Do I Love My Boyfriend? Quiz Yourself And How You Feel

By Stephanie Kirby|Updated June 16, 2022
CheckedMedically Reviewed By Wendy Boring-Bray, DBH, LPC

You know your boyfriend is a good guy. He treats you right, and he feels like a perfect match for you. Perhaps your boyfriend has quickly become your best friend because you love spending hours a day talking to him. Maybe you want to explore if you feel that you like like or love him.

Telling someone you love them for the first time can be scary. Love implies commitment. And how do you know if you want to commit to this person? If you're going to say, "I love you," you want to be certain that it's true. There are several ways to know for sure. Continue reading to know if you are in love with your boyfriend, or if it’s just strong emotions.

boyfriend like love quiz

How Do I Know If I'm Really In Love With My Boyfriend?

How Do I Know If I'm Really In Love With My Boyfriend?

There's a difference between love and being in love. We'll discuss those differences below, including ways to tell if you love your boyfriend. Some of the ways include asking yourself:

  • Do you find him physically attractive?
  • Does he make you feel good about yourself?
  • Do you share common values?
  • Is he one of your best friends?
  • Can you accept him for who he is?
  • Does he show you respect?
  • Can you make little sacrifices for him?
  • Do you think about him often without forcing it?
  • Do you quickly want to make peace after a quarrel?

What are the odds of finding true love? eHarmony researched the odds of finding love in the UK. They worked with a mathematician that calculated factors such as population numbers, physical attraction, age range, and more. They determined that your chance of finding love is somewhere around 1 in 562.

And yet, the wedding industry is thriving. If you're wondering if you love your boyfriend, the chances might be a lot better than eHarmony predicts. Either you have strong feelings and are moving in that direction-or perhaps you're realizing it's not a great fit, which means you can get ready to move on and find the person who is. Either way, asking yourself, "Do I love my boyfriend?" will help you move in the right direction.

In Love versus Love

When people ask if they love their partner, they are often looking for that rush we call being in love. It is that feeling often portrayed by romantic movies and novels. The butterflies in the tummy, the feeling of perfection, and all those feelings associated with a new love. But like all emotions, that high cannot last forever. It has a time limit. The joyous feeling of being in love is not the same as loving someone. When you love someone, you make loving actions to build that stronger bond. That's what love is-building a secure and honest bond with someone. It is making a commitment to be with someone for as long as you can.

love or like / like partner

That feeling of being in love is wonderful, for sure. It's something most people enjoy. It is very common when it is your first time in a relationship or a new romantic guy friend. But an incredibly important key to a long-lasting relationship is a calmer feeling of knowing someone is always there for you and you for them.

Being in love is often thought of like stars in the eyes and butterflies in the stomach-not the feeling of exhaustion after being up all night listening to a snoring partner with a cold. This is one way of noting the difference between being in love and loving.

Love means doing what you should do to make the relationship work. It is putting that affection you have for your partner to work. Being in love is more like following your normal emotions of attraction for each other. You rarely contribute to it. You just know that you have that strong feeling for that person. We can now see that love is different from being in love.

Can You Have Both?

Can an individual be in love and love at the same time? Yes and no. Most couples will experience the euphoria of being in love for a couple of years at best. The being in love feeling started from the dating period to the engagement time and then the marriage to the honeymoon period. Then the feeling fades, and more realistic love replaces the stars and butterflies. However, even though those original feelings may be diminished, real love is a much stronger bond. The love becomes stronger over time while being in love feeling can still remain.

"Determining whether you love your boyfriend may take time, so it's okay to hold off on saying the L-word. In the meantime, talking to a professional counselor can help you sort out your feelings and determine whether the relationship is healthy."

Why do we need even to have the feelings of being in love? Why can't we just have that deeper real love to start with? Chemicals in our brains are responsible for butterflies' feelings and the endless barrage of thoughts about our partner, the only person we can think of. This is nature's way of ensuring the continuation of our species. If we are bombarded with a high positive feelings, we are more likely going to want to spend time—and ultimately reproduce—with that particular partner.

With that being said, it does not mean we cannot be in love with a partner we love; it just means that the overwhelmingly strong feelings of being in love have ebbed and are more realistic. Feelings of butterflies may always be there when you see your partner; however, they will be from the strong experiences that have tied you together rather than a whirlwind courtship. Love covers all the feelings, including being in love.

Do I Love My Boyfriend?

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to determine if you love your boyfriend. Just continue reading to view these questions and know if you truly love him. You will surely be able to tell if you are in love or just in love with your guy friend's idea.

Do You Find Him Physically Attractive?

The way your partner looks is often part of the initial attraction. The truth is that we get to like someone who appeals to our physical senses. Even if looks are not a high priority, most people at least consider basic hygiene and health, or whether the person's overall style is simple, classy, exquisite, fussy, or in line with theirs. You are looking for small things that speak to your lifestyle.

How Do I Know If I'm Really In Love With My Boyfriend?

How Do I Know If I'm Really In Love With My Boyfriend?

Psychology Today explains that we really aren't looking for models when it comes to physical attraction. It's more about making sure there is at least some moderate level of attraction. One author shares that he's never had a couple fail to create attraction in his years of counseling if there was something to work with initially.

Physical attraction does play a role in love, but if the only reason you are with this person is because of their appearance, he's probably not the best choice for a long-term love relationship. It's a bitter truth.

Does He Make You Feel Good About Yourself?

If you're with someone simply because you're used to it or because you have low self-esteem, it's not going to be a happy long-term relationship. And you certainly don't need a boyfriend who makes you feel lousy. While you may have feelings of love, there may also be negative feelings growing as well how your partner makes you feel matters a lot. Your partner should be able to bolster you. You should feel heard and supported by your partner. Even if there is a need to criticize something you have done, it should be done with no intention of downgrading your personality.

When you feel good about yourself, it is a good sign that you truly love your boyfriend.

Do You Share Common Values?

You don't need to have everything in common in order to love a person. But if you want to ensure a long-term relationship stays healthy, it's important to have some connection points and believe in some of the same things. Certain core values of life shared by both of you must be congruent. You may disagree about many things, but your belief that everyone is entitled to their own opinion might be enough. If you cannot agree on simple life matters, it really may not be favorable for a long-lasting relationship.

If you find that you frequently disrespect your boyfriend's views, it will be difficult for you to love this person long term.

Is He One of Your Best Friends?

Do you enjoy spending time with him, even if it’s just watching TV? Can you not wait to tell him about the funny thing that happened to you at the store? Can you laugh openly about something that should be embarrassing to you? Do you like his presence around you? Are you comfortable with his decisions? Does his opinion matter to you? Are you willing to try things with him that you wouldn’t normally enjoy, like a sporting event, just because it would make him happy? If these questions and many more have a positive response, you definitely love your boyfriend. Your boyfriend should be one of your best friends that you can share the little things, and your top stories with. Or, he should be in your best memories and stories.

When a relationship develops into love, your boyfriend will move from being someone you date to one of your very best friends, if not your best friend. This doesn't mean you have to push your other friends aside, but it does mean you think of him as more than just a friend and more than just a boyfriend.

Can You Accept Him for Who He Is?

To determine if you actually love your boyfriend, ask yourself if you can accept him for who he is. Do you love his personality, way of life, the good qualities and the bad? If you can see yourself putting in the effort to show love to this person, despite his flaws, then it can be a good indication you love him.

If you feel you want to fix him, he makes you question yourself or are constantly annoyed with him; then, you probably don't love him. If you criticize everything he does or does not like the fact that he seems incorrigible, it is not a good sign. In that case, you should ask yourself why you are with him.

Does He Show You Respect?

Respect is very important in all relationships, but especially in romantic ones. It is a two way street; both men and women want to be respected. All humans deserve respect; how much more two hearts in love. He should be highly respectful of you, your boundaries, decisions, family, and friends. He should make you feel safe, and should never push you to do something you don’t want to. On the same note, he should never treat you like you’re less than him or are undeserving of love. You will see that if he respects you, you are probably in love with him.

What to Do Next

Determining whether you love your boyfriend may take time, so it's okay to hold off on saying the "L" word. In the meantime, talking to a professional counselor can help you sort out your feelings and determine whether the relationship is healthy. It will save you from continuing in a toxic relationship or getting into one. Research shows that online therapy is a powerful tool in strengthening couples. 

How Do I Know If I'm Really In Love With My Boyfriend?

You may read the full study here: Marriage: A Randomized Controlled Trial of the Web-Based OurRelationship Program: Effects on Relationship and Individual Functioning.

BetterHelp has counselors waiting to help you. They can help you understand your priorities, uncover any areas of trouble, and move forward in your relationship — if that's what's best. You can read reviews of some BetterHelp counselors below, from people experiencing similar questions.

Counselor Reviews

"Jeffrey was a great fit for me, because he and I happened to have a lot in common and he could relate to my situations very well, making our sessions much easier than they could have been. He's very nice, polite, and is always interested in getting to what's truly causing the issues at hand. Would definitely recommend him to anyone looking for someone to talk to about relationships."

"Rachel is friendly and a calm individual. Really helped me understand myself and my relationships with others."

Conclusion

Understanding your feelings in a relationship is crucial to both the success of the relationship and your happiness. Take the first step to truly fulfilling relationships today.

 

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