How Well Do You Know Me Questions To Ask In Relationships

Medically reviewed by Elizabeth Erban, LMFT, IMH-E
Updated May 25, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Getting to know your partner on a deeper level is often an essential aspect of developing closeness in an intimate relationship. You may want to know if your partner has picked up on pieces of information you've given throughout your time together. If so, asking "how well do you know me" questions can be a fun way to connect and see how well your partner remembers what you've told them. It may also showcase your partner's unique perspective that you might not have considered when thinking about yourself. If you allow your partner to ask the questions back, you may also learn more about yourself in the process as well. These questions to ask your boyfriend or girlfriend can increase the connection in your relationship, making your bond stronger and healthier.

Get to know yourself and your partner on a deeper level

Why ask a ‘how well do you know me’ question

According to several different studies, healthy relationships are essential for positive mental health. Connecting with your partner through a fun questions game can be one way to feel intimate, cared about, and loved. 

You may want to see what your partner thinks about you and how they've interpreted the information they've learned about you during your relationship. If you recently started dating, you might test each other as a fun way to learn more. If one of you doesn't know the answer to a question, the other can reveal it, and a conversation might blossom from there.  

Fun questions for couples: From dream job to favorite TV show

There are a few fun questions you can try to get the game started that may even be fun questions for friends, including the following: 

  1. What's my biggest dream?
  2. What's my favorite color?
  3. What goals do I want to reach this year? 
  4. What did I want to be as a kid? 
  5. What's my favorite activity to do with you? 
  6. Where was I born? 
  7. Who was my favorite teacher?
  8. What was my favorite band in high school?
  9. Which of my siblings is my favorite?
  10. What’s my favorite ice cream flavor?
  11. What was my favorite trip I've taken? 
  12. What’s my middle name?
  13. Who would I talk to if everything in my life went wrong? 
  14. What three items would I take if we were stranded on an island? 
  15. What nicknames did my parents call me? 
  16. What’s my dream job?
  17. What was my first job?
  18. What do I want to name my kids?
  19. What’s my shoe size?
  20. Am I a dog person or a cat person?
  21. What was the last book I read?
  22. Who in my family do I connect most with? 
  23. Do I play a musical instrument? 
  24. What charity would I donate to if I chose to donate? 
  25. If I could have any animal as a pet, what would it be? 
  26. How do you think I talk about you to my friends and family? 
  27. How many friends do I consider close friends? 
  28. What are my friends' opinions of you? 
  29. What's my zodiac sign? 
  30. What’s my favorite kind of flower?
  31. If I opened a business, what would it be? 
Deep questions for couples: Biggest pet peeve and more

At times, having questions to ask your significant other can be a way to learn the deeper side of your partner or open a discussion about more sensitive topics. If you and your partner are looking for more intimate questions, try the following: 

  1. What was my first impression of you?
  2. Who is my biggest role model?
  3. Where is my favorite place to go when I’m sad?
  4. What’s my favorite way to spend time with you?
  5. What do I consider my life purpose? 
  6. What is a challenge I overcame in the past five years? 
  7. What's my deepest fear? 
  8. What celebrity inspires me? 
  9. What other country would I like to visit and why?
  10. What kind of marriage would I like to have (if any)? 
  11. Is there anything I want more of in our relationship? 
  12. How have I grown as a person since you met me?
  13. Where do I see us in five years? 
  14. What is my biggest pet peeve?
  15. What do I love most about myself? 
  16. What are my views on current political climates?
  17. Do you think I'd be a good president of the United States?
  18. Would I risk my life for anyone? 
  19. What inspires me above all else? 
  20. What would I do with my money if I had all the money in the world? 
  21. What was my favorite part of our first date? 
  22. Who made the first move in our relationship? 
  23. What is my most embarrassing memory? 
  24. What's a secret that no one knows except you? 
  25. Have I ever had a near-death experience? 
  26. Have I ever committed a crime? 
  27. What items are on my bucket list? 
  28. Who was my first kiss? 
  29. Have I ever had a problematic relationship? 
  30. What is my most profound regret? 
  31. Why did my last relationship end? 
  32. What do I value in relationships? 
Interests questions for couples or a best friend

If you want to check how well your partner knows your interests, try the following questions: 

  1. What's my favorite food?
  2. What's my favorite hobby?
  3. What would my perfect getaway look like? 
  4. Do I prefer coffee or tea? 
  5. What's my favorite holiday? 
  6. What's my favorite TV show? 
  7. What food do I hate? 
  8. How many languages do I speak? 
  9. What countries would I move to? 
  10. If I could be an animal, which would I choose? 
  11.  What's my love language
  12. Who is my best friend? 
  13. Do I like pizza? 
  14. What historical figure would I like to have dinner with?
  15. What's my favorite sport?
  16. Where do I like to go when I'm stressed? 
  17. What is my favorite grocery store? 
  18. What accomplishment am I most proud of? 
  19. If I had to sell everything but three of my items, which three would I keep? 
  20. Are there any hobbies I want to take up?
  21. If I had a YouTube channel, what would it be about? 
  22. Where do I want to travel? 
  23. What spices do I love to use in the kitchen? 
  24. If I could have a superpower, what would it be? 
  25. If I could only wear one color for the rest of my life, which would I choose? 
  26. What's an invention I wish I could create? 
  27. What's my favorite thing to do with friends? 
  28. If I wrote a book, what would it be about? 
  29. What's my favorite book or series?
  30. What's my favorite song? 
  31. What's my favorite animal? 
  32. Sexy questions for couples

Asking sexy or intimate questions may help you and your partner feel closer or get into the mood. Try the following options: 

  1. What's my favorite part of your body? 
  2. Where is my favorite spot to be intimate? 
  3. Would I ever try non-monogamy? 
  4. What smell turns me on? 
  5. What are my turn-ons? 
  6. Do I have any fetishes? 
  7. Where do I like to be touched?
  8. Is there a specific fantasy I want to try with you? 
  9. What gets me in the mood? 
  10. What's my favorite erotic theme? 
  11. Am I more dominant or submissive? 
  12. If I had the body of the opposite sex for one day, what would I do? 
  13. What makes me feel loved during sex? 
  14. Are there any toys I'd like to use in the future? 
  15. What's my favorite position? 
  16. Would I have intimate relations with a clone of myself? 
  17. Do I prefer foreplay or the act of sex? 
  18. What's my favorite foreplay technique? 
  19. Would I have a threesome?

Funny questions for couples 

If you want to start a funny conversation or discuss your favorite jokes, asking a funny question like those listed below might be a productive start:

  1. What's my favorite joke? 
  2. What's my favorite comedy? 
  3. If I could haunt someone as a ghost, who would it be? 
  4. What was my worst date? 
  5. What is my weirdest quirk? 
  6. What would I say to an alien if one appeared right now? 
  7. What would I say to my pets if they could talk? 
  8. What's the craziest thing I've ever done? 
  9. What was the senior prank at my high school? 
  10. What's my funniest story? 
  11. What's my favorite meme? 
  12. If I went viral, what would it be for? 
  13. Try to make me laugh. 
  14. Either-or questions for couples 
  15. Have you ever played "would you rather?" Below are some "this or that" inspired questions: 
  16. Do I prefer eggs or toast? 
  17. Would I rather lose all my clothes or all my shoes? 
  18. Would I rather everyone be jealous of me or everyone be my friend? 
  19. Would I rather be a reality TV star or an extra in a famous movie? 
  20. Do I prefer humor or loyalty? 
  21. Do I prefer commitment or communication? 
  22. Would I rather be rich and sad or poor and happy? 
  23. Would I rather feel new relationship energy or contentment forever? 
  24. Do I prefer rolls or toast? 
  25. Would I prefer a cruise or an all-expenses paid resort? 
  26. Do I prefer singing or dancing? 
  27. Would I rather have a big family or a successful career? 
  28. Do I prefer physical touch or words of affirmation? 
Make a date out of it

Consider setting aside some quality time to answer the above questions together. Quality time with a partner can strengthen your relationship bond. You may make a date out of it by bringing the questions to dinner or spending a romantic night in to discuss them. After your partner answers, have them ask you the questions. When you finish, you can discuss your answers and clarify any that were missed. 

Online therapy with BetterHelp

At times, relationship concerns can arise with a partner. While working through these questions, you may find that there are areas of your life that you'd like to work through or improve. Self-growth can be an essential life skill, and therapists are trained to provide techniques to manage everyday stress, behaviors, and symptoms of mental health disorders. You can sign up for online counseling through a platform such as BetterHelp for individuals or Regain for couples. This means you can connect with a professional who has experience in the area you’re struggling with.

The efficacy of online therapy

Many often prefer online counseling to traditional in-person therapy because it is more affordable and can be done from home. Studies also indicate that online counseling is often more effective than in-person therapy. One study showed that online therapy was just as effective as talking face-to-face, with 71% of participants preferring internet-based interventions to traditional ones. 


Asking questions can be one way to get to know a partner and see how well they know you. The above questions may be used to get to know someone on a deeper level, learn new things about yourself or your partner, and have fun on a date night. If you or your partner requires support from a professional, consider reaching out to a counselor. Growth in your relationship is possible with the right tools and support.

Build healthy relationship habits with a professional
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