Recognizing Emotional Nuance: Having Feelings For Someone
Using the Love Languages to Your Advantage
Love languages are a way of outlining the ways in which we express and experience love. This isn't something that comes with an instruction manual, or even something someone can off-the-bat identify or put into words. To identify a person's so-called love language, you have to kind of read between the lines. Keep an eye out for how they express love to others, noting other things like what they tend to complain about or what things tend to most brighten their day. Most people generally give love in the way that they prefer to receive it, except perhaps those that are particularly in tuned with the love languages of others.
Having Feelings for Someone
We all have different ways in which we best love and are loved. For most of us, it's a unique combination of various forms of affection. Spending time and enjoying each other's company is one of the common ways how people show their love to those in their life. Physical touch can involve the obvious like hugging, cuddling, being intimate, and delve into other areas such as casual touch or public displays of affection.
Some people really like or dislike public displays of affection. It's important to note as well that some people may prefer manifestations of a certain love language, like they may like to be touched, but not when it's done in public or when others can see.
Giving and receiving gifts is another way in which humans show their love. These things don't have to be large- just a token showing that you were thinking about them. Even primates exhibit gift giving behavior in the form of food or tools. We all like to get presents from time to time, but there are individuals that find energy and validation when someone spends money or time on a gift, often it truly is the thought that counts.
Speaking Their Language
Acts of service encompass small actions like cleaning, cooking, driving, which are meant to serve as an affirmation of the other person's love without directly saying so. Words of affirmation are also important, these verbal cues that express their affection and love can come in the form of compliments or reassurances, or also in the form of teasing and picking on.
When you want to let someone know that you care about them, ask questions about what they find important, push their ideas a step further. Try to ask them about things that they are passionate about. Delving into the why and how more than what and when can help them feel more comfortable to open up and expand their vision with you, rather than being self-conscious about producing on a schedule. Totally engage, much of our communication is non-verbal, how we hold ourselves puts a lot of telling information into the social sphere.
Picking up the Vibe
Oftentimes, the things that most attract us to another person are hard to pinpoint. We are drawn to their passion, to their confidence, to their personality. The same thing can be said for certain friendships, coffee shops, outfits, and color schemes. The feelings that the thing elicits are hard to put a finger on. Attraction is a complicated construct, with minute hints towards our underlying motivation strewn in our behavior and body language.
Many professionals are trained to recognize and tweak these behavior patterns, and are capable of giving you insights into your social interactions with others. BetterHelp is an online interface working to connect licensed mental health professionals with those in need of their care. Resources like these reduce many barriers to quality care such as cost or location, allowing for remote access online.