Is He Cheating?
Are you starting to feel paranoid that your boyfriend or husband is cheating on you? Perhaps his behavior has been a bit unusual lately and you don't feel like you're as close. These feelings could be a sign that something is amiss. It's also possible you might simply be experiencing some relationship-related anxiety, and that the man in your life is actually being faithful. It can be difficult to determine the truth, but you need to know for sure. This article will discover some tools you can use to determine the answers to both these questions.
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Approach the Situation Pragmatically
"Is he cheating or am I paranoid?" are two different questions. It's best to look at these questions individually. The first question (Is he cheating?) is about his behavior. The second question (Am I paranoid?) is a mental health issue you can deal with on your own.
By determining if you're paranoid, you're working on yourself before considering your partner. It's important to understand the symptoms and signs of paranoia, so you can recognize them in yourself and make any necessary changes. That way, you'll be able to understand what to do next when it comes to his behavior and the signs he’s cheating are different than paranoia.
Do You Feel Intense Anxiety or Fear?
Intense anxiety and fear are symptoms of paranoia. If you're mentally healthy and independent, you have no reason to feel anxious because of someone's bad behavior. That's their problem, not yours. If you discover that he's cheating and there's evidence to prove this, you may decide the relationship isn't worth your time and effort. Even that wouldn't be a cause for fear or paranoia.
Unfortunately, you may feel that anxiety anyway. You may be overly concerned with whether he's talking to other people or whether he's spending a lot of time away from you. You may be concerned about whether or not he's talking to you as much as he used to, or if he wants to spend as much time together as he once did. If you find yourself consumed by these worries, it could actually be causing more problems.
Do You Mistrust Him Even When He Shows No Signs of Cheating?
Do you scrutinize everything he says and does? If so, your lack of trust goes beyond a possible affair. It may be a sign that you're too wrapped up in him to take care of your mental health. Focus on your mental health first, and your feeling that he's deceiving you will become less vivid and less important. You may think that if he's cheating now or if he has in the past then your concern is valid, but this is still unproductive behavior.
Being obsessed with signs of cheating, whether it's there or not, is going to cause problems. It's impossible to enjoy your life when you're constantly worrying about what your partner may or may not be doing. You'll be harming your own mental health just because you're concerned about him. If you can't trust him because he's cheated before or he exhibits other untrustworthy behavior, then you may want to end the relationship, but continuing on this way isn't going to help either one of you. The important thing to remember is, you will be okay no matter what happens. It may seem difficult or even impossible to believe this, but it's the truth.
Are You Hypervigilant?
Hypervigilance is a symptom of paranoia as well as certain other mental disorders. When you're hypervigilant, you have a heightened sensory experience with your environment. Noises sound louder, colors are more vivid, and you may have a heightened startle reflex. The smallest changes in his appearance and behavior can seem overwhelming. This is all a part of seeking justification for feeling you can't trust him.
If you feel hypervigilant and you're always on edge looking for something different, then you're likely paranoid. This is an extreme symptom, but if you notice you're suddenly on the lookout for even the smallest thing, you should be looking into getting help for yourself. Getting treatment for paranoia is definitely an important step.
What Proof Would Satisfy You That Your Suspicions Are Wrong?
Think for a moment about what kind of proof you need to stop feeling betrayed. Would anything prove it to you? If not, there's a good possibility you're simply paranoid. You've already tried him in your mind and found him guilty. Now, you're just looking for proof that backs up your fears. If there is something that would prove it to you, then you don't trust him, and that's a different issue.
Consider Practical Ways to Fight Paranoia
There are actually a few practical steps you can take to fight paranoia. Perhaps the best is eating a healthy and balanced diet. When people aren't eating healthy, it can make them edgy. You might also want to limit your caffeine intake since that has led to an increase in paranoia for some people.
Getting a good night's rest is also imperative. Try to get around seven or eight hours of sleep per night. If you're depriving yourself of sleep, then your paranoia is likely to worsen over time. Be sure to get to bed at a reasonable time so that you don't disrupt your normal everyday routine.
Talking to a therapist who can guide you in exploring the possibilities of both his cheating and your paranoia is also an efficient way to figure out the truth. If you get the right help and are honest in your assessment of the situation during the therapeutic process, you'll eventually know whether you're mentally healthy enough to find the answers you seek. And if not, your therapist can work out a treatment plan for you to improve your mental health. An online therapist is a great resource for you to find out what your symptoms are and how they are impacting your life.
You can work through your thoughts and feelings related to the issue of his cheating and discover any other issues that might need addressing. After talking it over, you may find the relationship isn't working for you, regardless. After all, you want to make sure you have a healthy relationship, and if you can't trust your partner you're definitely not moving in the right direction. Read below for some reviews of BetterHelp counselors, from clients experiencing similar issues.
"Within just a few sessions with Monica, I was in a much better place emotionally, mentally, and had renewed hope. After a strong rift with my husband, I needed a compassionate ear that wasn't my friends or family. She listened, gave me good feedback and assigned helpful habits. So far everything she suggested gas been working really well. Thanks to her I've made great progress, and I'm excited to continue until I'm back to me. I'm so glad and thankful to better help for not only providing therapy at a price I could afford but having sessions from home, which has been important for me since all of this has made me paranoid about going out to seek help. I know I have more work to do, but with Monica and Betterhelp, I'm more hopeful now than I have been in about two years. That's priceless to me."
"I've only had two sessions with Linda but have learned a lot about my relationship with my husband and she has given me a lot of food for thought and different ways to look at the situation as well as ideas on communication. She has been very helpful!"
More Than Just Your Paranoia
If you know you don’t have paranoia and you feel your partner is cheating, it can be quite a hard situation to deal with. If you start to question it, and he accuses you of cheating, or there is obviously some mistrust there, you might want to look into if your partner is cheating or not.
Sometimes its hard to determine if you have a cheating boyfriend or not. But if you notice the signs, he’s cheating rather than just a feeling of general mistrust or hypervigilance, then you might want to question this. Sometimes, its hard to tell if they’re cheating.
But, if you’re unsure on whether or not you’re on the right track with this, or if you’re just being paranoid, talking with a counselor can help. That way, if the partner is cheating, they can help you iron out the situation so that you can make the right decision.
Remember, saying that someone is cheating is not a light statement. It isn’t something that you can accuse of someone willy-nilly. If you’re paranoid, maybe a conversation with them is in order about how you feel, and what they’re up to.
Take some time to look at what's happening in your life and what it might mean for you. Don't let paranoia or cheating ruin either of your lives. No matter what happens--with the right tools, you can move forward to a fulfilling, lasting relationship. Take the first step.
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