Top Relationship Goals Of Modern Couples And How to Achieve Them

By Stephanie Kirby

Updated December 10, 2018

Reviewer Audrey Kelly, LMFT

Goals of modern relationships are quite different than those of the past. Modern couples have different values and are faced with different challenges today. What's the one thing that's remained the same? Couples that give us 'relationship goals' seem like they belong together. Couples with the five characteristics talked about below seem like they're meant to be.


Do you long for a relationship that's so strong it makes other people jealous? Whether you're in a relationship that's a little rocky right now or you're still looking for the person who's going to change your life forever, these relationship goals will show what to look out for.

If you're in need of more help and guidance, counseling can be a great option. A counselor can listen to your relationship problems, help you find clarity, and guide you towards achieving your goals and desires. Accessing a counselor is easier than ever with affordable and secure online counseling services like BetterHelp, which can be accessed online using your smartphone or laptop.

Here Are Top Relationship Goals of Modern Couples and How to Achieve Them:

  1. They Love Each Other Unconditionally

Modern couples should always aim to love each other unconditionally. The goal is to encourage each other to do what makes the other happy so you can be happy together. This means supporting each other through thick and thin, the good times and the bad.

We're at a time in society where both men and women are actively pursuing careers that they're passionate about. The days where men are the de-facto breadwinners of the family and women are expected to stay at home, cook, clean, and raise the kids are essentially over. In a true modern relationship, partners support each other in whatever they want to do (if it's reasonable, of course).

When things get hard and one of you messes up, or you're both going through a tough time and have things to work on, the love is still there. Just because you get into an argument does not mean that you don't love each other. In a healthy relationship, it's always clear; your love for each other is constant.


How to Achieve It:

  • Always consider your partner's feelings
  • Don't think that you can change your partner
  • Communicate your hopes and dreams to each other

If you're struggling to love your partner unconditionally, try putting yourself in their shoes more. Think of how your words and decisions have an impact on them. Take the time to communicate with each other about your hopes and dreams so you stay on the same page. These talks are also a great way to reassure each other that your hopes and dreams can be achieved together.

  1. They Trust Each Other

Trust is a big goal in modern relationships. Couples often have parts of their lives that are separate from each other, like work, hobbies, and spending time with friends. That's totally normal, and healthy. It's important that couples can trust each other, especially when they're not together. Jealousy can tear a relationship apart, so it's important not to let it take hold of you without a good reason.

Sometimes trust means giving your partner the benefit of the doubt instead of freaking out about little things. Realize that if you see your partner on social media and immediately jump to conclusions about them 'talking to someone else', or 'liking another person's pictures', your own insecurities might be clouding your judgment. If you're really struggling, opening up about how you're feeling can help you get some reassurance.


How to Achieve It:

  • Avoid trying to control your significant other
  • if jealousy or insecurity come up, talk about it and work through it before it becomes a problem
  • Be open and honest with each other

No one likes to be told what to do, what they can't do, and who they can't or can't talk to. If your significant other hasn't given you any reason not to trust them, don't let negative thoughts start to poison your relationship. Be open with each other as soon as any doubts come to mind and resolve them before they become a bigger issue. Give each other space when it's needed.

  1. They Have Things in Common

Most modern couples have at least a few things in common. This is compared to the past when most marriages were arranged for practical reasons that had little to do with love and connection. Today's couples might share the same taste in movies, music, or food. Modern couples might also share the same values, intellectual interests, and/or political views.

It's unlikely that a couple would get together and work out in today's world if they had absolutely nothing in common.

It's important to have some things in common with your partner. This way, there are at least a few things that you enjoy doing together and you always have something to talk about. It is possible to build a relationship with someone you have a little in common with, too. Over time, chances are you'll discover more things that you can both enjoy and share together.


How to Achieve It:

  • Always try learning new things about each other
  • Try new things together - discover new things you have in common!
  • Plan dates and quality time around common interests

One good way to build a strong relationship is to never assume that you know your partner completely. Because the truth is, you never really know everything about a person. People change. By accepting that, you'll always be open to learning new things about each other. You'll grow together when you celebrate the things that connect you and incorporate them into your plans.

  1. But They Have Their Own Things Too

In addition to having things in common, it's also important for modern couples to have things that are their own. For example, I already mentioned work, hobbies, and time spent with friends. Being in a close-knit relationship is great, but it's also healthy for each partner to have their own individual identity. If you want your relationship to least, you need to be able to spend time apart.

Going off and doing your own thing gives you a sense of independence. You might feel happy knowing that your partner trusts you and you trust them. It also stops you from getting sick of each other or feeling like you're trapped in your relationship. Once you spend a bit of time apart, you'll get a chance to miss each other and appreciate the time you spend together more.


How to Achieve It:

  • Try to make separate plans with friends once a week
  • Accept and support the parts of your partner's life that are not yours
  • Encourage each other to pursue separate passions and interests

It's not a bad thing for couples to want to spend time together, but being attached at the hip isn't good. Couples who need to be together all the time can be characterized as co-dependent, which is not considered healthy. The goal is to find the balance between spending time together and doing things solo. The things that you do apart should make you happy and encourage your sense of self.

  1. They're Committed to Building a Future Together

In a world where cheating, mistrust, and differences of opinion are too common, one goal of modern couples is being committed to building a future together. For a couple to be strong and last in the long-term today, partners need to be on the same page when it comes to what they want and where they're going. While some flexibility is always important, couples need to provide each other with stability.

Once you decide that your relationship is 'getting serious', it's important to make sure that you're both on the same page with your expectations. Modern couples aren't afraid to talk about how marriage, kids, career, and other important things factor into their plans. By talking it out and keeping each other updated, you won't run into too many surprises later.


How to Achieve It:

  • Be clear about what you want out of the relationship
  • Make honesty and faithfulness a priority
  • Include your partner's opinion in any big life changes

Modern couples may not agree about everything, but they do agree about one thing: they want to grow old together. To do that, you need to communicate with each other, stay faithful, and sometimes be willing to make compromises along the way. Committed couples are determined to make it work. They don't break-up at the first sign of trouble.


Keeping your modern relationship together can be tough. We live in a world where independence and individuality are valued a lot higher than they used to be, which means that sometimes relationships and family become a second priority as a result. Couples who want to stay together need to make their relationship a priority. Modern couples need to agree to always talk and work through things together.

These goals of modern couples: 1) unconditional love, 2) trust, 3) having things in common 4) and things of their own, and 5) being committed to a future together, will help you find happiness and stability in your relationship.


On your way to reaching these goals, but have a few hurdles to overcome? Another important thing about successful modern relationships is that they aren't afraid to ask for help when they need it. Sometimes asking a friend, family member, or counselor for guidance is all you need to put things into perspective. Asking for help is hard, but modern couples know that their relationship is worth the effort.

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