Common Goals Of Healthy Relationships And How To Reach Them

Medically reviewed by Nikki Ciletti, M.Ed, LPC
Updated February 22, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Every relationship is unique, but there may be some qualities and shared goals that couples tend to have in common for their relationship. These common goals of good relationships might include trusting each other fully, developing effective communication, having things in common, and discussing expectations for the future. 

Creating a healthy relationship can be challenging at times

Common goals of a healthy relationships

If you are interested in cultivating a stronger and healthier relationship, consider the following short and long term goals that strong couples often have in common. After reviewing some generally effective couple goals, we’ll also explore a few tips for how to strengthen your relationship.

To love each other unconditionally

Strong couples often aim to love each other unconditionally. This typically means supporting each other through good times and bad. When challenges arise, someone makes a mistake, or both people are going through a challenging time, a couple with unconditional love may find that they can still love and support each other and emerge from challenges stronger than before.

Tips for developing this including:

  • Consider your partner’s feelings and perspective
  • Try learning your partner’s love language to better meet their needs
  • Try to love your partner for who they are rather than trying to change them into someone they are not
  • Communicate your hopes and dreams, and ask your partner about theirs

If you’re experiencing difficulty with some aspect of your partner, you might try putting yourself in their shoes to gain some perspective. Also, it may help to think of how your words and decisions have an impact on them. You might suggest taking time to communicate with each other about your hopes and dreams so that you stay on the same page. These conversations can also be an effective way to reassure each other that your goals can be achieved together.

To trust each other

In many cases, trust serves as one of the most ultimate couple goals. Couples often have parts of their lives that are separate from each other, such as work, hobbies, and time with friends, and it can help for couples to trust each other when they’re not together. Jealousy can cause significant damage to a relationship, but there are ways to build trust.

Tips for developing this include:

  • Try to avoid controlling your significant other
  • If jealousy or insecurity comes up, consider talking about it and working through it before it becomes a bigger problem
  • Provide a safe space for your partner to be open and honest about feelings of mistrust
  • Make sure your partner feels there is mutual respect between you
  • Aim to be open and honest with each other

If you and your partner have established trust, you might try not to let negative thoughts or unsubstantiated worries poison your relationship. You can both aim to be more open with each other as soon as any doubts come to mind and try to resolve them before they become a bigger concern. You might also give each other space when it’s needed.

To have things in common

Many couples like to have at least a few interests in common. These could be values, interests, hobbies, and more. This way, there are at least a few activities that they enjoy doing together. That said, it is possible to build a relationship with someone who has different interests.

Tips for developing this include:

  • Try to consistently learn new things about each other.
  • Try new things together to discover more interests.
  • Plan dates and quality time around common interests.

One way to build a strong relationship is to try not to assume you know your partner completely and to stay open to learning new things about them. By accepting that, you can remain open to learning new things about your partner, and you may find that you have more in common than you thought. You may find that you can grow together when you celebrate the things that connect you and incorporate them into your plans.

To have their own interests, too

In addition to having some interests in common, many couples want to have things that are their own. For example, these could be work interests, hobbies, and time spent with friends. Being in a close-knit relationship can be deeply fulfilling, but it can also be healthy for each partner to have their own interests.

Carving out this independence may keep you from feeling like you’re trapped in your relationship. You might also find that spending some time apart gives you the chance to miss each other and may allow you both to appreciate the time you spend together more.

Tips for developing this include:

  • Encourage each other to pursue your own goals, separate passions and interests
  • Try to make separate plans with friends
  • Accept and support the parts of your partner’s life that are not yours

While time together as a couple can deepen your relationship, it can also help to set aside time for each other’s interests so that each person is able to retain their own identity and independence rather than veering into co-dependency. One goal might be to find a balance between spending time together and doing things solo, with the things that you do apart making you feel fulfilled and encouraging your sense of self.


To build a future together

Finally, one last common goal of strong couples is to have a commitment to long term relationship goals and building a future together in some way. For many, it’s important to be on the same page when it comes to what they want and where they’re going. These ideas for the future can vary greatly from one couple to the next but might include things like marriage, children, location, career plans, and other important factors. By discussing expectations and keeping each other updated as the relationship evolves, you might create more stability and minimize surprises in the long run.

Tips for developing this include:

  • Be clear about what you want out of the relationship
  • Make honesty and communication a priority
  • Talk with your partner about any big life changes

To cultivate a commitment to building a future together, it may help to take time to communicate with each other, be clear about your expectations, and be willing to make compromises along the way. 

Tips for strengthening your relationship

In addition to considering the common relationship goals above, you and your significant other might consider implementing some of the following suggestions for strengthening your relationship:

Start small

Sometimes the above goals for healthy couples can seem so lofty that achieving them feels impossible. Rather than get overwhelmed with trying to accomplish all of them at once, you might try working on taking small steps to get you and your partner where you both want to be. If you don’t reach a goal immediately, it may help to exercise some compassion toward yourself and celebrate the progress you make along the way.

Go on dates

It can be easy to get caught up in routines and chores and to let romance fall by the wayside, especially when you and your partner have been together for a while. Research shows that going on dates can be an effective way to get promote closeness and to get to know your partner on a deeper level. For this, consider making it a point to go on a date at least once a month to reconnect with your partner and make new memories with them.

Show each other appreciation

As relationships are a “two way street”, it may help to show appreciation for the things your partner does for you, and vice versa. It can be easy to take each other for granted and to come to expect the little acts of kindness you do for each other. To prevent this, you might try to let your partner know that you are thankful for the little things they do for you. You might write them down in a card or note to give your partner something encouraging to read from time to time.

Take care of yourself

Your own mental health and how you are doing personally can have a major impact on your relationship. If you’re trying to strengthen your relationship, it may help to also take some time to really focus on yourself and your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. You might find that this not only improves your mental health but also helps you develop tools and skills to maintain a strong and healthy relationship.

How therapy can help

While you can take steps to improve your relationship on your own, sometimes you might benefit from a little help. You might consider speaking to a therapist who has experience helping people achieve their relationship goals. If you don’t feel comfortable visiting a therapist’s office, you might try online therapy, which has been demonstrated to be just as effective as traditional in-office couples therapy.

Creating a healthy relationship can be challenging at times

With an online therapy service like BetterHelp, you can talk to a therapist via phone or video conferencing from home or anywhere you have an internet connection. You can also send them messages in between sessions via in-app messaging, and they’ll get back to you as soon as they can. 

Below are some reviews of BetterHelp counselors from people experiencing similar concerns.

Counselor reviews

“Stephanie is a gem! She’s very thoughtful, thorough, honest, insightful but most of all helpful. This is coming from a person who never wanted to do counseling and just “knew” I didn’t need it. She’s been key in helping my wife and I find our better place. She made us grow as a couple and individually. Thanks, Steph!”

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“This is my first time using an online counseling platform and I couldn’t be happier. The interactions with Theresa have been positive and profoundly useful. Since I started using this platform, my husband and I have signed up for online marriage counseling which is going very well. I will never again have a need to miss work to attend an in-office meeting with my counselor.”

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While each couple is different and may have some unique goals for their relationship, many couples have some goals in common, even if they haven’t articulated them yet. These may include goals like loving each other unconditionally, trusting each other fully, having some interests in common (and some that are different), and having a common vision for the future. 

If you are looking for ways to strengthen your relationship, you might consider trying some of the tips listed above. For additional support, online therapy for individuals or couples can often help. With BetterHelp, you can be matched with a therapist who has experience helping people with concerns that are similar to yours, and you can always change therapists until you find a good match. Take the first step toward a more fulfilling relationship and reach out to BetterHelp today.

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