Understanding the Psychology of Sex

By Robert Porter

Updated March 24, 2020

Sex is a very important aspect of life that should not be ignored. It is something that has the potential to bring you a lot of joy but it can also be dangerous. Of course, the motivation to seek out sex is wired into each and every human being. It's very important for the survival of the species and it winds up being a motivating factor for many of the decisions that people make in life.

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When you're trying to understand the psychology of sex, it's important to note that it's a very complex matter. This is not something that you can look at from only one angle. If you want to have a true understanding of sex, then you need to know that motivations and psychological desires will vary based on several factors. Take a look at some of the important things that you need to understand.

Differences Between Males And Females In Sex Psychology

There are actually some differences when examining sexual psychology in males and females. Typically, men seem to see sex as something that they constantly need to seek out. For some men, it's a primal type of urge that causes them to think of sex more often than they should.

When this gets out of control, it can sometimes lead to sex addiction or something like pornography addiction. Impulse control problems can become very problematic for some men, but they do tend to be more impulsive about sexually related things than women on average.

Women tend to see sex as an extension of their relationship with a partner. Sexual motivations in some women are motivated by deepening the relationship. Sometimes the motivations are also about procreation. The same can be said of men, but sexual urges are often seen to be much more powerful and prevalent in males.

Of course, this is all very general information and it isn't always going to be true in every case. There are many men out there who think about sex quite differently from the more primal type of male described above. You'll also find many women who think about sex in different ways. It's just important to recognize the traditional gender/sex differences in sex psychology.

Sexual Anxiety

Sex is something that people are psychologically motivated to participate in. Psychology can also play a negative role in keeping people from performing properly during sex. Many people experience problems with sexual anxiety that will prevent them from having fulfilling sex lives. Several different things can cause these anxiety issues.

Some people experience types of sexual or emotional trauma that keeps them from being able to be intimate with another person. An example of this would be someone who was abused in the past. Sometimes these negative events will stay with a person and prevent them from being able to form a satisfying sexual bond with others. Other times, there might even be a physical cause for this anxiety.

There are people who feel sexual anxiety due to their own appearance. A person who thinks that he is ugly or undesirable, he may have problems feeling open enough to let himself get into a sexual situation. He may desire it, but there is something holding him back psychologically. When people are experiencing this level of sexual anxiety, it can be tough to let go of their preconceived notions about their appearance even when they have a supportive partner.

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Also, there are many men out there who feel anxiety due to feeling inadequate. Men who worry about whether they have a smaller penis than average may avoid sexual encounters due to not wanting to be shamed. Often times, these fears are completely unfounded. That doesn't mean that the anxiety is any less problematic, though.

Anxiety problems can be difficult to cope with and you need to have professionals who can help you if you're going through a tough time. Feeling anxious about sex is going to prevent you from discovering just how great it can feel with the right person. This type of psychological problem can be very frustrating, but it is something that can be worked on. Many people have managed to overcome sexual anxiety with the help of dedicated therapists.

Sex Addiction

Another aspect of sex psychology to consider is desire. Everyone is supposed to have a sex drive and most people will desire sexual encounters in a normal way. There are those who wind up becoming addicted to sex and sexual actions, though. Sometimes the compulsion to have sex becomes so strong that people will seek it out to the detriment of their own health.

Participating in risky sexual encounters or compulsively seeking out types of sex can be dangerous. This is known as a sex addiction and there are actually millions of people who suffer from it. Sex acts release chemicals in your brain known as dopamine and some people get addicted to the positive feelings that sex acts give them. This can cause some people to seek out sex partners haphazardly and it can also lead people to compulsively masturbating.

This problem is something that some people may see as a joke, but it's actually very serious. Many people have ruined their lives due to sex addiction problems. It can cause people to lose their jobs and it can destroy relationships. This is a psychological problem that requires expert help and you should seek out a skilled therapist if you suspect that you have a problem.

It is certainly possible to learn how to get things back to normal after going through some type of sex addiction. Behaviors can be changed and you can place yourself on a different path. You just have to take the time to reach out to someone who can help you. This is not something that you want to deal with on your own.

Sexual Therapy Can Help

Sometimes sex problems are not going to be easy to overcome on your own. When this is the case, it's important to reach out to professionals to get the help that you need. There are many therapists out there who understand psychological sex problems and can work with you to help you heal. These issues have the potential to throw your life into turmoil, but therapists can help you to get everything under control.

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Whether you're dealing with sex addiction or if you're experiencing severe sexual anxiety, therapists will be able to help. They have experience when it comes to helping people work through issues. They can talk about what is bothering you and will have expert advice that can assist you to move forward.

Sex can and should be one of the best parts of life. Sometimes anxiety or addictive behaviors can take that away from you. You don't have to remain feeling as if sex is a problem in your life. It's possible to reclaim your sexual happiness - a therapist can help you to get to that point.

Reaching out to a skilled therapist is going to be very important when you're experiencing any type of psychological problem that is related to sex. Thankfully, there are many therapists out there and they help people with these types of issues all the time. You aren't alone in dealing with sex problems, as these issues impact the lives of millions of people each year.

Online Therapy Is Also Available

Online therapy is also available for you to consider. Some people feel a bit nervous or embarrassed about seeking out therapy. This is especially true for people who are experiencing sexual problems. The availability of online therapy makes it more practical for everyone to seek out therapy in a discreet way.

You can reach out to an online therapist today in order to start getting help. Online therapists are fully licensed and have all of the necessary experience to help you resolve your issues. It may take some time to work through what is going on in your life, but you can get there with the help of a compassionate professional. If you feel like your sexual anxiety issue is harming your quality of life, then you should know that things can change when you start working on the problem with an experienced therapist.

Online therapists know how to help people with sexual anxiety issues and they're also experienced with helping those who have a sex addiction. Any type of sexual problem can be helped through therapy. The process of healing can start today if you choose to reach out. Being able to get therapy from the comfort of your own home is convenient and you'll be happy that you have an ally on your side.

You can contact an online sex therapist whenever you're in need. There are many different options for how you can interact with the therapist online too. You can chat with them over the phone, video chat, or you can simply send text messages back and forth. Whatever makes you feel the most comfortable will work out fine and you can start making progress on fixing your sexual problems.

Don't hesitate to reach out if you've been suffering. Understanding the psychology of sex isn't always easy, but your therapist will be able to get to the bottom of any issues that you're experiencing. Everyone goes through difficulties from time to time. Just understand that you aren't alone and that you can get back to having a normal fulfilling sex life once again.

FAQ's (Frequently Asked Questions)

How do you sexually arouse a woman mentally?

Human sexuality is complex and nuanced. Sexual desire is something many of us have experienced in a myriad of ways. Depending on who you are, different things turn different people on, and sexual arousal varies from person to person. For many women, sex isn't solely about bodies connecting, but rather it's about a mental connection. If you want to arouse a woman sexually, make it about her. Not about her body, but compliment what you like about her as a person. Maybe you notice that she's assertive, and that's attractive to you. Let her know that you find her dominant nature sexy. It's not only about sexual behavior, but rather communication. A sex therapist can help you learn more about your sexuality or your partner's connection to sexuality and sexual experiences, so if you and your partner have struggles related to your sex life, that is a great place to start.

How often do men need sex?

Society tells us that men have a drive for sex that is significant. Social psychology shows us that a strong sexual desire is common amongst men. According to Edward O. Laumann, Ph.D., professor of sociology at the University of Chicago and the lead author of The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States, the vast majority of men who are under the age of 60 think about sex at least once a day. Whereas, Dr. Laumann notes that women have a more emotional and mental connection with sexuality. Many men can view sex and a physical want and need; on the other hand, a lot of women need to have an emotional component involved. Some women use sex for emotional satisfaction more than anything, but that can be true for people of any gender. Sexual behavior doesn't follow a pattern or formula. It's different from person to person. There are many articles on Psychology Today where you can read about gender differences when it comes to sex and sexuality. Everyone will have a different sex life, and everyone will experience a different amount of sexual desire. Sexual behavior is so individual from person to person that it's impossible to know how often someone will want sex based on gender alone.

Is sex a physiological need?

Sex is a physiological need for human beings. It serves different needs for a variety of different people. Sexual activity can be fun for some people, and others more meaningful. You can read articles about sexual desire on Psychology Today, whether it pertains to sex therapy, your personal sex life, what is sexually normal, or a variety of other articles about sexuality and sexual health. Sexual disorders like sexual desire disorder are also covered in Psychology Today. While there are many websites out there with psychological information, Psychology Today offers professionally reviewed pieces. Psychology Today provides an author's credentials so that you can trust what you're reading. You might be concerned that you have a sex addiction. If you're worried about this, you might want to contact a sex therapist. It can be challenging to admit that you have a problem, but it's essential to seek help. Sex therapy can help you work through addiction, talk about sexual health, learn about things like sexual disorders, understand sexual behavior, and understand what prompts your desire for sex. Learning about your sexual health can be freeing and can help you work toward a stable sex life.

Why do we have sex?

People have sex for different reasons. Some people engage in sexual behavior to connect with a partner. Human sexuality is fluid. Some people have a vibrant and healthy sex life, while others don't place importance on sex at all. A person's sexual preferences are individual. Many people explore their sexuality when they come of age, and their wants and needs change throughout life. If you want to learn more about your sexuality, you can read articles on Psychology Today. If you struggle with one of the sexual disorders, such as sexual desire disorder, a low libido, or worry about something such as a sexual desire that is exceptionally high, you can learn about it. Psychology Today is an excellent resource for learning about sexual health. You can also look at Psychology Today to find professionals in your area.

Is it okay to have sex every day?

Some people have sex every day, but this is not the case for everyone or even most people. The average amount that adults in the United States have sex is once per week, according to a 2017 study seen in the Archives of Sexual Behavior. Sexual desire is a natural feeling when you are attracted to someone. There are many variables when it comes to a person's sex life. You might have a massive sexual desire or appetite, or you may fall under the category of asexuality. For a person who is asexual, they don't want or need sex, or they may only be interested in it very infrequently.

Additionally, there are people with sexual desire disorder, which is characterized by a lack of sexual desire over a substantial and prolonged time. As long as sex is consensual, unless you battle a sex addiction that is taking over an unhealthy amount of your life and mental space, the amount that you have sex is probably fine. If you are concerned or unconfident in any aspect of your sexuality and sexual desires, seeing a sex therapist can help. A sex therapist is there to offer a safe space to individuals and couples. Sexuality and sexual behavior can be uncomfortable to open up about at first, but it will start to feel less awkward over time. A sex therapist is a non-judgmental person who has heard it all, so don't be afraid to talk about topics related to sex and sexual desire, love, or other issues in therapy or counseling.

Online Therapy Is Also Available

Online therapy is also available for you to consider. Some people feel a bit nervous or embarrassed about seeking out therapy. This is especially true for people who are experiencing sexual problems. The availability of online therapy makes it more practical for everyone to seek out therapy in a discreet way.

You can reach out to an online therapist today in order to start getting help. Online therapists are fully licensed and have all of the necessary experience to help you resolve your issues. It may take some time to work through what is going on in your life, but you can get there with the help of a compassionate professional. If you feel like your sexual anxiety issue is harming your quality of life, then you should know that things can change when you start working on the problem with an experienced therapist.

Online therapists know how to help people with sexual anxiety issues and they're also experienced with helping those who have a sex addiction. Any type of sexual problem can be helped through therapy. The process of healing can start today if you choose to reach out. Being able to get therapy from the comfort of your own home is convenient and you'll be happy that you have an ally on your side.

You can contact an online sex therapist whenever you're in need. There are many different options for how you can interact with the therapist online too. You can chat with them over the phone, video chat, or you can simply send text messages back and forth. Whatever makes you feel the most comfortable will work out fine and you can start making progress on fixing your sexual problems.

Don't hesitate to reach out if you've been suffering. Understanding the psychology of sex isn't always easy, but your therapist will be able to get to the bottom of any issues that you're experiencing. Everyone goes through difficulties from time to time. Just understand that you aren't alone and that you can get back to having a normal fulfilling sex life once again.


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