How To Tell If Your Man Is In Love With You

Medically reviewed by April Justice, LICSW
Updated May 1, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

When it comes to dating and relationships, the desire to find “true” romantic love tends to be a top priority for most, and many people may wonder how to tell if a guy likes them as a potential romantic partner. If you are dating with the intent to marry or maintain a long-term relationship, it is important to feel confident that your partner truly loves you. 

Though many are looking for love, it can be a difficult concept to define. The act of loving someone and accepting love can look different for every individual. If you are currently dating someone and have found yourself wondering if he loves you, there are several things that may help you determine if the answer is yes.

Wondering if he is the one?

Signs a man loves you

If you are trying to determine whether a current male partner loves you, there are a few factors you can take into consideration. Initially, it may help to take the length of your relationship into account. If you have only been dating for a few weeks or months, you may want to give both yourself and the man you are dating additional time to get to know one another. 

Gender-based studies have shown that men typically take around six months to decide that their partner is “the one.”  However, it’s important to remember that there are no absolute brain differences between people of any sex.

Still, every person is unique, especially when it comes to expressions of love. If you have been dating for a significant amount of time and still find yourself wondering if as head over heels for you as you are for him, there are certain signs and behaviors to look out for that may help you to better evaluate his true feelings. 

First, determine his love language

Over the past 20 years, psychological studies have explored the concept of “love language”. Research has determined there are five major love languages, or preferences for certain ways of expressing love over others. If your partner has not verbally expressed his love for you, you may want to familiarize yourself with the five love languages to see which ones might apply to your partner. 

The five major love languages are as follows. 

  1. Gift Giving
    Gift-giving is characterized by someone who expresses love through giving gifts. These gifts don’t necessarily have to be large or expensive for the person to be happy with them. Someone who frequently presents you with small or thoughtful gifts may be expressing their love for you. 
  2. Quality Time
    Quality time tends to be characterized by spending uninterrupted, one-on-one time with a person. Someone whose love language is quality time may show it by scheduling frequent dates, wanting to spend time at each other’s houses, or maintaining consistent eye contact during conversations.
  3. Physical Touch
    Physical touch has a vital role in a relationship; it can make you and your partner even more intimate. While it is important to consider your own comfort level when it comes to physical touch, a partner who is exceptionally affectionate with you might be expressing their love this way.
  4. Words Of Affirmation
    Though communicating openly tends to be an important aspect of most healthy relationships, someone who shows love through words of affirmation may often use kind, encouraging, and appreciative language when speaking to you.
  5. Acts Of Service
    Acts of service are typically characterized by an unselfish action someone takes to help another. For example, if your partner is someone who enjoys assisting you with day-to-day errands, fixing things, or similar acts, he may be expressing his love through acts of service.

Ask him where he stands

Though love can be a beautiful thing, it can also be complex and tends to differ greatly in nature between individuals. If you want to know where your partner stands in terms of love for you, it may be best to ask them directly. Again, open and honest communication typically lays the foundation for any healthy, lasting relationship. 

Give the relationship more time

If you are feeling uncertain of whether your partner loves you and you don’t feel ready to ask them directly, you may want to try simply giving the relationship more time. Taking a step back and evaluating the nature of the relationship, your personal feelings, and your partner’s personality can be crucial when it comes to finding true love.

Additionally, if you’re feeling frustrated and have already given the relationship a significant amount of time, it may be beneficial to talk with a licensed therapist who can help you navigate the situation. 

Benefits of online therapy

If you are having trouble determining your boyfriend or partner’s true feelings for you, online therapy may be able to help. A therapist might help you to better analyze and explore your partner’s behaviors, along with navigating next steps. Online therapy provides an effective and more flexible alternative to in-person therapy. 

Effectiveness of online therapy

Recent studies have shown online Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to be equally as effective as traditional in-person therapy. Additionally, online couples therapy has been shown to have positive effects on 70% of couples who participate in treatment. Though you may not be at a stage where seeking couples therapy feels appropriate, individual online therapy may help you navigate your unique situation. 

Wondering if he is the one?

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While every person tends to express love differently, taking the time to get to know the person you are dating and determining their love language can be helpful in determining if their love for you is true. If you’re dating a man in love with you, you’ll probably find at least one or two signs of that love, even if he doesn’t say it often. Still, love and relationships can be a challenging thing to navigate alone, and help from a licensed therapist could be highly beneficial. 
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