Signs You're Lovesick And How To Cope

Love can be a profound experience. However, it can also result in lovesickness, a condition characterized by unwanted symptoms like mood swings, despair, and obsessive behaviors. What does it mean to be lovesick, and how do you cope? Read on to learn what lovesickness is, its causes, its symptoms, and steps to overcome it. 

What does it mean to be lovesick? 

While lovesickness isn't an official medical diagnosis, many experts agree that the strong feelings that come from unrequited love or lost love can significantly impact physical and mental health. LovesicknessIt can also cause significant changes in behavior. 

Being lovesick isn't a new experience. Medical texts back in ancient Greece and Rome talk about the undesirable side of love and how it can cause an array of side effects. New research confirms that the early stages of love can cause many of the same symptoms as chemical addiction, including craving, euphoria, dependence, withdrawal, and relapse. So, it's no surprise that when that love is unrequited or lost somehow, physical and emotional side effects may follow. 

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Lovesickness is believed to be caused by how love can alter the serotonin, dopamine, noradrenaline, cortisol, and testosterone levels in a person's brain and body. Attraction and sexual arousal can impact these chemicals significantly. However, these compounds are also associated with obsessive thought patterns and motivation. As a result, being lovesick can quickly turn from internal strife to a potentially dangerous situation if it's not appropriately addressed. 

Having a preexisting mental health condition like anxiety disorders, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), or borderline personality disorder (BPD) can intensify feelings of lovesickness. On the other hand, lovesickness can intensify the symptoms of existing mental health conditions. 

Several situations can cause the symptoms associated with being lovesick, including:

• Being ghosted
• Getting rejected 
• An unexpected break-up
• Being in love with someone you can't be with (like a married person or boss)
• Being unable to physically be with the one you love 
• The death of a partner 
• Getting ignored by a romantic interest 
• General desire for love

Any situation that causes one to yearn for another in a way that results in negative feelings and symptoms can cause lovesickness. However, not every person who faces these situations will feel lovesick. The experiences of love, relationships, and heartbreak are unique to the individual and can present differently in different people. 

When you're lovesick, you might become consumed by feelings or thoughts of yearning for romantic love from a specific person. 

While the experiences are different for each person and situation, the typical mental and physical symptoms and signs of lovesickness can include: 

• Constant thoughts of the person you love 
• Feeling unmotivated 
• Lack of concentration 
• Replaying conversations and encounters in your head
• Insomnia 
• Mood changes
• Spending a lot of time waiting for the person to reach out
• Isolation 
• Intrusive thoughts 
• Depression
• Despair 
• Frenzy
• Anxiety
• Chest pain 
• Tension in the shoulders and neck
• Sweating
• Nausea and stomach pain 
• Loss of appetite

A person may also experience intense grief, frustration, and sadness when they can't be near the one they love. In some instances, being lovesick can cause some potentially dangerous behaviors, including jealousy, obsessive behaviors, stalking, theft, or violence either toward themselves or the object of their affection.*

Lovesickness can also result in a person disregarding their responsibilities and becoming completely consumed with trying to contact or see the person they love. 

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How to cope with lovesickness 

While there's no immediate cure for lovesickness or a broken heart, there are many stepsthings a person can takedo to help them cope and move forward. 

Avoid the person as much as possible 

When you're in love with someone, the last thing you probably want to do is avoid them. However, in cases of lovesickness, this could be the best optionthing for your mental health and moving on. Consider unfollowing them on social media, discontinuing any outreach, and avoiding running into them in person. 

Try to distract your mind 

When you're lovesick, it can be challenging to think about anything but the person you love. However, the less you think about them, the easier it may be to move forward without them. When you're trying to keep your mind off the person of your desire, it can be helpfulwise to participate in healthy distractions like:

• Journaling
• Hobbies
• Exercise
• Listening to music
• Spending timeHanging out with friends 

Try mindfulness practices

Mindfulness practices, like yoga, breathwork, and meditation, can help you get in touch with the present moment. Being in touch with the present moment can be useful in keeping your thoughts off your intense emotions or potential future or past scenarios. Mindfulness practices often encourage people to practice gratitude, which is associated with greater happiness and reduced depressive symptoms. 

Give yourself time

Moving on after a break-up can take time. Lovesickness is no different. Try to give yourself time, rest, and compassion as you navigate the complex feelings associated with unrequited or lost love. Being patient with yourself and allowing yourself the space and time to process can be a helpful tool for moving forward. 

Lean on friends or family 

Friends and family can be critical in times of struggle, including when you're facing lovesickness. Try to communicate with a friend or family member you trust who can hold you accountable, listen to your feelings, and help build you up when you're feeling down. The people in your life can support you as you work your way through your feelings and emotions.  

Reach out to a therapist 

Reaching out to a therapist can be incredibly beneficial for coping with lovesickness. When emotions become overwhelming, a therapist can provide a supportive and non-judgmental space to understand and work through these feelings. They can help identify underlying patterns or issues that might be contributing to the intensity of the lovesick experience. Therapy can offer strategies to manage obsessive thoughts, emotional distress, and physical symptoms that can accompany lovesickness. A therapist can also offer customized healthy coping strategies to help you navigate the complexities of love, relationships, and lovesickness. 

If lovesickness has you feeling worn out or unable to leave your home to attend in-person therapy sessions, online therapy might be an option worth considering. With online therapy, you can attend sessions wherever you're most comfortable.

Additionally, research shows that online therapy is just as effective as traditional therapy at treating common mental health conditions that are often associated with lovesickness, like anxiety and depression.