Common Goals Of Healthy Relationships And How To Reach Them

Every relationship is unique, but there can be some qualities and goals that healthy relationships may tend to talk, like wanting to trust each other, have things in common, and have common expectations around the future, for example. If you are interested in cultivating a stronger and healthier relationship, consider the following goals strong couples may have in common. Later, we’ll also offer a few tips for how to strengthen your relationship. 

Common Goals Of Healthy Relationships

Relationship goals can vary widely from one couple to the next, but below are a few goals that may be common in healthy relationships.

1. They Aim To Love Each Other Unconditionally

Strong couples often aim to love each other unconditionally. This means supporting each other through thick and thin, good times and bad. When things get hard, someone makes a mistake, or both people are going through a tough time, the love is still there. In a healthy relationship, it often feels clear that your love for each other is strong and unwavering.

Tips For Developing This:

• Consider your partner’s feelings and perspective.

• Try to love your partner for who they are, rather than trying to change them into someone they are not.

• Communicate your hopes and dreams to each other.

If you’re struggling to love your partner unconditionally, try putting yourself in their shoes. Think of how your words and decisions have an impact on them. Take the time to communicate with each other about your hopes and dreams so you stay on the same page. These talks can also be a great way to reassure each other that your goals can be achieved together.

2. They Want To Trust Each Other

Trust is often a big goal in healthy relationships. Couples often have parts of their lives that are separate from each other, like work, hobbies, and spending time with friends, so it’s important that couples can trust each other, especially when they’re not together. Jealousy can tear a relationship apart, so building trust is often key. 

Tips For Developing This:

• Avoid trying to control your significant other.

• If jealousy or insecurity come up, talk about it and work through it before it becomes a problem.

• Be open and honest with each other.

If you and your partner have established trust between you, try not to let negative thoughts or unsubstantiated worries poison your relationship. Be open with each other as soon as any doubts come to mind and try to resolve them before they become a bigger issue. Give each other space when it’s needed.

3. They Have Things In Common

Many couples these days like to have at least a few things in common. These could be values, interests, hobbies, and more. It’s often helpful to have some things in common with your partner. This way, there are at least a few things you enjoy doing together, and you can spend time together doing something you both like. That said, it is possible to build a relationship with someone you have only a little in common with, too. 

Tips For Developing This:

• Try to consistently learn new things about each other.

• Try new things together to discover more interests.

• Plan dates and quality time around common interests.

One good way to build a strong relationship is to never assume you know your partner completely, and to stay open to learning new things about them. People change. By accepting that, you can remain open to learning new things about each other. You can grow together when you celebrate the things that connect you to your partner and incorporate them into your plans.

4. But They Want To Have Their Own Things, Too

In addition to having some things in common, it’s also important for many couples to have things that are their own. For example, these could be work interests, hobbies, and time spent with friends. Being in a close-knit relationship can be great, but it’s also healthy for each partner to have their own individual identity. Carving out this independence can also keep you from feeling like you’re trapped in your relationship. You might also find that spending some time apart also gives you the chance to miss each other and may allow you both to appreciate the time you spend together more.

Tips For Developing This:

• Encourage each other to pursue separate passions and interests. 

• Try to make separate plans with friends.

• Accept and support the parts of your partner’s life that are not yours.

While time together as a couple is important, it’s also important to carve out time for each person’s own interests, so each person is able to retain their own identity and independence, rather than veering into co-dependency. The goal can be to find a balance between spending time together and doing things solo, with the things that you do apart making you happy and encouraging your sense of self.

5. They Want To Build A Future Together

Finally, one last common goal of strong couples is to have a commitment to building a future together in some way. For many, it’s important for partners to be on the same page when it comes to what they want and where they’re going. These ideas for the future can vary greatly from one couple to the next but might include things like moving in together, marriage, children, location, career plans, and other important factors. By discussing expectations and keeping each other updated as things evolve, you can create more stability and minimize surprises in the long run. 

Tips For Developing This:

• Be clear about what you want out of the relationship.

• Make honesty and communication a priority.

• Talk with your partner about any big life changes.

To cultivate commitment to building a future together, it can be important to communicate with each other, be clear about your expectations, and sometimes be willing to make compromises along the way. Committed couples are often determined to make their relationship work over the long-term.

Tips For Strengthening Your Relationship

If you are looking for ways to strengthen your relationship, you can consider some of the following suggestions: 

1. Start Small

Sometimes these goals of healthy couples can seem so lofty that achieving them feels impossible. Rather than get overwhelmed with trying to accomplish all of them at once, try working on taking small steps to get you and your partner where you both want to be. 

2. Go On Dates

It can be easy to get caught up in routines and chores and to let romance fall by the wayside, especially when you and your partner have been together for a while. Going on dates can be a great way to get to know your partner on a deeper level and strengthen your connection. For this, consider making it a point to go on a date at least once a month to reconnect with your partner and make new memories with them.

3. Show Each Other Appreciation

Try to make an effort to show appreciation for the things your partner does for you, and vice versa. It can be easy to take each other for granted and to come to expect the little acts of kindness your partner does for you, so try to let your partner know that you are thankful for the things they do for you.

4. Take Care Of Yourself

Your own mental health and how you are doing personally can have a major impact on your relationship. If you’re trying to strengthen your relationship, it may help to also take some time to really focus on yourself, your thoughts, your emotions, and your behaviors to try to develop the tools and skills for a strong and healthy relationship.

How Therapy Can Help

While you can take steps to improve your relationship on your own, sometimes, you might want a little help. Getting the help of a professional can be beneficial because they are experienced with interpersonal relationships and well-versed in ways to improve these relationships. Trained counselors can help you understand yourself better and help you develop the tools you need to have healthy and successful relationships.

Improving as a couple can involve working individually or together. If you want to work through your relationship concerns on your own, you can connect with an individual counselor through BetterHelp; and if you want to work through your relationship concerns as a couple, you can use ReGain to connect with a couples counselor. Coordinating multiple schedules and trekking into an office for an appointment can be challenging and time-consuming, but since both of these services are online, you can talk to your counselor when and where it is convenient and comfortable for you and your partner. 

Research has demonstrated the effectiveness of online therapy for couples. For example, one such study conducted a randomized controlled trial to examine the effects of an online couples therapy program on relationship and individual functioning. It found that the couples who completed the online program reported “significant improvements” in relationship satisfaction and relationship confidence, as well as “significant improvements in multiple domains of individual functioning.”

Below you’ll find some reviews of BetterHelp counselors from people experiencing similar concerns.

Counselor Reviews

“Stephanie is a gem! She’s very thoughtful, thorough, honest, insightful but most of all helpful. This is coming from a person that never wanted to do counseling and just “knew” I didn’t need it. She’s been key in helping my wife and I find our better place. She made us grow as a couple and individually. Thanks, Steph!”

“This is my first time using an online counseling platform and I couldn’t be happier. The interactions with Theresa have been positive and profoundly useful. Since I started using this platform, my husband and I have signed up for online marriage counseling which is going very well. I will never again have a need to miss work to attend an in-office meeting with my counselor.”

Takeaway

Different couples may have very different goals for their relationship, but oftentimes, there are some common goals that strong couples may have, such as wanting to trust each other, love each other unconditionally, and have some things in common. If you are looking for ways to strengthen your relationship, you can try some of the tips listed above, and for additional support, online therapy for individuals or couples can help. Take the first step toward a more fulfilling relationship.