What Are The Best "How Well Do You Know Me" Questions?

Updated October 3, 2022 by BetterHelp Editorial Team

"How well do you know me" questions are a great way to gauge the closeness of a couple or learn new things about your partner that you have never discovered before. These questions can be a fun way to test your partner to see how wise they are toward your quirks, preferences, and habits. Whether you are just getting to know someone you're interested in or have been married for decades, there's always something new to learn about the other person.

Keep Your Relationship Fresh. Find New Ways to Get Closer to Each Other

"How well do you know me" questions can give each person in the relationship a sense of how attentive they are towards their significant other. If you're wondering whether or not a relationship is headed anywhere or headed in the right direction, this can be a great place to start (online therapy can also help). No one wants to waste their time on something that is stagnant or doesn't have potential. On the other hand, maybe you are in a long-term relationship and are curious about how much your partner knows about you. You may be finding it difficult to find the right place to start. These questions are a great way to start that conversation with your partner in a fun and light-hearted manner.

Regardless of if you're in a new or long-term relationship, "how well do you know me" questions are a great way to get to know someone better, whether or not you've known them for a long time or just a short while. Even if you've known your partner since childhood and think you know everything about each other, there's always more to learn. Your questions could take them by surprise and teach you both things about the other you didn't know before. Part of building intimacy with another person is being open about your thoughts and feelings and never stopping asking good questions. The whole point of asking these questions is to try and build an understanding of where the other person is coming from and, more importantly, why they're coming from that perspective.

Does Not Knowing My Significant Other Spell Doom for the Relationship?

Those new to a relationship, and even those who have been together for years, may not always be aware of some of the deeper aspects of their partner's personality. Some wants, needs, and desires may go completely under the radar or may show up so sporadically that you miss or forget about them. When this happens, it can create an unhealthy distance in the relationship. One or both people may start to feel unknown, unloved, or like they aren't being seen for who they are. Partners in this position will often wonder, am I a bad partner?

Not knowing everything about your significant other does not mean your relationship is destined to fail. There are plenty of other people out there who do not know everything about their partner or may slip up sometimes. It simply means you just need to take some more time to learn and absorb that information.

Remember, too, that you don't have to tell your partner everything and that they probably won't tell you everything either. Every individual has boundaries, a mind of their own, and the ability to withhold or share what they wish to. Although it's likely that the closer you get and the longer you know one another, the more you'll come to find out about them, there will always be something you don't know about them. It would simply be impossible to know everything about another person, though you can come close.

"How well do you know me" questions can be a light-hearted and fun way to learn more about your partner, no matter what stage you are in the relationship. If you have been together for a long time and feel as though you and your partner know a lot about each other already, maybe start with harder and more personal questions to make it more of a challenge or turn it into your next date night idea. 

25 "How Well Do You Know Me" Questions for Couples

Questions:

  1. What is my full name?
  2. When is my birthday?
  3. What am I insecure about?
  4. What is my favorite food?
  5. What food do I hate?
  6. What is my biggest pet peeve?
  7. What's my favorite TV show?
  8. What's something that always cheers me up when I'm sad?
  9. What did we do for our first date?
  10. What is my biggest fear?
  11. If I could travel anywhere, where would I go?
  12. What are my long-term goals?
  13. What are my main career goals?
  14. What three things do I like most about you?
  15. What is my favorite song or artist?
  16. What are my talents?
  17. What's my favorite smell?
  18. What are my parents' names?
  19. What are my favorite pastimes?
  20. What is one of my best childhood memories?
  21. Am I a dog or a cat person?
  22. Do I have any allergies?
  23. If I could bring a famous person back to life, who would it be?
  24. What is something that I would never admit to anyone else?
  25. If I could be any animal, what would it be?

By answering these questions about each other, you and your partner will have a better idea of whether there is a high amount of intimacy and knowledge in the relationship. If they answer many questions correctly, that may mean they pay close attention to your needs, habits, preferences, feelings, and the things you say regularly. That's a good thing! These questions can also help you two connect on a deeper level as a couple and with yourself.

These questions can also just be a starting point to a larger conversation. Perhaps you have been in a relationship with your partner for a while, or even just got engaged, but are still unsure of where they stand on certain issues or values that are important to you. Maybe you feel as though you missed the right time to ask some more personal questions or that you don't know each other on a deeper level. Set a game night with your partner where you both ask "how well do you know me" questions or use them on your next date. These questions can be a light and fun way to get the conversation started on a more serious topic, especially if you struggle as a couple to talk about the harder things of life.

More Ways To Use The How Well Do You Know Me Questions

While these questions seem straightforward, there are a few different ways you can use them. Listed below are some ideas to get you started. However, it is important to remember that you can be as creative as you want with this exercise because the whole point is to have fun and get to know the other person better:

  • Ask the questions exactly as they are: When you follow this strategy, you will be asking your significant other to answer the questions about you. This can be fun, almost like a game show if you've been together for a while. However, if you don't know each other very well, it can be frustrating to ask them this way.
  • Have a conversation about the questions: Instead of asking them "how well do you know me" questions, you can simply state your answers to each other. That way, no one has to guess or remember what the other person's answer is. You can both simply relax and talk about your answers together. Doing it this way leaves little room for error or possible arguments if someone doesn't answer correctly.
  • Answer the questions all at once: You can make a whole date night out of the "how well do you know me" questions. Go out to dinner and discuss your answers over your meal. You can have one person answer all the questions simultaneously, or you can simply answer them together. Note that vulnerability breeds vulnerability, and it may be hard for just one partner to take on the task of answering the questions on their own. That being said, if one partner struggles with being vulnerable, the other can sometimes take the lead and will naturally make the other less nervous about sharing what's on their mind.
  • Write your answers down: If you don't want to take the chance of impacting one another's answers by whoever responds first, you can both go through and write down your answers to the questions. Then, when you are finished, you can discuss your answers together. You both might be more willing, to be honest, and open about your answers if the other person's response does not impact them.

Choose one question at a time: Instead of going through the whole list in one sitting, you can use this as an ongoing exercise. Put a handful of questions into a jar or hat and draw them out once a day or on date nights. Place them on the kitchen table or in the family room, where they're easily accessible. When you're ready to discuss one of them, simply draw one out of the jar and start talking. 

Things to Keep in Mind When Asking Questions

  • Remember that everyone is different. It's okay if you're a dog person and they're a cat person. It doesn't mean you can't be happy together! It makes the relationship more exciting when there are lots of differences. That doesn't mean you shouldn't share the same goals and values (because those are important to have in common), but it does mean that your differences can be a catalyst to bring you closer to one another and spark interesting conversations.
  • Don't try to influence the other person's answers. Allow them to answer the "how well do you know me" questions on their own. You want to get to know them without any outside influences impacting their answers.
  • Don't interrupt. Sometimes it may be hard for your partner to answer the "how well do you know me" questions, especially if they are more personal. The goal of the questions is to allow you and your partner to get closer and learn more about each other, so make sure you give them the proper space and time to answer.
  • Remember that you might not know the person as well as you think you do. Don't get frustrated if they answer one or more of the questions you didn't expect. Some of these questions may be about things that you and your partner have never thought about or discussed. They can be a great start to open up a larger conversation between the two of you about important things such as values and your future together.
  • Ask questions. These questions can start entire conversations that allow you to go deeper. Even the simple question of 'what's my full name?' can go into a deeper discussion if you ask follow-up questions. You could ask things like, "Is there a story behind your name?" or, "Did you like your name growing up?" or, "Have you ever wanted to change your name and, if so, what did you want it to be?" In other words, the questions and answers should be the start of the conversation, not the end of it. Talk as long as you'd like between asking new ones.
  • Add new "how well do you know me" questionsIf you make it through this list of 25 questions, you can try making up new ones to ask each other, such as:
    • Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?
    • If you were on a deserted island, what three things would you want to have with you?
    • What's your favorite school memory?

Additional Tips to Improve Your Relationship

Relationships are hard work, and just getting to know each other won't be enough to help you get through difficult points. Along with these "how well do you know me" questions, it can be helpful to make other things a priority in the relationship. Consider the following tips:

Apply What You Learn to Show Appreciation

Knowledge is only power when it has been applied to what you have learned. Don't let your newfound knowledge of your partner go unused. Leverage their likes and needs to your advantage by setting update nights or making presents that show you care. Take what you learn from your "how well do you know me" questions and conversations and apply your knowledge to show that you're listening to their responses.

More serious conversations will likely come up when discussing these questions. This is a good thing and will allow you to apply what you learn even more. For example, if you learn that your partner grew up in a home where shouting and throwing items was the common response to conflict, you'll know that raising your voice isn't the way to go when you two get in a fight. If getting to know each other more isn't creating actual change in the relationship, consider that one or both of you is withholding too much information, not being vulnerable, or even being dishonest.

Accept That You May Not Always Have the Same Hobbies or Likes

Some people believe you have to enjoy the same things as your partner to be compatible. While you should have some things in common, not having things in common can keep a relationship going even more and allow you to explore things you didn't even know about. Accept (and embrace) that you and your partner are two different people. A relationship can thrive without you having the same personality. While you're answering each other's "how well do you know me" questions, remember that it's a good thing to be still learning about each other. If you find that there are some things you disagree on, understand that that's okay, too. As long as you share the same morals and values, don't sweat the small disagreements.

Make Communication a Must

Many people will make communication a priority at first and then let it slip away over time. The reality is that communication is always necessary, and you must keep it open. There should be times when you feel comfortable discussing whatever is on your mind with your partner throughout the week. These should be uninterrupted moments of quality time spent together. Remember to prioritize communication even if your communication styles are different from one another. 

Respect Each Other's Boundaries

The newer your relationship is, the more you're still figuring out one another. If you ask a question and the other person feels uncomfortable, caught off guard, or doesn't want to answer that specific one, respect their wishes. They might divulge that information to you in the future but just aren't ready to at the moment. When you show respect for a person's decisions, you'll grow the trust in the relationship and often cause that person to appreciate you even more.

Keep Your Relationship Fresh. Find New Ways to Get Closer to Each Other

Questions When Reaching Out To BetterHelp

Do you still feel like things are up in the air between you and your significant other? Are you struggling with vulnerability or intimacy? If you aren't sure if you're in a healthy relationship, online counseling services like BetterHelp are a great way to discuss those concerns. You'll be matched with an impartial counselor who can help you gain the insight you need moving forward.

Perhaps you learned during your "how well do you know me" conversations that you're not on the same page about how to split finances, or maybe you found out that one person wants to wait ten years before having kids, while the other only wants to wait a few years. Licensed therapists can take these disagreements and help you focus on healthy communication, compromise, and commitment (if both partners want the relationship to last). 

Couple counseling can often be overwhelming, but with this option, you and your partner can work around any scheduling or travel issues that would come up with traditional therapy. Every relationship has its problems, but you don't have to face them alone. Anyone can benefit from therapy, whether you're in a new relationship or have been in a committed marriage for years. Read below for some reviews of BetterHelp counselors from people experiencing similar issues.

Therapist Reviews

"Stephanie is a gem! She's very thoughtful, thorough, honest, insightful, and most of all helpful. This is coming from a person that never wanted to do counseling and just "knew" I didn't need it. She's been key in helping my wife and me find our better place. She made us grow as a couple and individually. Thanks, Steph!"

"Emily has been very helpful to me in my communication challenges with my partner. She took the time to understand in my past counseling and counselors what worked well and what didn't. She respected that input during our sessions. I appreciated it because we were able to get down to why I was using BetterHelp quickly, and she had an idea of what would work for me."

Additional "How Well Do You Know Me" Questions

If you would like to ask your partner more "how well do you know me" questions, here's a list to start with:

Questions

  1. What is your favorite restaurant to go to?
  2. What household chores do you hate the most?
  3. What type of music makes you happy?
  4. Who is your celebrity crush?
  5. What is your favorite childhood memory?
  6. Who is your favorite author?
  7. What's your favorite meal for me to make?
  8. What's your favorite outfit to wear during dates?
  9. Do you feel you're organized or messy?
  10. What would be the meal of the day each week if you could choose one?
  11. Which family member on my side annoys you the most?
  12. If you could ask me random "how well do you know me" questions, what would it be?
  13. What was your favorite subject in high school?
  14. Do you think you curse a lot?
  15. How do you feel about your parents?
  16. Do you want to go to your high school reunion?
  17. If you had a million dollars, what would be the first thing you would purchase?
  18. If you could play any instruments, what would you play?
  19. Would you go to your partner's school reunion?
  20. Would you rather stay at home or go out on a date?
  21. What is the one weakness in our marriage?
  22. What's the worst trouble present in our marriage?
  23. If your partner was sick, would you stay awake for 24 hours?
  24. Do you brush your teeth twice a day or once a day?
  25. What is your favorite social media?
  26. Is it something you could do for hours straight?
  27. If you could get a tattoo on any part of your body, where would you get one?
  28. Do you make sure to let the family know when you run late at work?
  29. How much stress do student loans put on you?
  30. What are your thoughts on open relationships?
  31. Would you like to be engaged and get married someday?
  32. Would you rather be poor but be close to family, or rich but far away?
  33. Who is your favorite pop culture personality?
  34. Do you have any fond memory of summers as a child?
  35. Have you been anywhere outside of the United States?
  36. If you could have sex with your celebrity crush, would you?
  37. What type of music do you like to listen to while having sex?
  38. What's the one issue with social media that you have?
  39. Which family member annoys you the most?
  40. What was your favorite subject as a child?
  41. Who is your favorite author?
  42. Do you have any questions about childhood that remain unresolved?
  43. Do we need to do more couple stuff, or are you happy with what we do?
  44. Where do you want to go on vacation?
  45. Do you love cats or dogs more?
  46. What position do I sleep in?
  47. Do you love simple or luxurious things?
  48. Do you love store-bought or homemade gifts?
  49. What was your favorite sexual experience?

These are all good questions to ask, and while some of them may highlight the good or bad in the relationship, they're worth asking. Some of them are great questions to probe your partner's mind and get a good idea of what they're thinking. For example, consider the idea of open relationships; your partner may be curious about exploring the option, but you're not so sure how you feel about them. If you're both honest about your feelings, you can come to an understanding together. These questions are designed to enhance your relationship. You can pick a couple to get started with and go from there.

Questions Conclusion

Regardless of how long you've been in a relationship, learning more about your partner will help to strengthen your bond and keep the mystery going. Hopefully, this stronger bond will help you fall more deeply in love with your partner. Knowing someone better normally has that effect fairly naturally. A lasting, fulfilling relationship is possible with the right tools. Take the first step today and figure out what growth opportunities exist within your relationship.

Therapy is a personal experience, and not everyone will go into it seeking the same things. Still, you can get a lot out of online therapy, regardless of your specific goals. If you're still wondering if therapy is right for you and how much therapy costs, please contact us at contact@betterhelp.com. BetterHelp specializes in online therapy to help address all types of mental health concerns. If you're interested in individual therapy, please reach out to contact@betterhelp.com.

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