Tantric Love: Where Spirituality And Sexuality Meet

By Sarah Cocchimiglio|Updated August 1, 2022
CheckedMedically Reviewed By Erika Schad, LCP, CWLC

When you hear the phrases “tantric love” or “tantric sex,” what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Somepeople may be vaguely familiar with the term “tantric;” others may have heard it enough to relate it to stereotypes of trying to achieve long-lasting orgasms or yoga-style sexual positions. Some may have practiced tantra and know that its focus is actually on enlightenment, a mind-body connection, and a deeper relationship with themselves or their partner. Tantric love or sex is not necessarily just about sexual pleasure. It’s an age-old practice that aims to unite more deeply spirituality, sexuality, and mindfulness.  

The Origins Of Tantra 

Tantric love is rooted in a combination of ancient Buddhist and Hindu traditions. In fact, the practices were recorded in some ancient Sanskrit texts. (Sanskrit is the language that Hindu scriptures and classical Indian poems were written in.)

These texts embody oral tradition that was passed down in India around the 6th century. In these traditions, practitioners worshipped the god Shiva and the goddess Shakti, who represented male consciousness and female power, respectively.

In Sanskrit, the word tantra is derived from a word that means “to weave.” Tantric love or sex is often considered a way to weave together the physical and spiritual or a way to weave together intimacy and deep connection during a sexual experience. 

Tantric Love And Sex 

Have You Been Thinking About Experimenting With Tantric Love?

Tantric practices with a partner are often about building a deep, harmonious, profound connection. People also sometimes use tantric practices alone to build a stronger, sensual connection with themselves. Whether practiced alone or with a partner, tantra focuses on enlightenment.  

Tantric Practices Are About More Than Gratifying Physical Desires 

Tantric sex involves more than striving to reach orgasm. With tantric love, the focus is on experiencing an authentic deep bond with someone you love or with yourself. With a partner, energies may merge and harmonize so you become whole together. People often experience it more as a sacred, selfless, or spiritual act than one of physical gratification. 

Tantric Love Takes Time 

Often, a desire-driven and goal-orientedsexual act may take place rapidly and be over quickly. In the experience of tantra, taking your time, savoring your connection, and moving slowly are prioritized. In fact, in ancient times it was not uncommon for people to spend days engaged in tantra. 

Tantric Love Is Considered Sacred 

Sometimes, society portrays sex as something taboo. However, tantric sex takes a completely different approach. The sexual act stems from the deepest creative force within a person. In tantric practices, the human genitalia are considered a source of sacred power, and bodies are meant to be treated with reverence. 

Tantric Love Involves The Whole Body—And The Mind And Spirit 

Tantric love is about expanding sexual energy to forge a deep connection. One experience is that energy moves from the genitals to the rest of the body. Any part of the body may experience pleasure during the act of tantric sex and love. In addition to the body, tantric love also engages the mind and spirit. 

Meditation, breathing exercises, and tantric massage may all set the mood and help you establish a deeper connection by involving the whole body. 

Tantric Love Is Usually Ritualistic 

As it’s considered a sacred act, rituals—such as massage, meditation, and prolonged eye contact—are traditionally an essential part of tantra. The rituals may be based on the idea of taking the time to worship and adore the sacredness of each other’s bodies and sexual energies. 

If tantric acts take more time and aren’t focused onphysical gratification, people may wonder why they would engage in the ritual. However, many people find that tantric acts have powerful benefits for their sex life, relationship with themselves or partners, and sense of mindfulness. 

Benefits Of Tantric Love 

A Deeper Connection With Yourself Or Your Partner 

A focus of the practice of tantra is to form or strengthen a deep and powerful union with your partner or yourself on both a spiritual and a physical level. Since tantric love is an experience that can consume your mind, body, and spirit, you may ultimately deepen your bond on all of these levels. 

Developing More Trust 

A profound trust may come, along with a deeper connection. Part of tantric love is working to prolong the experience while you’re in a position of vulnerability. It can be an insightful trust-building exercise. 

Increased Pleasure 

While tantric love is not focused just on physical gratification, it often results in more physical pleasure. The deep mind-body connection can lead to stronger orgasms that may last longer.  

The Possibility Of Multiple Orgasms For Both Men And Women 

In tantric practices, people usually try to postpone their orgasms, which may result in longer and more frequent orgasms. Tantric practices may prolong the experience of pleasure for hours. 

Mental And Physical Health Benefits 

Tantric sex (and other healthy, safe, fulfilling sexual practices) may result in a host of proven benefits for physical and mental health, including:

  • The release of “feel good” hormonesendorphins and oxytocin
  • Alleviating or lessening pain because of the release of hormones. 
  • Strengthening the immune system. 
  • Better sleep. 
  • Ease of stress and anxiety. 
  • Lower risk of heart attack and lower blood pressure. 
  • Reduction of risk of prostate cancer. 
  • Increased sexual desire. 
  • Glowing, younger-looking skin. 

These benefits may be incentives to incorporate tantric love practices into your life.  

Strategies To Get Started With Tantric Love Practices 

At first glance, tantric love may seem complicated. However, you don’t have to be an expert in the art of tantra to incorporate these powerful practices into your life. It can be simple to introduce tantric love into your routine with a few ideas that may be quite simple to try:

Find A Place That’s Relaxing And Free From Distractions. A safe, relaxing, comfortable environment can help set the stage. 

Set Your Intentions At The Beginning. You can start by spending time considering the journey on which you’re about to embark. Try to be clear with yourself (and with a partner if you have one) about what you hope to gain. If you’re with a partner, you might discuss what you can offer to each other and what you hope to gain both as a couple and individually. This goal-setting can enhance your connection and the experience. 

Try Meditation. This can simply mean using your senses to be aware of your surroundings and stay in the present moment. Before beginning tantric activities, you might try meditating. If you’re with a partner, you might meditate facetoface in a shared space. You may wish to sit cross-legged while facing each other or with your legs wrapped around each other. Some partners practice making steady eye contact and honoring the divine creative force within each other. While meditating, partners may synchronize their breathing so that they’re inhaling and exhaling together. Some people first engage in these practices with their clothes on and then again with their clothes off. This can set the scene for a powerful experience. 

Approach Your Body And Your Partner’s Body With An Attitude Of Reverence. 

You might find that you feel fully committed and present with slow, worshipful tantric massage, bathing, sensual feeding or eating, and just touching with reverence. 

Adjust Expectations. If your perception of sex has been that it’s a linear act that ends with orgasm, you might try simply being present in the moment without any expectation of what’s going to happen or any judgement. 

Check In With Yourself And Your Partner About How You’re Feeling. 

At its heart, tantric love is often about mindfulness. You might try being fully aware of how you’re feeling at each stage of the experience and communicating your feelings to your partner. Try tuning into how your partner is feeling. 

Don’t Rush. It may feel counterintuitive to hold back from orgasm, but postponing the climax can make the pleasure last longer and increase sensuality and mindfulness. 

Strengthening Your Sex Life, Connections, And Fulfillment Through Therapy 

Have You Been Thinking About Experimenting With Tantric Love?

A licensed mental health professional can help you find ways to strengthen your sex life, find greater fulfillment, and enhance connections. Research shows that online platforms are valuable resources for people who want to address issues with intimacy and sex. For example,a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that online therapy helped increase female sexual arousal and fulfillment. The report mentions that people may find online therapy to be a more private forum for discussing sensitive topics such as sexuality. Researchers found that it is also cost-effective and easily accessible. All of these findings are similar to those from a number of studies that have found online therapy to be an effective form of treatment for many types of mental health-related concerns. 

With BetterHelp, you can meet online with a licensed mental health professional at your convenience, from the comfort of your own home or wherever you have an internet connection. A licensed therapist can guide you and your partner on the path toward becoming closer sexually and emotionally whilealso helping you individually.  

Counselor Reviews

“Stephanie is a gem! She’s very thoughtful, thorough, honest, insightful but most of all helpful. This is coming from a person that never wanted to do counseling and just “knew” I didn’t need it. She’s been key in helping my wife and I find our better place. She made us grow as a couple and individually. Thanks Steph!”

“Karen has helped me to be able to look outside the box to find how to find possible solutions to my sex life with my wife. A most insightful approach which I had partly recognised before but not taken seriously or realised just how I felt about it.”


With benefits like a deeper connection, more pleasure, and better health, there are a lot of reasons to try tantric love practices in your relationship. A lasting and fulfilling relationship is possible—all you need are the right tools. Take the first step today.

Helpful mental health resources delivered to your inbox
For Additional Help & Support With Your Concerns
Speak with a Licensed Therapist
The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.