Taking A Chance On Love: The Potential Risks And Reward

Medically reviewed by Julie Dodson, MA
Updated March 15, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team
Content warning: Please be advised, the below article might mention trauma-related topics that could be triggering to the reader. Please see our Get Help Now page for more immediate resources.

There can be countless reasons someone may feel apprehensive when it comes to taking a chance on love. You may be someone who has previously been hurt or heartbroken by a partner. Conversely, you may never have had a romantic relationship, or you may have found it difficult to meet a potential partner. Many people harbor insecurities that result in feelings of inferiority, or they simply feel they lack the skills to serve as viable partners. When you’re able to identify the reasons you’re having trouble finding love and address them accordingly, you may be able to enjoy the rewards that a loving relationship can bring. In many cases, working with a therapist online or in person can help you work through roadblocks and embrace the process of taking a chance on love.

Having trouble taking a chance on love?

Determine what is holding you back

There can be a multitude of reasons to feel uncertain when it comes to taking a chance on love. By its very definition, the term “taking a chance” implies the very real possibility of risk. While there can be risks involved when it comes to dating and falling in love, there are normally opportunities for benefits as well. 

If you find yourself struggling to take the leap toward love, it could be helpful to determine what exactly is holding you back. Evaluating yourself, your past, and what you are looking for in a relationship can be helpful in identifying which risks concern you the most when it comes to love. Identifying the root causes of your concerns may help you better navigate and overcome your relationship aversions. 

Overcoming poor past experiences

It is common for people dating or engaging in relationships to have had bad experiences with past partners. You may be someone who has had your heart broken in the past. You may have experienced a difficult breakup or even a divorce. 

Additionally, you could be feeling burnt out by the challenges of dating. Experiencing a lack of connection with others, awkward first dates, and getting ghosted can all contribute to a fear or lack of desire to pursue love. 

While moving on from bad past experiences in love can undoubtedly be challenging, it is possible. Depending on the nature of past relationship trauma, you may want to consider speaking with a therapist. If therapy is not an option, it may help to talk with friends or loved ones.

Navigating insecurity and fear of vulnerability

The challenges of navigating personal insecurities can often contribute to difficulty in pursuing relationships. While it is not uncommon for people to feel that their physical appearance, social status, intelligence, or other personality traits make them “undateable,” this is often not the case. Regardless, personal feelings of insecurity and self-doubt can be a predominant reason a person chooses to avoid love. 

Additionally, opening yourself up to the possibility of love typically requires a level of vulnerability. When battling insecurities, the act of being vulnerable can be exceptionally difficult. If you feel that insecurity or fear of vulnerability could be holding you back from a relationship, it may help to take the time to look inward and work on yourself. For example, if you feel insecure regarding your career, it may be helpful to temporarily focus on achieving work-related goals rather than relationship pursuits. 

Trouble finding the right person

Another commonality among people struggling to find love can be the difficulty of finding the right person. This can be exceptionally difficult to overcome as every individual is unique. You may be someone who experiences social anxiety, which can make the prospect of meeting a potential partner intimidating. If you are someone who lives in a small town, you may feel there is a lack of potential partners. There can be countless reasons that the inability to find the right person can deter someone from taking a chance on love. 

While there may not be a definitive, clear-cut guide to finding the right person, it can be helpful to evaluate what you are specifically looking for in a partner and weigh your options from there. For example, you may want to try online dating or attempt to branch out at social events. 

Overcoming roadblocks in love

Along with the potential roadblocks detailed above, there could be several additional factors holding you back from taking the leap in love. Still, if you can identify the things that may be holding you back, it could help you to better overcome these issues in a healthy way. 

Overcoming roadblocks in the pursuit of love can often look very similar to self-care and self-improvement. Things like journaling, exercising, reading, and speaking openly with friends or loved ones can be extremely helpful in identifying what exactly is holding you back, and how to best overcome it.

Due to the complex nature of people and relationships, it may be helpful to consult a therapist who may better guide you in preparing to take a chance on love. 

Having trouble taking a chance on love?

Benefits of online therapy

Taking a chance on love can be a big step in life, and having the guidance of a therapist can be very helpful. A therapist can often help you analyze yourself and work through past traumas, insecurities, and fears. Online therapy can be especially beneficial, as it typically offers the opportunity to discuss and work through challenging issues from the comfort of your own home at a time that works for you.

Effectiveness of online therapy

It is not uncommon for underlying symptoms of anxiety or depression to contribute to a person’s fear or difficulty taking a chance on romantic relationships. Cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, has proven helpful in treating symptoms of anxiety and depression, with online therapy being shown to be equally as effective as traditional in-office therapy. 


There can be many reasons people hesitate to take a chance on love. For instance, they may have had poor experiences in romantic relationships in the past. It’s possible they experience insecurity or fear being vulnerable with another person. Or perhaps they’ve simply had trouble finding the right person. No matter the reason behind the avoidance of taking a chance on love, identifying it and addressing the root of the issue can be helpful. Working with a licensed mental health professional locally or through an online therapy platform can help you open yourself up to love.
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