If you are concerned your partner will cheat, is cheating, or was cheating in the past, it's normal to feel angry, sad, as well as other complicated emotions. You can recover from cheating with the help of an online therapist. Continue reading to learn valuable coping skills and discover resources to move forward from pain.
You may be asking yourself, "Why did my boyfriend cheat on me?" You're angry, hurt, and feel betrayed. This person was supposed to love you and honor your commitments. They've broken your trust and made you question everything about your relationship. When you find out that your partner cheated, many questions come into play. And you're allowed to feel all of your feelings. There is no wrong way to feel in this situation.
You may be in a state of shock. That's understandable, and if you can't seem to grasp what he did, you don't have to push yourself to feel differently than you feel right now. Your emotions are probably all over the place. One thing you can do is talk to your friends. Confide with a close friend or loved one and tell them how you're feeling. You're allowed to be angry, sad, frustrated, or confused. Maybe you believed that your relationship was perfect, and this infidelity comes as a complete surprise to you. Perhaps you suspected something was wrong, but couldn't put your finger on it. Whatever the case may be, you know the truth, and now it's time to handle your emotions.
How can you cope? While friends and loved ones have great insight, another way you can handle your complex emotions is through therapy. Whether you see an individual therapist or go to couples counseling or both, therapy can help you process your feelings about cheating. You can get through this time with the support of a mental health professional who cares. Online counseling is an excellent place to start working through these feelings and talking about how the affair impacted your life. If you're in couples counseling, the therapist can help you communicate your emotions to your boyfriend in a way that he can hear them. Therapy will help you confront your pain, get support, and move forward.
Relationships are an integral part of our lives. We all want to be loved, and when you've found a partner who you adore, you want to keep that connection healthy. The counselors at BetterHelp can support you as you navigate issues that come up in your romantic relationship. They've worked with many people in your shoes and helped them heal from the wounds of infidelity. Maybe you're considering leaving your boyfriend, but you're unsure. Perhaps you want to hash out your problems because you love him and want to stay together. It's okay not to know, and you will figure it out in online counseling.
The counselors at BetterHelp want you to find real, lasting love. Maybe you and your boyfriend have a chance to make this relationship work, but you don't know until you healthily process everything. You might be working on your problems in individual therapy, or you may be talking about cheating with your boyfriend and a couples counselor. These are both great options. You deserve to have someone who cares about you and can be honest about your feelings. Your online therapist at BetterHelp will support you in navigating through the emotions you're feeling, and you will make the right decision as to how to handle your boyfriend's indiscretion. Read below for some reviews of BetterHelp counselors.
"She's been an incredible help with everything I've brought to her attention, I would strongly recommend her to friends and family also seeking help/guidance."
"Alex helped me so much, I will always be enormously grateful. Not only she is outstanding at her job and very professional, but she also happened to be for me this warm light in a sort of mist which, even though you don't know how far you'll have to walk, you'll get there eventually."
Maybe you had suspicions of his unfaithfulness, or perhaps you were completely blindsided by it. It could be that he confessed to you first, or maybe your friends saw him out one night. No matter how it happened, you felt devastated after he cheated on you. It was like a punch in the gut. More than likely, you got angry, sad, or determined, or all of these emotions occurred at once. When you find out that your trust has been shattered there is no wrong way to feel. You might feel angry, sad, or shocked. These are all understandable emotions given the circumstances.
But what do you do next? It's tempting to try to "move on" after he begs for forgiveness, but that's easier said than done. Recovering from infidelity in a relationship takes a lot of hard work - and usually, needs the support of a professional counselor to walk both you and your partner through the ruins of your relationship and to help you rebuild it.
If you're struggling to get over an incident of cheating in your life, here are some things to think through that may help you effectively process the occurrence and move on. Writing your answers out can be extremely helpful for processing your feelings.
If you have suffered through infidelity, you could greatly benefit from counseling. Whether you're trying to salvage your relationship, or you need to recover after your relationship ended, an unresolved incident of cheating can have severe consequences for the health of your relationships even if you leave your unfaithful partner. BetterHelp.com has experienced, licensed counselors available that can help you rebuild your capacity to trust an intimate partner. Their services are affordable and offered in a convenient online format. You deserve to be happy, and your happiness shouldn't have to suffer based on someone else's poor decisions. Seek help and start to put your life back together. If you prefer traditional, face-to-face therapy, this is also a great resource for coping with, processing, and moving forward in life.
The fact that your boyfriend cheated on you represents a loss of your life. Whether the relationship can be repaired or not, you have lost the connection you once had. You may go through periods of intense sadness, anger, and guilt. You may be obsessed with understanding why this happened to you. You might convince yourself to give your boyfriend another chance on certain conditions. It's common to go through all the stages of grief.
It can be a very emotional time in your life. However, you might feel numb and wonder what's wrong with you if you don't cry. Either way, it's essential to identify your feelings and come to terms with them. If you're speaking to a therapist about these feelings, you have the opportunity to express them to someone who won't judge you. This counselor can guide you in rethinking your situation now that you have the new information that your boyfriend has cheated. With unique thought patterns in place, the feelings can become more manageable.
After you've lost trust in your boyfriend, your grief can turn into depression. Perhaps you're constantly thinking and aren't taking care of yourself as you once did. Maybe you're spending a lot of time alone. Your identity might have been so wrapped up in the relationship that you no longer know who you are or what purpose there is in your life. If you get stuck in thoughts that your life as you knew it is over, depression can eventually follow. Look out for these signs:
Anxiety can rear its head, especially if you've been in a relationship for a long time. You may feel anxiety intensely if your housing situation has changed, or you were dependent on their income to make ends meet. You might feel anxiety for no other reason than that you're in the new and uncomfortable territory on a path you did not choose. A therapist can teach you techniques for dealing with anxiety.
Your boyfriend has dealt a blow to your sense of self-worth. You may wonder if you're loveable at all. If his actions made you feel like you're not attractive enough, smart enough, or not good enough, you can benefit from spending some time building your self-esteem.
An online counselor can help you evaluate your thoughts and understand how your boyfriend's infidelity compromised your sense of self-worth. They may suggest that you think of your positive qualities. They might give you homework to do things that bring out the best in you and increase your self-esteem. Having good self-esteem can affect everything from your career to your family relationships. Improving it is an excellent way to move on with a more satisfying life or to stay with a new sense of independence.
Anger is a natural reaction to being cheated on by your partner. You can be the most loving, caring, attractive, and exciting person in the world, but if your boyfriend has issues of his own, he may still cheat. Allow yourself to feel your anger without telling yourself that it's wrong. Feelings of anger don't always show up right away. You may feel hurt, rejected, or sad at first. You may never permit yourself to feel your anger if you learned to fear or avoid that emotion as a child. The best thing you can do if you have unresolved feelings of anger is to get into therapy. It isn't helpful to deny, but your counselor can help you find appropriate ways to deal with it and move on.
What so often happens when we end a relationship with someone who's cheated on us is that we quickly fall into a similar relationship. Learning what contributed to the infidelity and other problems in your relationship can help you avoid having a series of boyfriends who do the same to you. That means dealing with the issues that cause you to be attracted to these kinds of people. It also means knowing the red flags to look for when you get involved with someone new, this incident was painful enough, and you probably don't want something like this to happen to you again. A counselor can help you explore your background and issues so that you become better at choosing partners.
If your boyfriend cheated on you, something in the relationship was broken. You may decide to stay with your boyfriend and forge a new relationship. That road can be a difficult one. Both people have to participate in the healing and rebuilding process of the relationship. A therapist can help you with this process fairly and reasonably. If you don't deal with the infidelity in a way that works for both of you, the problem is bound to resurface, whether in another episode of cheating or the gradual disintegration of your relationship.
Should you stay, or should you go? You need to make a new plan. You need a game plan for yourself that honors your rights and who you are as an individual. The relationship will never be the same. However, if you both do the work to heal the broken bond, it could survive and maybe even get better. You may find that you aren't willing to continue it. You may instead want to spend your time and effort building a new life on your own. Working with an online counselor can help you build confidence in yourself, point you in the direction of what you want in a romantic relationship, and help you achieve that goal. You can have the life you want, but to do so, you have to deal with your issues and learn how to love yourself more.