Closure Psychology
When a relationship ends or when a loved one passes away, we often hear about the need for "closure," but what does the principle of closure really mean? What is the psychology behind this term, and is it particularly positive or negative to need closure?
When we say a person has a need to achieve closure, we typically mean that they're seeking the answers or resolution that they feel they need to move on. See below for a more in-depth view of the psychology behind the closure, plus tips and information on seeking closure after some type of loss.
What science says about closure
Closure may sometimes give someone a feeling of control where there wasn't one before, and closure may provide a stronger foundation from which one can take action and move forward.
The need for closure may stem from the way the human mind makes sense of the world. In an area of psychological science known as Gestalt psychology, the law of closure refers to a strategy the brain uses to make sense of various visual elements.
Per Gestalt psychology, when a person is shown an image of a common item that is missing a key segment, the brain will automatically fill it in, or “close” the gap to perceive the expected familiar shape. Additionally, when several visual figures are presented in certain arrangements, an illusion may occur as the brain attempts to understand the various items as one whole image. In this famous example of this psychological Gestalt principle, when several ‘pacman shapes’ are arranged in a certain way, our brains believe we’re looking at a square rather than four pacmans.
Closure and social psychology
In a similar way, social psychology suggests that people tend to have a need to view relationships as a “whole” - as a complete story with a beginning, a middle, and an end. When a relationship concludes, the mind seeks to fill in any gaps before moving on. In other words, the person often seeks closure.
According to social psychology, a person's need for closure is thought to come from two sources: the urgency tendency, which is the need to find closure as soon as possible. The permanence tendency, which is the need to hold on to closure permanently, or for as long as possible. These motivated closure tendencies may lead a person to jump to conclusions that aren't necessarily correct or complete to find closure, which can create bias.
Biases are often created when a person cherry-picks from presented information that tends to support the answer that they desire most rather than what might actually be true. They can create an image of a person or situation that is unnecessarily positive or negative to find closure. The person then forms a judgment and may engage in decision-making based on the information that answers their question—even if it’s nothing more than a coincidence. The individual can feel a sense of closure and be able to move on as a result, even if the conclusion is incorrect, such as overly positive or negative.
The intensity of a person's need for closure may depend largely on their personality. People with an intense need for closure may be used to being in control and prefer life to go as planned. They may feel distressed by and have a desire to avoid uncertainty, and their sense of safety and well-being may depend on structure and plans. In addition to individual differences in personality, situational factors can impact the extent to which someone may feel the need to achieve closure. For example, if someone has recently experienced a death in the family, they may experience a greater need for closure than normal.
Conversely, people with less need for closure may tend to be more creative, open-minded, social, willing to "go with the flow," and spontaneous. These individuals may have already made up their minds about a situation, but they can often remain willing to consider alternatives without direct closure. They may also be more likely to enjoy spontaneous activities and keep friends who are unpredictable.
The Need For Closure Scale (NFCS)
To determine an individual’s potential need for closure, psychological researchers developed the Need for Closure Scale, or NFCS in 1994. Originally comprised of 42 items and revised to 15 in 2011, the closure scale has since been used in many studies and translated into multiple languages.
Structure of the Need For Closure Scale
The Need For Closure Scale evaluates people based on five subscales:
- Decisiveness
- Desire for predictability
- Preference for order and structure
- Discomfort with ambiguity
- Closed-mindedness
NFCS and political and social conservatism
Those who score higher on the Need For Closure Scale are often considered to be more conservative, which can also correlate with political and social conservatism. Research shows that people with conservative views tend to score high on the NFCS and require more closure compared to those with liberal views.
Low NFCS scores and avoidance
Opposite results of the NFCS may indicate a need to avoid closure. The need to avoid closure is often thought to be born of a person's desire to not engage in commitment or confrontation. In other words, someone who avoids closure may not want certain questions answered, as they might be afraid of what they'll learn. Or, there is also the non-specific need to avoid closure, which is the fear of receiving the answer to a question, regardless of whether the answer would have a positive or negative effect on closure.
Giving someone closure after a breakup
Perhaps you've been on the receiving end of a bad breakup in the past, and you don't want to leave someone else without closure. Later in life, you might realize that you're in a relationship that is not providing you with what you need, or that you’re unable to give what the other person needs. If this is the case, you might be wondering how to end it while giving the other person the closure they may need. Doing so could help you avoid an abrupt, unexplained break that leaves them with unanswered questions and a lack of understanding or closure.
In general, it’s best to be direct and truthful but gentle and calm when you end things with the aim of providing closure. You might answer their questions to the best of your ability and take accountability for your part in what may have gone wrong in order to help them find closure. Note that these psychological closure tips are generally best for those in largely healthy, non-abusive relationships. Seek help if you are leaving someone because they are physically or emotionally abusive.*
If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7.
Psychological strategies for healing
There may be instances where you will not be able to get the closure you desire from someone else, either because they refuse to communicate with you or be honest or because they are no longer present. In these cases, there are psychological strategies you can try to initiate healing and work toward the sensation and perception of obtaining closure on your own.
For example, research suggests that journaling may help following a breakup as writing your feelings in a journal could help provide a sense of closure. Meditation can be another effective way to get in touch with your thoughts and emotions to find closure. When you are relaxed and thinking clearly, it may be easier to come to a place of closure and engage in positive decision-making strategies for how you might move forward. Finally, taking the time to examine your inner dialogue or self-talk might not only enable you to claim authorship of your own story but also enlighten you as to how any disempowered language or thought processes might be affecting your mental health.
How online therapy may help you get psychological closure
If you're experiencing challenges related to finding closure from a difficult breakup process or the loss of a loved one, you might consider reaching out to a licensed counselor for guidance. If you don’t feel comfortable discussing a topic like closure at a therapist’s office, you might try online therapy, which numerous psychological studies have suggested may be just as effective as in-office therapy. For example, in a literature review of academic articles on the topic, researchers indicated that internet-based and mobile-based therapeutic interventions seemed to provide significant positive effects on symptoms of grief in adults experiencing bereavement.
Those who are interested in the convenience of online therapy might consider a platform like BetterHelp. You can get matched with a licensed therapist according to your needs and preferences and then meet with them via phone, video call, and/or in-app messaging. All you need is a smart device and an internet connection, so you can engage in sessions from the comfort of home or wherever else you may prefer.
Takeaway
What is closure psychology?
The concept of closure appears in several fields of psychology. For instance, Gestalt psychologists often view closure as a cognitive process for making sense of the world. In social psychology, meanwhile, closure is the process of moving forward from conflicts, losses, and major life events. Definitions and uses of the term can vary depending on the specific area of study.
What is an example of getting psychological closure?
A common example of psychological closure is getting rid of reminders of a romantic partner after a breakup. For instance, you might burn or delete old photos, donate items that remind you of the other person, or move to a new town to start fresh. These actions can help you let go of lingering negative emotions, accept the end of the relationship, and move forward with more peace and optimism.
What does it mean to give someone closure?
Giving someone closure usually means helping them make sense of the end of a relationship or other major life event. This might look like:
Talking or listening to them about what happened between you
Explaining your side of the story
Being honest about your emotions and challenges
Offering or seeking reconciliation, if appropriate
Taking responsibility for any part you might have played in the situation
Remember, while these behaviors can be helpful in some situations, you are not obligated to offer someone closure if you feel unsafe, or if interacting with them again might harm your mental health.
How do you get closure?
Getting closure can look different for different people depending on the situation. For example, if you’ve recently ended a relationship, getting closure might involve talking to your ex about what happened, honestly sharing your feelings, and listening to theirs. In contrast, if you’ve recently lost a loved one, getting closure might mean allowing yourself to feel grief, journaling about your feelings, or confronting reminders of them when you feel ready. Allowing yourself to process what happened is often the first step to moving forward in a healthy way.
Can you get closure from a narcissist?
It is rare to get closure from someone with narcissistic personality disorder. People with narcissistic personality disorder tend to struggle with empathy, self-awareness, and entitlement. As a result, they may have trouble taking responsibility for any harm they’ve caused in a relationship. They may even try to play mind games or manipulate you if you approach them for closure. Of course, this is not always the case, but it can be helpful not to assume that someone with narcissistic tendencies will offer you the closure you’re looking for.
That said, while you might not be able to get closure from the individual, you may still be able to find closure in other ways, such as:
Talking to a therapist or counselor
Allowing yourself to grieve the end of the relationship
Writing the person a letter or email (without sending it) to express your feelings
Journaling about your emotions, thoughts, and challenges
Joining a support group for people in similar situations
Why is understanding closure psychology important?
Understanding the importance of closure in psychology can be essential for processing the end of relationships, jobs, or significant periods in your life. When you recognize that getting closure can help you move forward, you may be more likely to act in such a way that allows you to find peace.
Should I contact my ex for closure?
Contacting your ex for closure can sometimes be helpful if:
You feel you still have unresolved conflicts or unfinished conversations
You can’t stop thinking about the relationship and are struggling to move forward
Something specific happened that you want to apologize for
You feel safe reaching back out to them
Keep in mind that contacting an ex can be a very personal decision. Getting back in touch may or may not be a good idea depending on their personality characteristics and the circumstances of the breakup. If you’re unsure whether to reach out, you might want to consider talking to a therapist or relationship counselor for guidance.
What is closure behavior?
Closure behavior refers to the tendency to want resolutions to events and relationships. Humans tend to struggle with ambiguous situations or events that don’t have a definitive “ending.” As a result, in the aftermath of a loss, breakup, or major event, they may engage in behaviors like:
Reaching out to someone to say goodbye
Burning or deleting personal items, photos, or belongings
Visiting a gravesite
Moving to a new town or city
Starting a new job
Working with a therapist to make sense of the event
Engage in journaling, painting, or other creative pursuits to process their feelings
Why is closure so important?
Closure can be an important step in ending one chapter of your life and getting a fresh start, especially after a loss, the end of a relationship, or another major life transition. The point of closure is not always to find a perfect resolution, but to:
Reflect on what happened and what it taught you
Make sense of why the event or loss happened
Avoid getting caught up in unresolved conflicts or grievances
Metaphorically end a past chapter of your life so you can start a new one
How do you give a sense of closure?
If you’re interested in helping someone find closure after a significant event or the end of a relationship, the following tips might be helpful:
Talk to them honestly and openly.
Take responsibility for your role in the situation.
Offer forgiveness if you feel you can.
Be clear with yourself and the other person about whether the relationship will continue.
Be patient and respectful.
Don’t feel obligated to provide closure if doing so makes you feel unsafe.
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