Emotional isolation may stem from a lack of meaningful personal relationships or emotional bonds, which can cause a person to feel misunderstood or undervalued. 

Understanding the signs and symptoms of emotional loneliness and social isolation may help a person find ways to manage the symptoms and address the underlying causes to improve social relationships. Managing emotional or social loneliness often involves a combination of social support and mental health strategies. Below, we’ll examine the concept of emotional loneliness as well as practical ways to navigate and manage the impacts of feeling lonely, including through the support of a therapist who understands various causes of loneliness.  

Understanding emotional loneliness 

Emotional loneliness is a type of real or perceived social isolation that can negatively impact a person’s mental and physical health. Anyone can experience emotional loneliness; however, studies suggest that young adults may currently feel lonelier than those of other age groups. Young adulthood is a time when a person’s social network often changes, and it can be challenging to maintain old relationships and initiate new ones. Research suggests that technology—especially social media—may also play a role in emotional loneliness.

Types of loneliness

Loneliness can take various forms, each tied to different aspects of human connection. Understanding the types of loneliness may help a person identify their specific social and emotional needs and find effective strategies for managing loneliness. Some common types of loneliness include: 

• Emotional loneliness. This type of loneliness occurs when a person experiences a lack of meaningful relationships or emotional intimacy. A person living with emotional loneliness may have contact with other people at work or home yet still feel disconnected or have few close relationships. 
• Situational loneliness. Situational loneliness can be caused by major life events, such as moving to a new city, going through a breakup, or starting at a new school. 
• Social loneliness. This type of loneliness can be caused by not belonging to a group or community.
• Cultural loneliness. Cultural loneliness can occur when a person feels isolated due to cultural differences. It can be common in people who move to a new country, as they may experience language barriers or otherwise have a perception of being an outsider. 
• Physical loneliness. This type of loneliness can be characterized by a longing for touch or physical connection. A person who is physically lonely may miss hugging someone, holding hands, or engaging in other forms of physical affection. 
• Romantic loneliness. Romantic loneliness may occur (for those who experience romantic attraction) in the absence of a romantic partner. It may also occur when there’s dissatisfaction in one’s romantic relationship(s).
• Existential loneliness: Existential loneliness can occur even when others are present. From an existential perspective, a person may feel alone in the world no matter where they go.

Causes of social loneliness

The causes of infrequent social contact and social loneliness in particular can vary and may be numerous. Some of the common causes include: 

Personal factors

Environmental factors

Societal influences 

Personal factors and emotional loneliness

One personal factor that can cause or contribute to emotional loneliness is low self-esteem or confidence. Low self-esteem can make it challenging to meet new people or connect with others on a deeper level. People with low self-esteem may believe that they are not worthy of getting to know or becoming close with others. Social media may exacerbate the connection between self-esteem and loneliness, with studies on public health suggesting that people who use social media more frequently may be likelier to experience low self-esteem and higher levels of loneliness. 

In addition to self-esteem, people who have experienced past trauma or attachment challenges may be more likely to experience emotional loneliness. Traumatic events can make it hard to trust other people enough to become vulnerable and close with them. For survivors of trauma, it may take more time and additional support to build relationships, but there are therapists who specialize in helping people overcome trauma.

Environmental factors and social isolation

Environmental factors may also play a role in social isolation or emotional loneliness. Major life events like moving to a new city or country, having close friends move away, or losing a loved one can cause experiences of loneliness. 

Societal influences

Societal influences can impact the sense of loneliness in some individuals. For example, social media use can make it seem like everyone else has closer friendships than you do, which can contribute to low self-esteem, loneliness, and social withdrawal. Cultural norms in many places may also prioritize independence or isolated romantic relationships over community, which can contribute to emotional loneliness as well. 

The serious consequences of chronic loneliness: The emotional and physical pain of loneliness

Social isolation and emotional loneliness can have significant impacts on a person’s overall health and well-being. The effects of social isolation may vary in severity and duration for different individuals. These can include: 

• Mental health impacts
• Physical impacts
• Behavioral changes

Mental health impacts of social loneliness

The mental health impacts of isolation or loneliness can lead to mental health disorders such as depression and/or anxiety. The connection between loneliness and anxiety is thought to be evolutionary in nature, as social relations may be linked to safety. 

The increase in anxiety and stress brought about by isolation can also cause depression in some cases. This can lead to a cycle of social isolation, because as a person becomes more depressed, they may withdraw from society more. 

Physical impacts of feeling lonely 

In addition to impacts on mental health, loneliness may also have negative impacts on a person’s physical health. Chronic loneliness has been identified as one of the risk factors for serious health challenges like stroke and heart disease, type 2 diabetes, dementia, and early mortality. This may be because loneliness is a form of stress that can affect the brain andthat can put the body in a state of fight-or-flight, which elevates heart rate and increases blood pressure. 

Behavioral changes associated with loneliness

Social isolation may also cause behavior changes in some individuals, including social withdrawal and even withdrawal from close friends and family. It may also cause or contribute to the development of unhealthy coping mechanisms, like binge eating or misusing substances such as alcohol or drugs.  

Rebuilding connection and forming new friendships

If you’re experiencing emotional loneliness, you may benefit from implementing strategies to create deeper emotional bonds. This may involve seeking new friendships and getting out of the house for companionship and connection. Striking up conversation with neighbors, joining hobby groups, attending cultural events, volunteering, and engaging in other activities in your area might all help you build both confidence and relationships. 

It may also be helpful to develop a resilient mindset when it comes to interpersonal connections. Remember that meeting like-minded people can take time and that putting yourself out there is a skill you can improve with practice. 

Self-care to help you reduce loneliness

Though it may sound counterintuitive, health psychology research suggests that it might also be helpful to put effort into self-connection. Practicing self-care and self-compassion may help you identify blockers to social connection and improve self-esteem, which may help you on your journey toward building quality relationships. Finally, practicing gratitude, limiting or avoiding social media use, and engaging in healthy habits like exercise may also help you on your journey to building a more robust social circle. 

Connecting with a mental health professional

When loneliness persists or whenever you’re feeling its effects, it may be helpful to connect with a mental health professional like a therapist. A therapist may help you learn to develop healthier thought patterns through cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). They may also help you explore feelings and past experiences to identify and address any barriers to connection.

However, not everyone feels comfortable meeting with a therapist in person to discuss their perceptions and feelings of loneliness. Some might feel intimidated, while others may face obstacles to attending in-office appointments at all. In such situations, online therapy can be a more convenient alternative. It allows you to get matched and meet with an online therapist from anywhere you have an internet connection and a personal device, and it’s typically more cost-effective than traditional in-office therapy. Research suggests that online CBT can be an effective way to manage feelings of loneliness and social isolation in many cases.