I Hate My Boyfriend: Should We Break Up?

Medically reviewed by Paige Henry, LMSW, J.D.
Updated August 10, 2023by BetterHelp Editorial Team

There is generally no rule book or “right way” to move on from a relationship. It is likely that both you and your partner will feel emotional pain or devastation, even if you are the one who has decided to separate. Still, there may be a number of measures you can take to make the negative aspects of a breakup more manageable.

If you are in a safe space to do so, you may want to begin by letting your partner know in an honest and calm manner that you feel it is best to break up. 

Enlisting the support of trusted friends and family members can be helpful once you have solidified the end of the relationship. 

If you are in a situation where you are living with your partner, you may want to seek other living arrangements prior to breaking up to avoid additional stress and tension in the household. A stable and comfortable living situation is often crucial to moving on after a relationship. 

Just as every relationship can be unique, every breakup can be unique. For this reason, seeking support from a therapist or other mental health professional can be highly beneficial when deciding to move on from a relationship.

When To Seek Professional Help

If you are unsure of what negative feelings toward your partner could indicate, it may be helpful to consult a therapist or relationship counselor. It can be common to feel uncertain about whether your relationship is worth maintaining in times of distress. Help from a therapist can often guide you in making this decision. You may also want to try working out your feelings alongside your partner in couples therapy. 

Additionally, the mass of feelings that tend to follow a breakup can be extremely difficult to navigate. Because of this, many people choose to seek professional help for guidance in moving on in an emotionally healthy way. 

Benefits Of Online Therapy

Thanks to a recent uptick in the availability of virtual mental health services, seeking both individual and couples therapy has likely never been easier. Online therapy can offer an easy and accessible option to receive therapy from the comfort of your own home. With online therapy, you can often schedule sessions outside of typical office hours, which can make it simpler to find a time that works for both you and your partner.

Not Sure Whether It’s Time To Move On?

Effectiveness Of Online Therapy

If you’re considering trying online couples therapy, it may put you at ease to know that research suggests it can be quite effective. One study found that “the results indicated improvements in relationship satisfaction, mental health, and all other outcome scores over time.”

Meanwhile, if you’re interested in individual therapy, research suggests that it’s generally as effective as in-person therapy in treating a variety of mental health disorders and concerns.

Counselor Reviews

"Michal was great. She felt out my difficulties and helped me to work on processes which enabled me to rebuild my relationship with my partner."

"I've worked with Jamie for a number of months and he's helped me with everything that life has thrown my way. Difficulty in work, my relationship, and other stresses that I've struggled to navigate by myself. He listens and he helps. I always feel validated and supported. He gives me tools and perspectives that have made a big difference in my overall happiness."


If you feel that you hate your boyfriend, it may be possible that the feeling will pass, but it could also be an indicator that the relationship has run its course. In either case, taking time to yourself to evaluate the depth of your feelings or doing so with the help of an online or in-person therapist may make your situation easier to navigate. You can attend therapy individually or with your partner.

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The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.
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