Being in a relationship can be a very exciting time. However, when a break-up happens, it can leave you feeling hurt and confused. It's common to wonder if it's possible find a new and satisfying relationship, especially if the break-up ended terribly.
If you've experienced a bad break-up, even though you may feel lonely, you are not alone. Also, as difficult as it may feel right now, it is possible to fall in love again. Taking the time to heal from this experience and learning to express your thoughts and feelings will help as you recover from this loss. While everyone reacts to a break-up differently, there are some "Do's and Don'ts" to help you move forward and fall in love again.
Grief is a normal response to loss. Most people associate grief with the death of a friend or loved one. However, any change in circumstances or relationships can trigger a grief response. It's normal to feel sadness and question things, especially after a bad break-up and before you fall in love again. There are different stages of grief, and knowing what to expect and why you feel a certain way at a specific time is all part of the healing process before you are able to fall in love again.
The stages of grief may occur in order for some people. Others may go back and forth between stages until they feel they have recovered from the event. During this time of transition, you may feel frustrated, but it's okay not to be "okay." The stages of grief are as follows:
This is a period where you may feel in shock and tell yourself, "This can't be happening." You may feel like you can never fall in love again.
It's not uncommon to feel angry or upset after the end of a relationship. During this time, many people lash out at their ex.
Often, especially if a relationship lasted for a long time, individuals may feel the need to "make a deal" with their ex. For example, "If you give me another chance, I will do whatever I need to in order to make things work." This will not let you fall in love again.
There comes the point in the grief process where the realization that things are not going to change sets in. This is the time when you learn to accept what has happened (even if it's still painful) and move on. This is also the point when you are in the right headspace to fall in love again.
While not all people experience extreme depression, there is usually some form of sadness that comes with knowing the situation is not going to change. During this time, if the feelings of grief become overwhelming, it may be helpful to talk to someone professionally.
As much as the thought of being alone may make you cringe, looking for a new relationship before you have recovered from your break-up can be a negative thing. Allow yourself time to grieve the loss of your relationship. Give your mind and emotions a chance to heal. Find yourself again. When you have recovered from the break-up completely, you can slowly begin to think about a new relationship. This is important because starting a new relationship before you are over a break-up means you are probably bringing the emotional baggage from being hurt with you. It's not fair to you or your new "someone." You can fall in love again, but you need to give yourself time to heal too.
After a break-up, withdrawing from others may feel like the only way to keep from being hurt again. While personal time to process your thoughts is okay, avoiding people entirely can have adverse effects. You may not want to socialize with large circles of people, but spending time with friends or family who are close to you may help your feelings of loneliness. This may also help you meet someone and you may fall in love again!
You may not need to get rid of everything that is a reminder of your ex. However, things that may cause a painful reaction should be put away. For example, photos, texts, social media, and any gifts or trinkets may cause you to feel overwhelmed. Even if you don't feel like you are ready to get rid of these items entirely, put them in a place that is out of sight until you are prepared to deal with the reminders. This will help you be able to fall in love again.
No matter the reason for the break-up, many people find it easy to blame themselves. Even if you were at fault in the break-up, you cannot go back and change circumstances that have already occurred. If you find that guilt is overwhelming, there are options for help to get in the right headspace for yourself and to fall in love again. (We will discuss these later in this article.)
As tempting as it may be if your relationship has ended, it's best to cease contact with your ex. If you have children with your ex, some communication may be necessary. However, keep it minimal and don't extend your time of communication. This may feel especially challenging if you have unresolved feelings. Still, for your overall mental well-being, and to let you fall in love again, limiting contact will be helpful.
There are several resources to help overcome the trauma of a break-up. Whether you choose to engage in talking with friends or loved ones, use relationship apps, or initiate counseling to help deal with your feelings, keep in mind that there is hope to fall in love again!
We live in a world full of technology. One growing trend is the use of apps. There are apps that help track weight loss, food consumption, and exercise. Emotional Wellness apps are becoming popular. These apps are designed to give individuals an idea of how to process thoughts, redirect negative thoughts, and become aware of thought patterns. Some of the most popular emotional health apps, according to Medical News Today, are the following:
No matter how strong you are, there may be times when you need to talk to someone who is objective, someone who can help you grasp the reality of the things that have happened and help you recover. There are several options for counseling. You may choose to seek the services of a local counselor and visit with them in a formal setting, such as their office. Many towns have wellness centers that offer free or reduced-price counseling services.
If you feel like you would benefit from counseling but are not sure about meeting with someone in person, there are other options. For example, online counseling is a growing trend and has been found to be effective. A study has shown that online therapy can feel more personal than traditional therapy. Ninety-six percent of people using online therapy reported feeling a personal connection with their online therapists as opposed to 91 percent who saw face-to-face therapists. They were also more invested in completing homework the therapists assigned them and occasionally reviewed correspondence between them and their therapists, leading them to move forward with their lives.
With online counseling, such as that offered by BetterHelp, you can connect with therapists who specialize in a variety of mental health and wellness issues, including coping with the trauma of a bad break-up and learning how you can be in the right headspace to fall in love again. Our goal at BetterHelp is to provide professional counseling that is convenient and affordable. Below you'll find reviews of BetterHelp therapists from people experiencing similar issues.
Learning to talk about your thoughts and feelings about falling love so that you can move forward is essential. Whether you spend time with friends, loved ones, or a counselor, talking about your feelings and learning effective coping mechanisms can have a significant impact on your future relationships.