The Impact Of Masking Emotions On Mental Health
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Many of us have learned to keep certain feelings to ourselves. In some settings, learning to be discreet about how we feel can be a part of navigating society. For some, though, concealing emotions can become their default. They may act a certain way to conceal their feelings, which can have long-term impacts on mental health. From the camouflaging that many people with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) engage in to navigate the world to the pressure that men in society may face to remain stoic and strong, masking can take many forms. Below, we take a closer look at masking, its impact, and strategies for overcoming it.
What does it mean to mask emotions?
Emotional masking is the practice of concealing one’s true emotions by presenting a neutral exterior that hides what the person may be feeling beneath it. Masking behaviors can be damaging and have real negative consequences for long-term mental health, including burnout, exhaustion, and chronic stress.
Mental health masking can appear in different ways. For example, someone may laugh off sadness, hold in their anger during conflict, or pretend to be managing challenges when they are struggling inside.
While anyone can experience masking and emotional suppression, it can be a significant factor in men’s mental health, as social conditioning and stereotyping can make men feel that they need to appear strong rather than vulnerable. Men are statistically less likely to seek help for mental health challenges, and masking behaviors may allow them to outwardly pretend that everything is okay.
Why people mask their emotions
People may mask their emotions for various reasons. For some, it may be a response to their environment; for others, it may be how they have learned to cope with or manage certain traits.
Societal expectations and gender norms
People may pick up on societal expectations at a young age, subconsciously learning that they are expected to respond in an accepted way rather than express their genuine responses. This can be true for men, in particular, as societal norms tend to frame some emotions, like sadness, as being weak and others, like anger, as being strong.
Masking in autism and developmental disorders
For people with ASD, masking can take on a new meaning. Both adults and children with ASD may learn to camouflage their autistic traits to assimilate into neurotypical environments and preserve personal well-being. This type of masking for people with ASD and other developmental disorders can take a lot of effort, with research showing that the constant effort required can lead to anxiety, burnout, and even a diminished sense of self-identity.
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Common signs of emotional masking
Emotional masking may not always be obvious to the person doing it or to those around them. Recognizing its signs can require deliberate attention.
Behavioral and social signs
Masking may feel like putting in extra effort for ordinary interactions. Some examples might include:
Forcing eye contact that doesn’t feel natural
Controlling body language to make yourself appear relaxed or engaged
Modulating an emotional response to be more in line with the rest of the group in social settings
Internal and physical symptoms
Masking can take a lot of effort, and when someone does it often, it can have a number of physical and mental effects, including:
- Forming relationships that may feel “unstable, inauthentic, or not satisfying” as a result of “superficial connections”
- Having limited feelings of closeness and connectedness with others
- Feeling inauthentic
- Experiencing identity confusion
- Feeling misunderstood and lacking social acceptance
- Experiencing fatigue, stress, exhaustion, and/or decreased functioning
- Not getting proper support
Masking may also cause suppressed emotions to intensify over time, which tends to make them harder to control. Continuing this habit can result in a breakdown in which everything spills out at once. Research has also found that masking can cause increased mental health symptoms of social anxiety, generalized anxiety, and depression, and it can increase the risk of suicide.
If you or a loved one is experiencing suicidal thoughts, seek help immediately. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 for 24/7 support.
Healthier alternatives to masking emotions
Finding an alternative to masking doesn’t necessarily mean performing your emotions or abandoning all your boundaries. To manage the feelings that accompany this practice, it can help to take things slowly and learn to be more honest with yourself about your feelings.
Developing emotional awareness
Noticing your true feelings can be a beneficial first step. To gain emotional awareness, it can help to slow down enough to recognize the true emotions that are behind the masking behaviors and rehearsed responses. Rather than asking yourself, “How should I feel now?” ask:
- How do I really feel right now?
- What negative outcomes am I trying to avoid?
- What am I afraid that people might see?
- What type of negative feedback am I avoiding?
- What would I do if I knew there would be no judgment?
These questions can be difficult to face; journaling, mindfulness, and therapy can all support this process.
Building safer environments
A safe and supportive environment that alleviates some social difficulties can give you the space you need to tap into your true emotions. Whether it’s the home of a trusted friend or family member, a therapy session, or support groups where you can share without judgment, getting appropriate support can help make emotional honesty more possible.
Practicing self-compassion and gradual change
Some people who mask may have been doing so for most of their lives, which can make it challenging to overcome. Replacing masking behaviors with healthier coping strategies is a gradual process. Practice self-compassion throughout the process, recognizing that overcoming these mental health struggles and letting go can take time.
Getting support through BetterHelp
Therapy can be a useful resource for processing emotions and solving mental health problems, but you may be hesitant to step foot into a therapist’s office. If that sounds like you, you might consider connecting with a provider online.
How online therapy can help reduce emotional masking
Online therapy platforms like BetterHelp allow you to carry out a tailored treatment plan according to your availability. Because you can meet with your therapist from anywhere you have internet, including your own home, you may find that online therapy provides you with a safe space to examine your thoughts, emotions, and feelings freely. Not having to mask your emotions with your therapist may contribute to more positive outcomes during sessions and trickle out into your everyday life.
Creating an authentic life with professional support
Research has found that getting mental health support through online treatment can be an effective way to treat some of the existing mental health conditions that can contribute to masking behavior, like anxiety and depression, and it can help people with ASD learn and maintain new skills, including language, social, adaptive living, and coping and tolerance skills. Working with a professional to manage masking and other significant challenges of these conditions can help people learn to live more authentically.
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Takeaway
Why do men hide their emotions?
Men often hide from their emotions to align with traditional male standards and meet societal expectations. Many men want to appear strong, a trait that society often equates with traditional masculinity. Showing any sign of weakness can put a man in a vulnerable place, and many would rather avoid that because it isn't deemed manly enough. Additionally, men might believe that they should be able to cope with anything that comes their way, so they may rely on themselves to get through difficult times.
How does masking emotions impact mental health?
Hiding from your emotions can significantly worsen mental and physical health. While masking your emotions may help you avoid feeling them, that doesn't mean that they necessarily go away. In fact, emotions can become intensified if you hold them in. For example, suppressing feelings like anger may only make you angrier down the road. This can take a significant toll on your mental and physical health, as bottling up your emotions can create increased stress and tension in your body. It can also strain your genuine relationships and even impact your memory, self-esteem, and other cognitive functions. You can avoid these effects by openly expressing how you’re feeling.
How can I stop masking my emotions?
One of the first steps you can take to stop masking your emotions is to allow yourself to feel those emotions. Here are some other pointers that may be helpful:
- Look at the impact of your emotions – just because they might be intense doesn't mean they are bad.
- Aim for normalcy, not repression – control your emotions as they come and release them.
- Identify what you're feeling – recognize your emotions and how something makes you feel.
- Accept your emotions – all of them. Remember that emotions come and go.
- Keep a mood journal – journals can help you self-reflect and examine your process.
- Take a deep breath – everything will be okay.
- Know when to express yourself – express yourself when you feel most comfortable.
- Give yourself some space – don't be too hard on yourself.
What are examples of emotional masking?
Some examples of emotional masking include:
- Forcing affect or positive emotions, like smiling at a party because you feel you should, even if you are really feeling anxious inside
- Suppressing emotions, like concealing anger or frustration
- Mimicking the gestures, expressions, and tone of others in the group
- Forcing eye contact
- Hiding distress
- Concealing insecurity by acting indifferent or overconfident
Is masking a trauma response?
Though not always the case, masking can be a trauma response, used to hide one’s true self, emotions, or negative reactions to avoid judgment, danger, or abuse.
What mental disorders are associated with masking?
Some mental disorders that may be associated with masking can include ASD, anxiety disorders, depression, and trauma.
How does masking relate to autism and ADHD?
People with ASD or ADHD may use masking as a coping mechanism to hide their true selves so they appear neurotypical, suppressing their natural emotions and behaviors to adhere to social norms and avoid bullying, judgment, or stigma.
What happens when you suppress emotions for too long?
While masking can be seen as a short-term coping mechanism, long-term emotional suppression can have various impacts, including increased symptoms of anxiety and depression. It can also impact physical health, impacting various parts of the body, including the cardiovascular system.
How can someone unmask safely in social situations?
Learning to unmask can take some time, but it can help to start by first being your authentic self in a safe environment, such as in the home of a trusted friend or in therapy sessions. Focus on making small, gradual changes and setting boundaries to ensure your needs are met. It can help to find spaces that embrace neurodivergence, like a support group, that may be more accepting of communication differences, or work with a mental health professional.
When should I seek professional help for emotional masking?
If masking leads to significant distress, impacts your ability to function in everyday life, or causes self-doubt, burnout, or exhaustion, it may be time to seek support from a mental health professional. That said, you can work with a professional at any point you notice that your symptoms may be impacting your life. Getting help early can help prevent masking from causing significant distress.
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