.rainn.org.
A Final Quote About Sex
"Sex is more than sensation and is within life rather than outside or apart from other experiences." –C. Leon Hopper
Quotes about sex can illustrate different attitudes about sex, intimacy, and relationships. This last quote may sum it up. Sex is about sensation, but it is also part of other areas of life, such as how your partner or partners feel about it, what it means emotionally and physically to you and partners, and how it's connected to physical and emotional health. Having sexually healthy emotions and behaviors is important for healthy sex life and overall wellbeing. Learning to feel joy in sex, respectfully communicate with a partner about sex, take responsibility for preventing sexually transmitted diseases, and use contraception wisely are examples of healthy sexual behaviors. Understanding that sex can be integrated into life and relationships in positive and healthy ways is a good experience for you and your partner or partners can lead to even more pleasure.
Licensed mental health professionals are available to support you in developing healthy sexual relationships and outlooks on sex. They can also help individuals and couples strengthen relationships and address relationship issues and mental health concerns. Through BetterHelp, you can connect virtually with a licensed mental health professional, which can be an affordable, accessible, and comfortable way to work with a therapist to address your individual needs.