Healing Your Inner Child: Tips And Techniques

Initially developed by Carl Jung nearly a century ago, inner child therapy involves nurturing the wounded or neglected younger version of yourself, typically focusing on what you experienced between birth and adolescence. This modality is based on the belief that many of our emotional and behavioral patterns in adulthood stem from unresolved childhood experiences, traumas, or unmet needs. By integrating the healed inner child with the present adult self, Jung theorized, individuals may be able to experience profound personal growth and transformation, potentially finding increased self-awareness, improved emotional regulation, healthier relationships, and greater joy and fulfillment in their lives.

Starting inner child work on your own

As an article in the American Journal of Psychotherapy reports, some therapists consider the inner child to be a “primary subconscious force”—the child the client once was and with whom they may have “lost touch on the way to adulthood.” Again, this type of emotional work is usually most effective when guided by a trained mental health professional, but the following techniques and tips could help you get started on your own. 

Provide yourself with a safe space

Just as a therapist creates a safe and supportive emotional environment in an office or online, try to foster a soothing space within your home where you can retreat and not be disturbed while doing this work. That way, you can feel more comfortable exploring your past experiences to better connect with the part of yourself that holds the emotions, memories, and beliefs formed during childhood. 

For some, these recollections can be extremely painful and triggering, especially when addressing sexual or physical abuse. That’s why nurturing a physical environment conducive to making you feel protected, grounded, and supported can be so vital. 

If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7.

To self-soothe most effectively as you engage in this work, try to use all five senses. For example, you might add visuals like fresh flowers or art that helps you feel calm. A scented candle and relaxing music could also be good additions, as could wearing your most comfortable clothing and sipping a warm, soothing beverage. 

Cultivate mindfulness and engage in self-reflection

Reflecting on childhood experiences and emotions can be challenging, particularly for those who experienced childhood trauma. As difficult as it may be to cultivate, self-awareness can be crucial in understanding the wounds and patterns carried over from one’s early years. Engaging in mindfulness can be a powerful way to gently provide space for self-reflection. To do this, try to focus on the breath and take in how you feel and what’s around you in the present moment without judgment. If you notice that your body feels particularly tense, you might try progressive relaxation to release some of the tension.

Keeping a journal is another way to engage in self-reflection on this journey. It can be a powerful method for examining your innermost thoughts, feelings, and memories, and it can also act as a source of perspective at all stages of your healing journey. Writing regularly—or at least whenever you engage in inner child work—may be beneficial.

Use visualization and imagery techniques

Guided visualization is a common tool a therapist may use to help a client relax and connect with their inner child. There are many guided visualizations for inner child healing that you can find online.

Note that while guided visualization is generally considered a safe practice, there are some for whom it may be harmful, such as those with a history of symptoms of psychosis. Always speak with a mental health professional before using visualization techniques on your own. 

Here is a step-by-step guide for practicing visualization at home: 

• Choose a time and place where you won’t be disturbed and sit or lie comfortably in the safe space you’ve created for yourself.
• Close your eyes and take a few deep, relaxing breaths. 
• Next, you might visualize a peaceful setting in which to meet your inner child, such as a forest or a garden. Try to envision as many details as possible using all your senses—for example, the sounds of the birds and the feeling of a warm breeze on your skin.
• Visualize your inner child in that setting in as much detail as possible. Use this imagery to connect with the emotions and experiences you had during childhood. 
• Then, visualize your adult self offering comfort, love, and support to your inner child. 
• Keep your breath as relaxed as possible and take your time, trying not to rush the experience. If it becomes too emotionally intense, feel free to take a break. 
• When you’re ready, open your eyes and stretch gently to return to the present moment. Know that you may revisit this space whenever you wish.

Engage in inner dialogue work

Conversing with your inner child can allow you to address and begin to heal any wounds from the past. You may engage in an internal dialogue, write letters, or converse aloud with them. You can express your love, understanding, and compassion to the earlier version of yourself in the way that most deeply resonates with you. This is another point at which keeping a journal may offer benefits. You may choose to hold an ongoing conversation with your inner child there, or simply use it to reflect on your progress. 

Allow emotional release

Regardless of your chosen method, it can be beneficial to allow yourself to fully feel and express your emotions when you connect with your inner child. Don’t be afraid to cry or even shout if it feels natural. Clinical studies suggest that suppressing emotions can be detrimental to your health, and doing so can also act as a blocker to progress on your mental health journey. Instead, the goal is to release the intense emotions you may have stored to create space for healing. 

Reparent yourself

According to the American Psychological Association, self-reparenting is a “therapeutic technique in which individuals are urged to provide for themselves the kind of parenting attitudes or actions that their own parents did not provide.” This process can allow you to offer the wounded inner child the love, care, and nurturing they may have missed during childhood. 

Part of self-reparenting may be engaging in activities that bring you joy and make you feel supported. For example, if you appreciate nature, you may hike or go camping regularly. Finally, caring for your physical well-being can be essential, too. Engaging in physical activity you enjoy, eating nutritious foods, and getting plenty of quality sleep are all examples. 

Try inner child healing exercises

There are various therapeutic exercises designed specifically for healing childhood trauma. These include activities like drawing, coloring, playing, or engaging in other types of creative expression like dance or music. Some mental health professionals also use art therapy to help their clients reconnect with the inner child and heal past wounds.

Practice forgiveness with boundaries

One other component of inner child work that’s necessary in many cases is practicing forgiveness for yourself and others involved in your past. Forgiveness does not mean condoning or forgetting past events; instead, it’s about releasing the emotional burden associated with them. During this time, you might pay special attention to the setting of healthy boundaries in your present life and learn to recognize and remove yourself from situations that may reopen old wounds. 

Seeking support for inner child work

It may be beneficial to reach out to trusted friends and loved ones for help and support on your journey. Spending time with people who care about you can cultivate self-confidence and provide you with perspective. You may also consider working with a therapist or counselor who specializes in inner child work. They can provide guidance, support, and additional techniques tailored to your specific needs.

With the recent rise in the popularity of online therapy, it’s arguably never been easier to begin treatment. Platforms like BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, experienced therapist who you can meet with from the comfort of home via phone call, video chat, and/or in-app messaging. Plus, online therapy is often more affordable than traditional, in-person therapy due to lower overhead costs. 

A growing body of research suggests that online therapy can be as effective as in-person therapy for treating conditions like anxiety, depression, and traumatic disorders. For example, one study suggests that online and in-person therapy can be equally impactful when it comes to treating symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in particular.