I Feel Horrible That I Hit My Boyfriend

Violence is Not Something You Want to Continue Participating In. Get Help!
Learn to Effectively Manage Anger in Online Therapy

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If you're coming to this article thinking, "I feel horrible that I hit boyfriend", that's good. You should feel guilty about using physical violence against your partner. Having these feelings mean you recognize that this behavior was not the right way to keep a bond with your significant other. But you don't need to be too hard on yourself, especially if it's the first time this has happened. Sometimes we act without thinking. That being said, hitting your boyfriend can cause big problems in the relationship. So if your boyfriend is willing to continue the relationship, here are some steps you can take to try to make amends.

I hit my boyfriend. Now what do I do?

You've already taken the right step by recognizing your error. But your boyfriend doesn't know that you realize you were wrong to hit him unless your words and actions show that. The steps listed below are not guaranteed to make your boyfriend forgive you or stay with you, but they provide the best chance for continuing a healthy relationship.


First of all, apologize. Giving a sincere apology is absolutely the number one priority after hitting your boyfriend. He needs to hear the words and know that you don't think violence against him was the right thing to do.

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Commit not to hit again

You can promise your boyfriend that you won't hit him again if that promise feels right for you and him. But even more important than stating a promise is to commit to yourself that you will not hit him again. Promises can be broken if the one making them hasn't made the goal a personal mission.

Be aware of emotions and violent urges

Be mindful of what it felt like when you were about to hit your boyfriend. What emotions were you feeling? What physical sensations did you feel in your body? Would you recognize being in that state again? The next time you get angry or upset with your boyfriend, pay attention to whether your feelings are going back to the place, and find a way to remove yourself from the situation before you lose control.

Preventing further violence

It's a good idea to find ways to relax and destress. Often, we take out anger and violent urges on the people close to us, when the real issues are other stressors in our lives. Taking care of yourself is the first step in a healthy relationship. It's also important to explore whether you are personally at a place to be in a serious relationship at this time. Check for circumstances that contributed to the violence, such as drinking too much caffeine or alcohol. If it's possible for the relationship to continue, work on communication skills with your partner.

Violence is Not Something You Want to Continue Participating In. Get Help!
Learn to Effectively Manage Anger in Online Therapy

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Acknowledging your error is a good sign that you are self-aware. It's a good idea to explore why you lost control of your temper by getting counseling from a professional therapist.

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