Finding Balance: Understanding Midlife Crisis In Men

The concept of a midlife crisis, particularly a midlife crisis in men, often brings about images of drastic life changes and emotional crises. However, its roots extend far into historical and societal contexts. This period, typically associated with middle age, was initially recognized in the mid-20th century and, since then, has been subject to various stereotypes and misconceptions. Despite its prevalence, a midlife crisis is more than just a cultural cliché. Rather, the midlife crisis is a significant mental health challenge that can cause many men to question their life satisfaction and may lead to deep emotional turmoil.

Various factors can provoke this crisis, including career stagnation, aging, or significant life events. While the symptoms can vary widely, they often include changes in mood, behavior, and sometimes physical health. Yet, society’s misunderstanding of this phase often masks the serious nature of this crisis, making it crucial to dispel such misconceptions for effective interventions.

The manifestations of a midlife crisis

A midlife crisis can manifest in various ways in men, often represented as noticeable shifts in mood, behavior, or life choices. These changes, which typically occur during middle adulthood, are part of the larger midlife transition that many adults navigate. For instance, a man may decide to make significant career changes or reassess the state of their romantic relationships. Similarly, family members may observe increased anxiety or dissatisfaction, reflective of underlying existential concerns.

This phase can be characterized by a ”u-shaped curve” of happiness where the satisfaction of adult life dips in middle age before rising again in later years. Physiological changes such as altered sleep patterns or physical endurance can accompany psychological shifts, adding to the complexity of this period. Forbes explains, “Midlife is often a very uncomfortable stage where people feel their old self is gone, but their new self isn't born yet. We often find ourselves in a state of liminality as we approach midlife. Liminality refers to a transitional phase between two distinct identities. It is an uncomfortable place to be, as it can bring up feelings of confusion and uncertainty. However, it can also be an opportunity to explore different parts of yourself and discover new perspectives.” Additionally, societal and personal expectations concerning success, stability, and fulfillment can exacerbate feelings of fear or confusion.

These expectations may result in men feeling as though their lived experiences do not align with the anticipated trajectory of their lives, intensifying feelings of dissatisfaction. The manifestations of a midlife crisis may be multifaceted and deeply intertwined with both individual and societal factors, making it a complex but essential aspect of mental health to understand.

The role of society and masculinity

Societal pressures and the norms of masculinity often have a profound influence on midlife crises in men. These norms frequently encourage men to suppress their feelings and emotions, potentially intensifying the effects of a midlife crisis. The societal expectations for men can escalate a depressive episode during this phase, making the crisis more damaging than it would otherwise be.

Additionally, societal expectations of success and achievement, often measured in terms of career progression, financial stability, or acquiring a younger partner, can contribute to feelings of inadequacy or failure during a midlife crisis. Men may judge their worth based on these external markers, and falling short of such societal standards can instigate a profound sense of self-doubt and disappointment. 

Overall, societal pressures and the norms of masculinity may have a significant correlation with the occurrence and intensity of midlife crises in men. These influences can exacerbate the crisis, making it crucial to reevaluate and challenge these societal constructs for better mental health outcomes.

Healthy coping mechanisms and lifestyle adjustments

Navigating a midlife crisis may call for adopting positive coping mechanisms and lifestyle adjustments that can provide essential support. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle, which encompasses balanced eating habits, regular physical exercise, and good sleep habits, might play a significant role in managing mental health during a midlife crisis. Exercise and nutrition, beyond their physical benefits, can also act as natural mood boosters, potentially helping to alleviate feelings of anxiety or depression.

Another effective coping strategy might involve practicing mindfulness, which can provide men with a clearer perspective of their emotions and thoughts. This practice can foster a greater self-understanding and patience during this challenging time.

In addition to personal strategies, seeking supportive social networks can provide a sense of belonging and understanding. Forbes says, “Feelings of shame and isolation are common symptoms of a midlife crisis and may make it difficult to reach out to others for support. However, speaking with a friend or a mental health care provider may help to alleviate symptoms and provide relief.” This open communication could allow men to tell their experiences and feelings without judgment, which may be crucial in breaking away from the societal stigma around male mental health.

When to seek professional help

Identifying when professional help might be beneficial is an essential aspect of navigating a midlife crisis. While everyone may experience a range of emotions during such a period, certain signs, such as prolonged feelings of despair, significant changes in sleep or eating habits, or thoughts of self-harm, indicate a need for professional intervention. 

If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or urges, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988. Support is available 24/7.

Psychotherapy and counseling can provide men with a safe space to express their feelings, fears, and aspirations. Such therapeutic engagements can help men gain better insights into their experiences, develop coping strategies, and reclaim control over their lives. In some instances, medication may be recommended alongside therapy to manage symptoms of depression and anxiety. 

While discussing professional help with someone experiencing a midlife crisis, it may be important not to focus too heavily on treatment specifics. Instead, the focus should be on encouraging the acceptance of help when needed. You might remind them that reaching out to a mental health professional is a crucial step toward wellness, demonstrating courage and self-care in the face of adversity, and does not signify failure or weakness.

Online mental health support

Online therapy can offer several benefits that align with the challenges men facing a midlife crisis might encounter. Its convenience can be especially beneficial for those who feel overwhelmed by midlife circumstances. Busy schedules or apprehension about asking for help can sometimes deter men from seeing a mental health professional. However, online therapy can mitigate these concerns, providing flexible, personalized support from where the patient feels most comfortable. Additionally, online sessions may encourage more open communication, enabling men to express their thoughts and feelings freely, tackling the societal stigma around male mental health, and promoting healthier coping strategies. 

A 2022 study looked at how older adults responded to video-to-home (virtual) treatment for mental health. Those in the study reported high levels of satisfaction for virtual mental health treatment and a decrease in overall symptoms related to social isolation, anxiety, and depression. Additionally, evidence suggests that virtual treatment is as effective as in-person treatment for people of all ages at treating post-traumatic stress disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, and smoking cessation.