The Most Effective Psychotherapists Are Those Who Really Listen
Medically Reviewed By Dawn Brown, LPC
Going to see a therapist for a mental or emotional health issue can be intimidating. Accepting that you need help can already be a challenge but spilling your guts to a therapist who doesn’t really listen only makes things worse. The most effective psychotherapists are the ones who actively engage patients and pay close attention to the details.
What Is a Psychotherapist?
A psychotherapist is a mental health professional who uses a variety of therapeutic approaches to help people define issues and cope with symptoms. They often prefer talk therapy as a means to uncover underlying mental illnesses and emotional or behavioral disorders.
Psychotherapists can provide a range of services depending on their license. For example, psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, and counselors are all considered to be psychotherapists. However, they can’t all do the same things. Social workers, psychologists, and counselors usually can’t prescribe medication. But most psychiatrists can.
Pharmaceuticals aren’t always a part of a patient’s psychotherapeutic plan, though. Many times, a customized, holistic approach is necessary to foster the most growth. So, psychotherapies work best when they’re tailored to the patient based on a comprehensive analysis of their personal and family histories.
How Does Psychotherapy Work?
Psychotherapy is supposed to be a collaborative treatment for mental illness. But it focuses primarily on the relationship between an individual and the therapist. Thus, therapies are generally rooted on open conversations, streams of consciousness, and neutral exchanges.
Psychotherapies aren’t a cure-all for mental illness, but they can produce significant positive change. Psychotherapists use evidence-based methodologies to help people develop healthier coping skills, learn more meaningful social cues, and even mend broken bonds.
Therapists also use a wide variety of tailored approaches to pinpoint the origins of trauma. Those approaches often fall into one of five broad categories, according to the American Psychological Association:
- Psychoanalysis/Psychodynamic Therapy
- Behavioral Therapy
- Cognitive Therapy
- Humanistic Therapy
- Integrative Therapy
Psychoanalysis aims to uncover the hidden meanings behind destructive impulses, emotions, and thought patterns. Meanwhile, behavioral therapy is often used to help patients understand how their life experiences form their personalities. Tactics such as classical conditioning and desensitizing are frequently preferred for maximum efficacy.
Behavior therapy is commonly combined with cognitive therapy to create cognitive-behavior therapy, or CBT. CBT focuses on both the thoughts and habits which compel unhealthy choices. The theory is that by changing the way a person thinks, you thereby change the way they behave. And there is now much evidence to support this.
The National Institutes of Health (NIH) calls cognitive-behavior therapy the gold standard of modern psychotherapy. Meanwhile, humanistic and integrative (or holistic) approaches are both still valid. Humanistic psychotherapy involves determining a person’s maximum capacity for change. And holistic therapies are defined as a blend of different approaches according to a person’s needs. So, in essence, all psychotherapies are holistic, especially if a therapist actively listens.
What Does It Mean to Actively Listen?
Active listening means paying close attention. It is a skill that most licensed psychotherapists have mastered. This method of interacting with others is based on verbal and nonverbal communication. The technique is so effective, in fact, that it’s often used to settle disputes, resolve emotional conflicts, and reveal hidden knowledge about many complex topics.
There are at least four different ways to tell if someone is actively listening to what you say. Simply being able to repeat words or phrases isn’t always enough. So, whether that person is a loved one or a paid mental health professional, you can still use this list to uncover the truth:
- Accurate Paraphrasing - The other person should be able to summarize what you just said.
- Displaying Concern - They aught to be interested in the details if they’re actively engaged.
- Non-Verbal Reassurance - They’ll often nod, make eye contact, or lead forward while you talk.
- Verbal Reassurance - They might say encouraging words like “I understand” and “thank you.”
Becoming an active listener takes practice. It requires patience, compassion, and open mindedness as well. So, try not to rely solely on friends and family who have challenges too. Instead, speak to a licensed psychotherapist who really listens as you describe things in your own words.
5 Reasons Why Attentive Therapists Are Essential
Attentive psychotherapists will most likely offer feedback, ask for clarification, and approach the conversation in a neutral manner. For many people, those three elements are crucial to coping, growth, and healing. But here are five more reasons why active listening is so essential to effective communication in psychotherapy:
#1. Sessions Become Tailored to Your Unique Perspective
Therapists who actively engage their patients usually enjoy a much deeper understanding of the root issue(s). Through this enhanced understanding, better therapeutic methodologies can be discovered and implemented. Then, each session can be customized to the patient for maximum efficacy and compassion.
#2. Unseen Issues Can Become Easier to Identify
Some people may have unrealized mental health conditions which affect them in mysterious ways. Moreover, those conditions can overlap to create behavior patterns and emotions that are challenging to diagnose. But therapeutic active listen can help reveal hidden issues and determine the best treatments.
#3. You Can Skip the Guilt Trips and Lectures
Psychotherapists aren’t in the business of lecturing you about your choices, even if those choices lead to negative consequences. Instead, their attention to detail can help you make healthier decisions for yourself and weigh the options before deciding. There’s no side dish of guilt or shame, and you just talk if that makes you feel better.
#4. It’s Easier to Find Solutions That Actually Work
The most advantageous treatment becomes clearer as therapy sessions continue. Plus, psychotherapeutic approaches can be adjusted or combined with other therapies to create the most momentum. There is no one-size-fits-all solution to mental illness, and active listening may help to prove that.
#5. Everything You Share Is Confidential
Therapists know that it’s easier to open up when you’re sure the conversation is private. Unlike talking to friends and family, psychotherapists keep conversations confidential. That means patients can be honest about their thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment or contempt.
Active listening is sometimes called the art of compassionate communication. It’s a key component to practicing empathy for others while building confidence for yourself. Thus, experiencing the comfort of an actively engaged therapist can make a significant impact on a person’s mental and emotional wellbeing.
How to Find a Psychotherapist Who Really Listens
All psychotherapists are trained to listen to a patient speak, but not all therapists are active listeners. Finding a counselor you can trust and feel comfortable with may be challenging. So, start with BetterHelp to get connected to a mental health expert who understands the importance of compassionate communication.
BetterHelp review #232357
Date of review: October 3, 2021
Review written by BetterHelp user R.Y. after working with Kandice Cowherd for 2 months on issues concerning depression, stress, anxiety, relationship issues, intimacy-related issues, eating disorders, self-esteem, anger management, career difficulties, coping with life changes, and ADHD
“Kandice wonderfully balances making me feel heard and listened to while also providing new ideas and resources to work on improving or helping the wide variety of struggles I come to the session with. Just a couple months in, and I am feeling so good with all the progress I've made. I have full confidence that Kandice would support me and help me with anything I came to the session with. Kandice always responds quickly, check ins with me throughout the week, and overall has made this experience much easier.”
BetterHelp Review For Kandice Cowherd, LCSW
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How do I choose a psychotherapist?
There is no rule or law that says you have to pick a specific psychotherapist. The selection should be a personal and private one that focuses on your individual needs. So, it helps to have an idea of what you want to get out of therapy before starting treatment.
The best therapeutic approaches are lead by psychotherapists who understand and appreciate autonomy. Therapy should be built on a strong therapeutic relationship that fosters growth and healing. Further, counselors should possess the necessary licensing to provide psychotherapeutic services in that state.
Feel free to ask questions while interviewing different therapists. It’s important for the dynamic to make you feel comfortable, and sessions should be convenient for your current lifestyle as well. This may even mean attending online sessions from the comfort of your own home.
Which type of therapy is most likely to be the most effective in treating depression?
There are several ways to treat depression, and each approach can and should be tailored to the individual or group receiving treatment. However, psychotherapy (talk therapy) and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) have both been proven effective at either preventing or treating clinical depression. Be sure to talk to your therapist for more detailed information and to find a depression treatment that’s right for you.
What is the most important factor in the success of psychotherapy?
Psychotherapy is not a one-size-fits-all solution and it doesn’t treat all mental illnesses. Both the patient and the therapist must commit to treatment plans and follow-up to determine necessary adjustments. But the single most important factor in the success of psychotherapy is openness.
Without honesty, addressing mental illness and the subsequent symptoms may be more challenging. Patients and therapists must also maintain a positive, cohesive outlook to prevent secondary conditions. That doesn’t mean the therapist agrees with or condones all decisions. It merely means the therapist and patient agree on the goals for each session.
How do I know if a therapist is right for me?
You’ll know a therapist is right for you if you feel comfortable sharing the uncomfortable details of your life with them. The right therapist will actively listen to your words to make accurate diagnoses and offer the most effective treatment options. Licensed psychotherapists can also tailor each session to your individual needs based on lifestyles, schedules, and personal challenges.
What are the four types of psychotherapy?
There are four primary types of psychotherapy. Cognitive therapy is one of the most widely used because of its measurable efficacy. However, the three other types may be equally effective under different circumstances depending on the mental health condition they’re supposed to treat.
The three other types of psychotherapy are: psychoanalysis, behavioral, and humanistic. Each one has unique pros, cons, and limitations that should be discussed with a mental health expert. So, talk to your therapist for more details.
What are the 4 types of talk therapy?
There are four primary types of talk therapy. Behavioral therapy is perhaps the most widely known and used. It focused on redirecting self-destructive thoughts and forming more productive habits. It’s also often combined with cognitive therapies to create a cognitive-behavioral approach.
The three other types of talk therapy are: humanistic, psychodynamic, and holistic. Each one has unique pros, cons, and limitations that should be discussed with a mental health professional. So, ask your therapist more details.
What therapy is best for anxiety?
Cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT, is the most popular therapeutic approach for treating anxiety disorders. Research proves that CBT is effective at reducing and/or eliminating panic disorders, phobias, social anxieties, and generalized anxiety disorder. That’s why it’s important to find a therapist who specializes in treating anxiety. Productive and positive psychology has been shown to help patients cope and manage symptoms in healthier ways.
Is psychotherapy better than Counselling?
Neither psychotherapy nor counseling is superior to the other. The efficacy thereof depends on several factors, including the individual. Both focus on healing mental illness, but they do it in different ways. For example, psychotherapy aims to understand events that may have contributed to mental or emotional health conditions. But counseling generally focuses on short-term progress for temporarily stressful situations that cause grief, anxiety, or stress. Most counselors only work with individuals for a few weeks, while psychotherapists may offer support for years
What are the 3 types of therapy?
There are more than 50 types of therapy in psychology. However, psychotherapists generally use a combination of therapies to help treat an individual with a mental illness or guide a group through treatment. Talk to your doctor for more information on any specific therapy.
Do psychotherapists diagnose?
Psychotherapist is an umbrella term used to describe licensed psychologists in general. Psychotherapists specialize in treating mental and emotional health conditions. And while they cannot prescribe medications, they can provide a diagnosis and refer you to a psychiatrist for medication if necessary.
What is the most successful therapy?
Therapeutic success rates depend on several factors, including the individual, their diagnosis, and the skills of the therapist. However, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has been shown in repeated studies to be one of the most successful treatment options for a variety of mental and emotional health conditions. That’s because it has the widest range of usefulness and can be tailored to the specific needs of the individual.
What is the most common therapy?
There are several forms of psychotherapy, and each one has benefits and drawbacks to consider. However, psychodynamic therapies and cognitive-behavioral therapies are the most common.
Does psychotherapy really work?
Psychotherapy can work if the approach is calibrated correctly. According to recent studies, over 75% of people who entered psychotherapeutic sessions demonstrated a measurable benefit from it. The approach is often responsible for positive transformations in the brain and body, resulting in fewer sick days, lower medical bills, and boosted morale.
