Crushes are common in the teenage years, but they do frequently persist well into adulthood, especially if you're not able to talk to the person, ask them out, and start dating them. Some obstacles in your way might include an unavailable partner (married or dating someone else), a lack of confidence, or maybe a long distance between the two of you that makes conversation difficult. In this case, it may be helpful to figure out how to stop thinking about someone.
Some people develop crushes on others who completely disdain them, and the lack of attraction only makes the person more obsessive. They start asking, "What can I do to impress them?" even though the answer is clearly: Nothing! We all want to feel attractive and like we're successful in all our efforts to find love, even if those efforts are misguided at times.
How To Get Over A Crush: Ways To Move On
Dr. Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D., wrote an article in Psychology Today, stating that romantic crushes are usually based on infatuation and "idealization."
This means that if you're saying, "I can't stop thinking about someone I like!" then you might be projecting attributes onto a crush… and this person may not be anything like you imagine them to be in reality. This is one reason why therapists might advise a teenager dealing with a crush to confront their object of affection, and tell them that they "like" this person. This allows the teen to get to know the crush in a real-world setting, rather than limiting all these obsessive thoughts to his/her imagination. If there is a mutual attraction from the other person, you may be able to pursue a relationship. But even if there's not an attraction, the belief is that once you can interact with this person and see them for who they are, you may soon realize that the romanticized feelings are false. You're in love with the idea of the person, but not necessarily the reality of who they are.
Are You Wondering How To Stop Thinking About Someone As An Adult?
If you can't meet the person that your mind can't stay away from, there are other things to try. Finding a distraction is important. Find a new hobby or a new interest. Take a vacation. Do something kind for the needy. Date someone else, if you think you're ready to handle getting into something new. In other words, distraction is good. Anything is better than just sitting in a room and "trying to stop thinking about a person." You ever hear that expression, "Don't think about pink elephants?" What happens when you stop trying to think about pink elephants? All you can think about are pink elephants. The same goes for trying to stop thoughts about someone you're obsessed with. The more you try not to think about that person, the more you'll end up with them on your mind, so turn to distraction instead. How stop thinking about someone? One way is to be active. This way you don't have as much time to obsess over them.
How To Stop Thinking About Someone
Below, we'll cover other how to stop thinking about someone.
1. Get in Touch with Your True Feelings
The first thing you need to do to get over a crush is to allow you to experience your feelings about your crush and yourself. We sometimes develop crushes because we think that person is better than we are. Another possibility is that you feel inadequate on your own and think the crush will complete you. Before you can move on with your life, you need to acknowledge your feelings and allow yourself to experience them. Talking to a counselor gives you a chance to describe your feelings to someone who understands. After you come to terms with your feelings, you can start to use techniques your counselor teaches you to put that person behind you.
2. Avoid Your Crush on Social Media
Social media does have some redeeming values. However, if you're obsessed with someone, being able to follow their activities easily on social media can keep you stuck in romantic feelings for them. Avoid clicking on their profile to read their information or catch up on their posts. You can't get to know who they are through social media anyway, so there's no point. People post the appearance of who they want you to see. Don't cyber stalk your crush. If someone brings up the person you have a crush on, excuse yourself from the conversation, change the subject, or move on to some other topic you find enjoyable, whether online or off.
Instead of dwelling on your crush and what they're up to, interact with the people who bring positive value to your life through social media. Perhaps they share humorous videos, congratulate you when you've done well, "listen" when you're feeling blue, or just look at life with a positive and independent attitude. These are the people who can make your social media experience worthwhile.
3. Get to Know Yourself Better
If You're Having Difficulty Letting Go, Talk To An Online Therapist
4. Pursue Your Interests
What would you like to do that you're not doing right now? Why have you put it off? Now is a great time to explore new interests. Choose a new activity or destination and try it out. Take a class or join a club. If you're interested in art, go to a museum you've never been to. Take up a new medium. For example, if you love to paint, mix it up! If you've worked in watercolors before, try oils or acrylics. Approach any interest in the same way: choose a facet of that interest you've never tried before and give it a try.
5. Stay Focused on the Here and Now
You may find that whenever you're obsessed with your crush, your thoughts are about another time and place. However, to be mentally healthy, you need to be aware and involved in right now and your current circumstances. A first step to reaching that goal is to learn to be more mindful. If you talk with a therapist, they can teach you about mindfulness and ways to practice it. After you learn to be mindful of your present surroundings, you can experience your life more fully, as it happens, in each moment of your life.
6. Get Involved with Your Community
Your community is the larger version of your home. Being active in community events and projects can bring great value to your life. You can be a part of something larger than yourself and help accomplish things you couldn't do alone. You might get to know people you've never met before or learn a new skill. You might even get to travel to a new place where people in your community volunteer to help others. Sometimes, too, clubs and social groups go on outings to fascinating places at home or away. Along the way, you can build up a greater support system than you've had in the past.
Is It Time to Seek Therapy?
If your crush keeps popping up in your mind, no matter what steps you've taken in your life, it may be time to get help from a trained counselor. They've learned to deal with unwanted thoughts and feelings in ways you might never come up with on your own. They can support you as you explore your feelings and examine your thoughts to understand what's happening to you better and to go beyond it. If you prefer, you can have therapy in your home, or anywhere you find comfortable and convenient. All you need is a reliable Internet connection and a counselor from BetterHelp. Soon, that crush can be a thing of the past, and you can build your life in a way that honors who you are. Read below for some reviews of BetterHelp counselors.
"I was so skeptical of therapy in the beginning, but I was in a bad place and needed help, and felt I had nowhere to turn, so I took the leap. I'm so glad I did. Beth has been an absolute lifesaver. She is a great listener. She's very intuitive. She's not judgmental. She helps me work through things in a way I couldn't do on my own. She can be light-hearted and funny, or firm and honest. She's a wonderful therapist. I can't say enough how she's helped me. I'm so glad I found Beth and BetterHelp."
"I am so glad I have someone like Joyce to talk with. She's able to get to my core issues and make sense of the many things I write to her. And even though I write a lot, she responds in a timely manner. It's been so helpful to have someone so experienced to help me sort through my issues and thoughts. I was a little skeptical about online counseling via messaging, but I think it's a great way of communicating because I can take time to make sure that I am expressing myself the way I want to, whereas I might feel more rushed if I were talking face-to-face. I'm impressed that even though we've never spoken directly, Joyce still has been able to understand me and help me so much in the short time that I've worked with her."
Try the tools and tips mentioned above to figure out how to stop thinking about someone, and move toward a positive life with fulfilling relationships. You can take the first step today.How To Stop Thinking About Someone
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What does it mean when a person is always on your mind?
When you can’t stop thinking about someone, it may have two sides to it. The first is you may have an intense feeling of love and care towards the person. Sometimes, you may be unable to get someone off your mind because you really hate that person. However, the latter is quite uncommon. It’s not bad all if you like someone to the extent of complete infatuation. However, try your best not to overdo this feeling. It may help to figure out how to stop thinking about someone.
When you can't stop thinking about a person, are you in their thoughts too?
There is a level of truth to this principle. Please note that this doesn’t necessarily mean you are obsessed about the person. Moreover, this only happens in some circumstances. For instance, for a lot of people, there has to be a mutual feeling. If the feelings are mutual, then this principle totally holds. Typically, this happens when there is a long distance between two people. Sometimes you may be longing to see them, and this kicks you into a deep line of thought. When you find yourself unable to get someone off your mind, imagine sending them a ball of white illumination.
What does it mean when a person is always on your mind?
When you fall in love with someone, the person always stays on your mind. However, you can also have someone you really hate on your mind. When someone is always on your mind in ways you can't stop, then it means you care for the person. Please try not to get too engrossed in your thoughts by meditating, visiting friends, or seeing a mental health professional.
What are the signs when you are on someone's mind?
There are proven ways that show someone's thoughts are about you. This may sound unbelievable, but when someone sneezes often or has hiccups, it may be a good sign that you are on that person's mind. However, that's just on the more physical view. Most of the time, when someone is thinking of you, they always try to reach out. It may be through social media or just a regular phone call. For instance, the person may subtly share a tweet related to their feelings for you.
How can you tell if they miss you?
Is it true when you can't sleep that a person is dreaming about you?
How do you know if a guy has thought about you a lot?
Is it true that when you've thought of someone they've thought of you too?
Often times, you may find yourself daydreaming about someone; you may be thinking about a guy, and you want to be sure you're on his mind too. Yes, it is true that someone may be thinking of you just the same way as you think of the person. The principle is simple; you get the same vibes you give off.
Most times, in a long term affair, both parties may not be thinking so much about each other. However, sometimes they may want to know if they still have that spark. Hence, this is where this principle helps. If you ever need to get someone off your mind, just imagine sending that person a ball of white light or a ball of white illumination.
Is it true if someone is on your mind you are on theirs?
It is possible that someone has you on their mind because you have that person on your mind. However, for this to happen, both parties need to have mutual feelings for each other. People are known to give out the same energy they get. So, it is possible that if you're unable to get someone off your mind, the other party may also be feeling the same about you. If you're in a situation where you don't want to continue thinking about someone, you may need to see someone that may help.
What are the signs a guy has you on his mind?
- Constant and consistent messaging
- He tries to reach you often through calls
- He’s always fast to answer your messages
- He’s always telling people about you
- He constantly checks you out on social media
- He could easily get jealous
- His friends or family may tell you