How To Know If Marrying For Money Is The Right Choice For You

When considering a partner to settle down with, one common consideration may be a prospective spouse's financial status or career prospects. It’s not unusual to think about how to “marry rich” and wonder what it might be like to live a comfortable life. For some, the goal of marrying rich may be based on the idea that financial worries can cause problems within a marriage. For others, marrying into money may be attractive due to the lifestyle associated with greater financial resources.

An age-old practice: Marrying for money

Unions based on financial connections have taken place throughout history. Royals often united for the sole purpose of bringing their kingdoms and assets together. A bride was often chosen based on a dowry, the amount of money or property she (or her family) brought to the marriage.

Jane Austen's character Elizabeth Bennet, from the classic book "Pride and Prejudice," describes the turning point of falling in love with her beau when she visited his sizable estate. However, being drawn to his fancy estate was symbolic of having her heart won by a person she loved, not only his wealth. Love and money are often a complicated mix in any day and age.

In the 18th century, when women didn't have many work opportunities, marrying a rich man may have given women a sense of financial assurance. In the 21st century, however, there are many more opportunities for gainful employment and smart investing, meaning wealthy men and “marrying a rich guy” are no longer the only option or even the best option for women to achieve financial well-being. 

Nevertheless, some people may still be financially motivated when it comes to finding a partner. They may imagine that if they marry a rich person, their partnership will allow them to live a good life and travel the world without the everyday stress associated with working a full-time job. While financial stability is somewhat linked to emotional wellness, marrying for wealth alone may lead to marital problems, unhappiness, or emotional concerns.

Marrying rich: Does it lead to happiness?

It’s common to wonder whether money buys happiness. The availability of money can make some aspects of life easier; however, the wealthy are not immune to mental health concerns or relationship problems. In fact, money can make some areas of life more difficult.

Isolation may be a concern for wealthy individuals

Research shows wealthy people often face uncertainty about relationships. They may worry whether others are genuinely interested in them, or if others are attracted to their money. For example, a wealthy single person may be apprehensive towards dating out of concern that a romantic prospects is a “gold digger,” or that friends are more concerned about status than friendship.

This situation may be why wealthy people sometimes report feeling isolated. This lack of support or meaningful connections may be damaging to mental health. Social connection is essential for mental well-being. If someone marries for money but does not necessarily love or care for their spouse, this choice may also cause feelings of isolation. 

Wealthy people may worry about parenting

For the very wealthy, research shows that the greatest aspiration for many is not to accumulate more wealth but to be a good parent. Rich people may worry about their children leading meaningful lives, finding motivation, finding non-financial connections with others, and not being taken advantage of. For married people with children, this worry may cause some stress for the couple. 

Differing financial circumstances can cause tension 

A financial challenge can come into play for couples with different economic backgrounds. Social or cultural norms may be different between the two socioeconomic classes. Disagreements may arise if two partners have differing values about how money should be spent or saved. When marrying into a wealthy family, there may be concerns among family members that the marriage is more money-driven than love-driven.

In some cases, a wealthy spouse may hope to create a prenuptial agreement or prenup. A prenup is a legal agreement between two spouses about how to split assets in the case of divorce. In a prenup, the wealthier spouse may not agree to a joint bank account or joint wealth in all circumstances. This situation may cause stress for someone who is not as financially well-off as their spouse.

Wealth may boost happiness only up to a certain point

Research shows that emotional well-being doesn't usually increase beyond an income of $75,000 a year. However, some sources suggest that emotional wellness does not necessarily plateau at $75,000 but may continue to increase as income increases. Research results are varied, and the experiences of couples may also be varied.

People with more money may have the resources to set and meet goals that make them feel fulfilled, such as living in an expensive city like New York City or traveling the world. They may also find satisfaction in being able to make charitable contributions, pay for their children’s college education, or pursue their hobbies and passions. If you marry for wealth, finances may boost your happiness if you spend money in fulfilling and meaningful ways.

The key to a happy marriage

When thinking about what factors are most important to you in a potential spouse, it may be helpful to think beyond money and lifestyle. Research into marital satisfaction has identified a number of factors that tend to characterize a happy marriage, including self-compassion and forgiveness.

Positive interactions  

Research shows that couples in lasting, satisfying marriages have far more positive interactions than negative ones. Negativity, including criticizing and demanding, may lead to stress and disconnection. Positive interactions include listening actively, expressing gratitude, communicating with kindness, and being optimistic. These types of interactions may strengthen a marriage.

Empathy

Empathy tends to be a characteristic of a happy marriage. Practicing empathy means being able to experience the feelings of another "through their eyes." When spouses perceive that their partner truly understands them and provides compassion, they might feel more loved and content. 

Commitment

Commitment to the relationship by both spouses is linked to a successful marriage if healthy communication is present. When both spouses are committed to working on the relationship, even when facing obstacles, they may have a lasting, more satisfying marriage.

Acceptance

Accepting your partner for who they are and practicing self-acceptance may also improve marital satisfaction. Attempting to change your partner may make them feel as though they are not good enough and lead to tension in the relationship. 

Mutual love and respect

Mutual love and respect may allow relationships to be happier, stronger, and longer lasting. A marriage purely based on financial means may not have the same depth of connection. 

Conflict management

Effective conflict management can be necessary for a satisfying marriage. Money is one of the most common sources of marital conflict, no matter the couple’s financial status. Disagreements can arise due to differences in spending habits, savings goals, control over finances, and values and beliefs about money. Studies show that couples that have experienced financial conflict have lower relationship satisfaction.

Financial well-being

Research shows that couples with no assets are 70% more likely to divorce within three years than couples with $10,000+ in financial assets. While wealth may not guarantee happiness, some assets may help to create relationship assurance. Studies also show that marriages between lower-income couples were impacted more significantly by stressful life events and mental health concerns than marriages of more wealthy couples.

Emotions and finance

Money can elicit strong emotions, whether you consider yourself to be rich or poor. Some emotions commonly tied to money may be magnified if a spouse marries for wealth, including:

• Fear
• Guilt
• Shame
• Envy
• Disgust
• Anxiety

A person with or without wealth may feel shame for spending unwisely or not managing their money carefully. Wealthy people may feel guilty for having what others don't.

For a spouse who marries for money, guilt may increase if the authenticity of the marriage is questioned. Fear of losing money may also be common in a financially mismatched marriage, as money can be directly related to safety and one's future – and such fear may not be reserved only for the member of the couple who brought less wealth to the table. For example, if a wealthy individual loses money in a bad business deal, they may worry whether it will affect their partner’s marital satisfaction. 

One advantage of marriage is that it allows two people to have joint assets and resources. Marriage may be appealing during an economic downturn or a time of personal financial hardship. However, marrying out of financial fear may lead to relationship challenges, self-doubt, doubt about the relationship, and regret. 

Examine your marriage motivations closely. Ask yourself what it might take to form a mutually respectful, authentic relationship that is healthy for you and your partner. Analyzing your motives may help you decide whether you'd like to marry for money or not.

Is marrying a millionaire for money a good idea?

Marrying someone is a personal choice. While it may be beneficial to consider a person’s financial status when deciding whether to pursue marriage with them, remember that marital satisfaction is multifaceted and that there are many problems that can’t be solved with money. 

If you don't love or respect your spouse, you may feel unhappy and unfulfilled despite having a financially stable life. Research shows that happy and healthy relationships may be one of the most consistent predictors of a happy life.

Discussing finances can be valuable before and during the marriage. Communicating honestly with a potential spouse about financial status and values about money, budgets, spending, and saving can be healthy for your marriage.

Therapy for individuals and couples

If you or a loved one is experiencing mental health concerns related to money or would like to work on building healthy, positive relationships, help is available. In the 21st century, many couples turn to online counseling to resolve relationship concerns. Studies find that 70% of couples find satisfaction and relationship improvements in couples therapy. Online therapy allows you to receive support from the comfort of your own home for a more affordable rate than most traditional therapy options.

Licensed mental health professionals can work with you and support you on platforms such as BetterHelp. If you're interested in learning more, consider reading counselor reviews from clients who have reached out for help for related issues.

Counselor reviews

"Dianna is not only an empathetic and active listener, but she also has an incredible ability to connect the dots, see patterns and relationships, and then provide new perspectives. In just a few sessions, she has given me effective and long lasting tools to manage my emotional responses, and has helped me to untangle some of the most challenging issues that have held me back for a long time. I cannot recommend her highly enough for her warmth, empathy, professionalism, and skills, and will not hesitate to engage her services again."

"I have been dealing with a number of significant issues, both with my spouse and myself. Elizabeth has been nothing but spectacular with her guidance, offerings of support, understanding, and opening my views and self-doubt up to a more realistic and accurate assessment, from an outside-looking-in point of view. What I have on my plate is not easy, but I can say with certainty, if Elizabeth were not my trusted resource, I would be in far worse shape. She helps me see my value, and the reality of the situation."