Does He Love Me: How To Tell If His Love Is True

Updated March 13, 2023by BetterHelp Editorial Team

When it comes to dating and relationships, the desire to find “true love” tends to be a top priority for most. If you are someone who is dating with the intent to marry or maintain a long-term relationship, it is important to feel confident that your partner truly loves you. 

Though many are looking for love, it can be a difficult concept to define. The act of loving someone and accepting love can look different for every individual. If you are currently dating someone and have found yourself wondering if he loves you, there are a number of things that may help you determine if the answer is yes.

Wondering If He Is The One?

How To Tell If He Loves You

If you are trying to determine whether a boyfriend or current partner loves you, there are a few factors you can take into consideration. Initially, it may help to take the length of your relationship into account. If you have only been dating for a few weeks or months, you may want to give both yourself and the man you are dating additional time to get to know one another. 

Though it is helpful to remember that neurologically, men and women are roughly the same, studies have shown that men typically take around six months to make the decision that their partner is “the one”. Still, every person is unique, especially when it comes to expressions of love. If you have been dating for a significant amount of time and still find yourself wondering if he loves you, there are certain signs and behaviors to look out for that may help you to better evaluate his true feelings. 

Determine His Love Language

Over the past 20 years, psychological studies have explored the concept of “love language”. Research has determined there are five major love languages that people tend to utilize as a tangible way to express love. 

If your partner has not verbally expressed his love for you, you may want to familiarize yourself with the five love languages to see which ones might apply to your partner. The five major love languages are as follows: 

  1. Gift Giving

    Gift-giving is a fairly straightforward love language that is characterized by someone who expresses love through giving gifts. These gifts don’t necessarily have to be large or expensive. Someone who frequently presents you with small or thoughtful gifts may be expressing their love for you. Thus, if your guy friend is constantly showering you with presents, chances are he's showing you his affection. So, does my guy friend like me? There's a big chance that the answer is yes.

  2. Quality Time

    Quality time tends to be characterized by spending uninterrupted, one-on-one time with a person. Someone who’s love language is quality time may show it by scheduling frequent dates, wanting to spend time at each other’s houses, or just generally making an effort to spend more time with you.

  3. Physical Touch

    While it is not uncommon for the strength of a romantic relationship to rely heavily on physical touch and affection, some people may be more prone to showing their love through physical touch primarily. Physical touch love language has a vital role in a relationship, it can make you and your partner even more intimate. While it is important to consider your own comfort level when it comes to physical touch, a partner who is exceptionally affectionate with you might be expressing their love this way.

  4. Words Of Affirmation

    Positive verbal communication is another love language you may be able to identify in a partner. Though communicating openly tends to be an important aspect of most healthy relationships, someone who shows love through words of affirmation may often use kind, encouraging, and appreciative language when speaking to you.

  5. Acts Of Service

    Doing acts of service is another common love language for many. Acts of service are typically characterized by an unselfish action someone takes to help another. For example, if your partner is someone who enjoys assisting you with day to day errands, fixing things, or similar acts, he may be expressing his love through acts of service. 

If you are not able to determine your boyfriend or partner’s true feelings for you through analyzing his love language, there are a few other steps you can take to get the confirmation or answer you are looking for. 

Ask Him Where He Stands

Though love can be a beautiful thing, it can also be complex and tends to differ greatly in nature between individuals. If you want to know where your partner stands in terms of love for you, it may be best to ask them directly. 

Again, open and honest communication typically lays the foundation for any healthy, lasting relationship. Still, the act of approaching this type of conversation with someone you are dating can be intimidating. If you feel you aren’t ready to ask your partner if he loves you, there are alternatives and ways you can better prepare to address the subject. 

Give The Relationship More Time

If you are feeling uncertain of whether or not your partner loves you and you don’t feel ready to ask them directly, you may want to try simply giving the relationship more time. Taking a step back and evaluating the nature of the relationship, your personal feelings and your partner’s personality can be crucial when it comes to finding true love.

Additionally, if you’re feeling frustrated and have already given the relationship a significant amount of time, it may be beneficial to talk with a licensed therapist that can help you navigate the situation. 

Benefits of Online Therapy

If you are having trouble determining your boyfriend or partner’s true feelings for you, online therapy may be able to help. A therapist might help you to better analyze and explore your partner’s behaviors, along with navigating next steps. 

Online therapy provides an effective and more flexible alternative to in-person therapy. 

Effectiveness of Online Therapy

Recent studies have shown online Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to be equally as effective as traditional in-person therapy. Additionally, online couples therapy has been shown to have positive effects on 70% of couples who participate in treatment. Though you may not be at a stage where seeking couples therapy feels appropriate, individual online therapy may help you to navigate your unique situation. 

Wondering If He Is The One?

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While every person tends to express love differently, taking the time to get to know the person you are dating and determining their love language can be helpful in determining if their love for you is true. Still, love and relationships can be a challenging thing to navigate alone and help from a licensed therapist could be highly beneficial. 

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