The Best Ways To Cope With Fear Of Sex (Genophobia)
Content Warning: The following article contains topics related to trauma, sex, sexual assault, phobias, and other potentially triggering topics. Read at your discretion.
Romantic relationships can have many different aspects, each of which may have its place and importance. Sexual intimacy is often included in many close connections, drawing couples closer and helping them bond more deeply. For some people, a fear of sex called genophobia can impact their ability to enjoy physical closeness in this way, regardless of urge or desire.
The Fear Of Sex And How To Cope
Fear of sex is clinically referred to as genophobia, also known as coitophobia or erotophobia. Genophobia may cause individuals not to want to engage in certain kinds of sexual intercourse or any sexual acts whatsoever.
This phobia is different from asexuality, a sexual orientation characterized by a lack of sexual attraction. Asexual people are not necessarily afraid of sex and may or may not partake in sexual activity. Asexuality is not a mental health condition.
Though genophobia isn't listed in the DSM-5, it falls under the category of anxiety disorders. Specifically, it fits into the category of phobias. Other phobias besides genophobia can make closeness difficult for certain people. Specific phobias include gymnophobia, when you're scared of nudity, or philophobia, when you're scared of love.
Though having some apprehension or nerves can be normal when engaging in sexual activity, intense feelings of fear may signify a more profound concern. Those with genophobia may experience panic attacks or dread when confronted with a sexual situation or thinking of the idea of intimate sex.
Sex is often a pleasurable activity enjoyed by everyone involved. If you do not feel safe and comfortable with your partner, you may struggle to connect sexually, even if you feel sexual attraction. You may struggle to have close relationships due to your fears.
Genophobia may be managed with therapy, prescription medications, or a combination. Though physical intimacy may be challenging to experience, do not push yourself until you are ready. Consent can mean enthusiastic and enjoyable sexual agreement. If you are afraid, you may not feel able to consent.
Symptoms Of Genophobia
Symptoms of any phobia might vary from person to person. However, you may experience all or some of the following symptoms:
Shortness of breath
A strong urge to avoid sex, relationships, or intimacy
Intense fear of sex or sexually related topics
Panic attacks or anxiety
Physical symptoms, such as shaking or nausea
Causes Of Genophobia
At times, phobias are a direct result of trauma. Other times, they may be caused by life circumstances or personal motives. The following are potential causes of genophobia.
Sexual assault can be traumatizing and is often a cause of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). You may feel violated, scared, or physically harmed after an assault. Survivors of traumatic sexual encounters may struggle to trust romantic partners or have strong averse feelings toward physical intimacy. They may develop a fear of sex.
According to the American Psychological Association, everyone handles the aftermath of sexual violence differently. Some people may partake in sexual activity more often to cope with their trauma, while others may do the opposite and experience a decrease in their sexual desire. If you're a survivor of sexual assault, you may become less trusting of people or develop genophobia. Even if a future encounter is consensual, you may feel scared or worried that you could find yourself in the same situation.
If you've experienced sexual abuse, seeing a therapist can help you process the experience in a safe space. With the right resources, healing is possible. You can also reach out to speak to a representative at the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673. The hotline is free and could be a step in moving forward.
Though it can be challenging to speak about your sexual assault, it may allow you to get support and deal with the trauma it caused.
You may not remember a traumatic childhood experience in detail but might still have an unconscious fear of sex because of it. Childhood trauma may look different for everyone.
Trauma may be due to emotional, verbal, sexual, physical, or psychological abuse. You may have been put into situations or had experiences that made you uncomfortable. Abuse or neglect during childhood could also lead to sexual anxiety or genophobia.
Body insecurities may cause difficulty with sex. Anyone of any gender may experience body image issues, which might lead to sexual performance anxiety. Being naked around a person can feel intimate, and being afraid about their perception of your body can be common.
A partner may not offer support, which may cause worsening fear. You may also feel pressured by your partner to show them your body. While you're having sex, you might feel unable to enjoy the encounter because of your insecurity.
Sex may be a taboo topic in many religions. If you were raised to believe that sex should only be reserved for procreation and not pleasure, it might be challenging to dispel those beliefs for yourself.
Even if you don't participate in your religion anymore, you may still experience thoughts and fears when you're in an intimate situation, even with someone you have an emotional connection with. If you are still religious, you might wish to abstain from sex due to these fears.
At times, genophobia may be the byproduct of another fear. For example, you may have a fear of nudity or fear of contracting an STD. Additionally, you might be afraid of being hurt during sex or becoming pregnant. Other phobias may play into genophobia.
Mental Health Concerns
Mental health conditions could lead to fear of physical acts or impaired sexual relationships. You might experience fear of sex due to an anxiety disorder, trauma, an eating disorder, or body dysmorphia, for example.
Feeling pain during sexual intercourse (dyspareunia) may be common. However, painful sex can indicate an underlying issue. If you have developed an aversion to sex due to genital pain, seek professional medical advice to rule out health problems. Genital pain may also be caused by trauma or trauma-related mental health disorders.
How Do You Move Forward With Genophobia?
There may not be one specific cure for genophobia. Like most specific phobias, it may take time and effort to work through. However, phobias can be treatable, and finding the proper treatment may make a difference.
Find The Cause
Look at the common causes of genophobia listed above. Have you had any experience or insecurity that could be the cause of your fear? You may also want to reflect on what seems to trigger your fears and keep a record of how certain situations involving sex affect you.
Try to avoid your triggers as you work through treating your phobia. Sex is a sensitive topic and activity, and you may find yourself retraumatized if you force yourself into it too soon.
If you feel your genophobia is caused by insecurity, try working on self-acceptance and self-love. Surround yourself with people who won't put you down for your insecurity. If your partner is hostile toward your body or makes you feel unattractive, you may decide you no longer find the relationship healthy.
If your partner understands, open up to them about how you feel. Let them know if you have any sexual boundaries. For example, you might only want to partake in sex with clothes on for some time. By having an open line of communication, you may be able to work together to feel more comfortable in intimate situations.
Get To Know Your Body
You may want to get to know your own body better. What makes you feel sexy, what are your turn-ons, and what elevates your sexual desire? Knowing what you like may allow you to communicate with your partner.
You may also try a guided meditation to help you relax and get in tune with how your body feels and how you feel about your body image. Studies show that meditation can increase self-compassion.
Working with a therapist may also help you become more comfortable and explore your relationship with your body.
Communicate With Your Partner
If your genophobia is due to past trauma, try to talk to your partner about it. If there's a reason you're struggling, they may be able to relate or understand in more depth after communicating.
Having someone you can trust and communicate with safely may make a huge difference in recovering from past traumas. If your partner is patient with you and doesn't push you into sexual activity, you may feel safe to try new activities when you're ready.
Try Counseling For Phobias
Overcoming specific phobias like genophobia may feel difficult on your own. Enlisting the help of a licensed therapist may move the process along so that you can recover with greater ease and productivity. Getting advice from your friends or loved ones can be helpful, but guidance from a licensed therapist can help you get to the root cause of the problem and begin to heal from it.
If you're uncomfortable leaving home for an appointment or find that you'd feel safer in your own home, you might consider trying online therapy. Online therapy can be an effective treatment for specific phobias. One study looked at the efficacy of internet-delivered treatment for phobias and found that the intervention successfully reduced anxiety symptoms. The study also showed that participants experienced fewer fearful emotions and were less prone to believing catastrophic thoughts in the long term.
If you're ready to try online counseling, consider an online platform such as BetterHelp, which has a growing database of counselors specializing in various mental health issues.
If you're ready to take the first step toward therapeutic healing, consider reaching out to a counselor.
Frequently Asked Questions
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