I Love Your Soul: The Power Of Intimate Connections

Medically reviewed by April Justice, LICSW
Updated April 26, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

The search for deep, meaningful connection and understanding in relationships has likely existed since the beginning of time. We often think that physical love or sex can be all it takes to have a real, "intimate" connection with someone. However, the art of true intimacy may go deeper than the physical aspect – it can be an emotional experience where you feel completely connected to your partner past a superficial, surface-level bond. Benefits of this type of intimacy can include stress relief, better relationships, and improved mental and physical health. Focusing on communication, acknowledging each other’s emotions, and taking time for yourself can be helpful when fostering intimacy. You may also wish to try online couples therapy to address any obstacles to intimacy you may be experiencing.

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What makes a soulmate?

Soulmates can be thought of as extremely special connections. When you feel you have met a soulmate, it may be like your life purpose is coming true. You may feel like you are living in a song on the radio. 

A soulmate can be someone that you feel comfortable with. Human beings tend to be social animals, and we often have an internal drive to find a match. When we feel attracted to somebody, we might wonder whether they could be our soulmate or twin flame. Here is a bit of insight on that question.

What makes people compatible?

Online dating sites may be places to potentially meet your soulmate, soul match, or the person that you're supposed to spend your life with. The idea behind online dating is generally to find someone you're compatible with and weed out the rest. This may seem like an easy process, but it might not be. Maybe you're a film buff, and you want your partner to appreciate movies the same way you do. Perhaps you're an adventurous person, and you'd like to go on hikes or travel the world, and it's important to you that your partner wants to be adventurous with you. 

There may be many avenues through which you can find your soulmate or someone that speaks to your soul. According to Michael J Rosenvelt, a professor of sociology at Stanford University, it's generally indicated that arranged marriages aren't necessarily as different as we tend to believe they are from "regular" marriages in Western culture. You might think, if you believe in fate or that things are predetermined, that fate is what brings you to be set up with this person in an arranged marriage. People can find their soulmates in a variety of different settings and under a multitude of different circumstances, and you may never quite know when you'll come across the right person.

Finding a soulmate

You may want to find somebody you can spend your life with and whom you have deep compatibility with because that is generally the epitome of what a soulmate is. 

According to Dr. John Gottman, who founded the Gottman Institute and established the Gottman Theory with his wife, Julie Gottman, the most fundamental aspect of a relationship can be how a couple interacts with one another. It's normally about meaningful interactions, spending quality time with each other, and understanding the other person's needs. This can be a way to determine whether someone could be your soulmate. You may want to know that the needs of each partner are valued and considered. You may want to be able to agree with each other and feel supported, as well as have fun. When you are connected to someone’s soul, this may be how you feel. 

The Gottman theory is generally an approach to couples therapy that mainly focuses on the Sound Relationship House Theory. It usually breaks this theory down into an assessment where a couple's relationship is evaluated based on communication, consent, and intimacy.

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How intimacy may strengthen relationships

Many believe that intimacy is a key element of any strong relationship. It can be the path to developing closeness and connection between two people, and it may provide the foundation for a lasting bond. 

Intimacy can be more than just physical closeness; it can be emotional and mental as well. Familiarity often helps to nurture a relationship and provides the stability needed for a meaningful connection between two people.

Couples can build an intimate connection through communication and trust. Intimacy can often be characterized by mutual understanding, trust, acceptance, and support between partners. Intimacy can allow couples to express their authentic selves in the other person's presence without fear of judgment or rejection.

The benefits of intimacy

Recent studies show that developing intimacy in a relationship can have many benefits. Intimacy is often expressed through physical affection, such as hugging, kissing, and cuddling, which usually releases the hormone oxytocin. Oxytocin can create an emotional bond between two people. Intimate physical contact can make both partners feel loved and appreciated while assisting them to relax in times of anxiety and stress, potentially increasing their overall happiness within the relationship.

Stress reduction 

Intimacy can improve your overall health and well-being. Studies have shown that engaging in intimate activities can reduce stress levels and improve overall mental health. This can improve your life quality, potentially enabling you to enjoy better sleep, a healthier lifestyle, and an improved mood. 

Enhanced relationships 

Intimacy may strengthen the bond between couples and can affect relationships. This familiarity can also improve communication, potentially allowing for more meaningful conversations and understanding between partners.

Improved overall health

Having a strong bond with someone can fight the effects of stress.

Intimacy has frequently been linked to improved overall health and lower rates of certain illnesses. In addition, studies have found that people who engage in intimate relationships usually have lower levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, and higher levels of oxytocin, the "bonding hormone."

Better mental health

Intimacy can also provide psychological benefits, such as increased happiness and self-esteem.

Additionally, regular physical contact between partners usually releases endorphins, or hormones associated with pleasure and contentment. This can foster an overall sense of well-being within the relationship and even improve communication skills since it's often easier to express one's thoughts when feeling relaxed and happy. 

How to create intimacy in your relationships 

Dedicated time with your partner may strengthen your bond. This dedicated time can also be used for activities like walking, playing games together, or doing something else you both enjoy. 

Most of us love to feel appreciated, so try to express gratitude for all your partner does for you—even the small things! Showing appreciation can make them feel valued and loved, which may give them a sense of importance within the relationship and potentially make them more likely to reciprocate with kind deeds of their own. 

Honesty tends to be essential in any relationship, as it generally allows people to trust each other and build a more profound connection over time. Communication can also be key when building trust. You might make sure to talk openly about any issues or worries you may have so that they don’t fester into more significant problems down the line.  

Tips for overcoming obstacles to intimacy

Intimacy may be one part of many relationships, but it can be challenging to achieve if the two of you are facing obstacles. Obstacles to intimacy can come from many sources, including a lack of communication, past traumas, and day-to-day stress. 

If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.

Focus on communication

Open and honest communication may be essential for building trust and understanding between people. If you’re having trouble communicating with your partner, try setting aside time to discuss your feelings without distractions or judgment. This may help both of you feel heard and understood, which can open the doors to greater intimacy. 

Acknowledge each other’s feelings 

It can be vital that each person in a relationship has an opportunity to express their feelings without fear of judgment or criticism. 

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Take time for yourself 

Both partners should generally take time out for themselves now and then. This might mean taking up a hobby that encourages self-reflection or taking some time off from work so that you can relax and recharge your batteries. 

Taking time away from your partner can also allow you to reflect on how far your relationship has come and how much further it still has left to go—and that insight may be the push you need to get past the current obstacle standing in your way.  

Benefits of online therapy

One of the most significant benefits of online therapy for relationships may be that it empowers couples to get help from anywhere, anytime.

With the help of video conferencing tools, therapists can work with couples without them having to leave the comfort of their homes or take time off from work. This often makes it easier for couples to get help when needed and may allow them to keep up with their relationship goals, even during hectic schedules and difficult times. 

The effectiveness of online therapy

Online therapists typically use science-backed techniques proven to help resolve relationship issues. These techniques can help couples build stronger relationships, repair trust, and improve communication skills. As a result, couples can get the tools and skills they need to navigate their relationship issues effectively.

Research has shown that online therapy is usually as effective as conventional therapy sessions in helping relationships succeed. Various studies have indicated that online therapy platforms typically offer as many positive outcomes in reducing relationship conflicts and improving partner communication skills as traditional face-to-face methods - if not more! 

Takeaway

The takeaway from all of this may be that developing true intimacy doesn’t usually happen overnight. It's often a journey that may require vulnerability, communication, and a desire to be truly known by another person. We may create relationships built on a deep foundation of trust and mutual understanding by achieving an emotional connection with our loved ones. Acknowledging your partner’s feelings, focusing on effective and healthy communication, and taking time for yourself can help you forge an intimate connection with the person you love. In addition, online therapy can be a helpful tool to help you and your partner grow closer.
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