Understanding Parental Burnout And How To Cope

Due to the inherent stresses of family life and a host of other factors, many parents experience parental burnout. This can be seen as a state of emotional exhaustion and lack of fulfillment that may contribute to the development of other mental health concerns if left unaddressed. Engaging in regular self-care, practicing self-compassion, and attending support groups for parents can be helpful in reducing parental burnout. If you’re having a hard time handling burnout on your own, consider connecting with a licensed therapist in your local area or through an online therapy platform.

What is parental burnout?

In recent years, burnout, defined as “emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and a decrease in self-fulfillment,” has become recognized as one of the primary mental health challenges affecting people today. Burnout has become such a widespread phenomenon that in 2019, the World Health Organization officially recognized “burnout syndrome” as a legitimate mental health concern alongside more well-known mental illnesses like depression. 

While parental burnout was initially studied in connection to parents of sick children, research has determined that any parent can experience it. In modern society, as parents are often forced to work long hours in addition to caring for their children, some find it harder to juggle all the responsibilities and stresses of life. 

Recognizing the signs

The stereotypical image of perpetually exhausted parents may be so ingrained that many seem to think of it as the norm. The idea that parental burnout is normal often makes the problem worse by reinforcing feelings of shame and guilt, potentially leading parents to question their own parenting skills. 

They might buy the latest self-help books in search of parenting advice without ever considering that parental burnout can be a legitimate mental health concern. While all parents raising children might experience occasional tiredness and exhaustion, parental burnout tends to be far more severe and damaging. Learning to recognize the signs of parental burnout can be crucial to getting the help one deserves to resolve it.

There can be a host of symptoms of parental burnout, ranging from brain fog, confusion, and a shortened temper to poor sleep, depression, and more. These symptoms often lead to emotional distancing from one’s child, which can have a severe impact on the parent-child relationship. The symptoms of parental burnout can also lead to increased chances of physical ailments, such as erectile dysfunction, diabetes, and hormonal imbalances, which may worsen existing symptoms of burnout if left untreated.

According to Clinical Psychological Science, those experiencing parental burnout often experience more suicidal ideation than those experiencing job burnout. There is often no “escape” from parenting, unlike with a job that may allow options for time off. This is one of the many reasons why seeking help can be crucial. 

If you or a loved one are experiencing thoughts of suicide, please know that help is available. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline anytime, 24/7, at 988.

Coping with parental burnout

Parents experiencing the pitfalls of parental burnout might recognize what they are experiencing, but they may not have adequate coping skills to address it. Those experiencing parental burnout are often prone to beating themselves up mentally, believing they are inadequate parents for going through what can be entirely normal emotions. Remembering to practice self-compassion and self-care can be essential to mitigating the debilitating aspects of parental burnout.

Parents often feel selfish for practicing self-care when they are worried about the needs of their children. However, in many cases, a child’s needs can only be properly met when a parent’s needs are also met. 

Finding small ways to relax, relieve stress, and reward yourself usually improves mental well-being, often resulting in improved parenting. Prioritizing sufficient sleep each night, eating a nutritious diet, drinking plenty of water, spending time outdoors, and making time for exercise can be beneficial. Taking a few minutes for yourself to enjoy a cup of tea, meditate, journal, or practice grounding exercises can also make a difference.

It can also be important for parents to remember there is no such thing as a “perfect parent.” Parents should avoid holding themselves to unattainable standards. Do not be afraid to ask others for help, as the old adage “It takes a village to raise a child” may have a ring of truth to it to this day. Try not to feel guilty about hiring a babysitter or asking a friend or family member to care for your children for a few hours so that you can enjoy time to yourself on occasion. 

Therapy and support groups

When addressing and coping with parental burnout, support groups can serve as an important resource that may provide relief for parents experiencing burnout. Support groups can often relieve the feelings of isolation and loneliness that can come with parental burnout. They can provide a safe avenue for parents to vent about their troubles, as well as a chance to form bonds and relationships with other parents who may be undergoing similar struggles. 

An aspect of parenting that often contributes to parental burnout is the diminished social life parents often experience while raising a child. A support group can help parents feel less alone by connecting them with others who might understand what they are going through.

Benefits of online therapy

In today’s fast-paced environment, parents often find making the time to find or meet with a support group challenging. One potentially helpful resource at busy parents’ disposal is online therapy. Between juggling the stress of work and raising a child, parents are often exhausted and have little time for support groups or visiting a therapist. Online therapy can provide a more convenient and accessible option for parents to connect with a licensed professional from the comfort of their homes.

Effectiveness of online therapy

According to a 2022 study, online cognitive behavioral therapy may be effective in preventing and treating burnout. This study joins a large body of evidence supporting the idea that online therapy can be just as effective as in-person therapy for addressing a wide variety of mental health concerns. 

Takeaway

Despite parents’ tendencies to be their own worst critics, parental burnout may not be a sign of any sort of failure as a parent. While it can be considered a normal experience for parents to face, it can potentially lead to debilitating consequences if left unchecked. By practicing healthy coping mechanisms, such as self-care and self-compassion, as well as utilizing resources like support groups and online therapy, parents can address the root of parental burnout and alleviate its symptoms.