Romantic Words To Win Over Your Partner

Updated March 1, 2023by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Those who seek out romantic relationships often thoroughly enjoy hearing their partner say romantic words to them, from a simple “I love you” to poetry or promises. But what exactly are romantic words, and how can you find the right ones to win your partner over? 

Romance is a catch-all term we use to describe the process of falling in romantic love and maintaining a romantic relationship, so your romantic words are going to depend on your and your partner’s preferences and unique relationship. Here is some advice for understanding and finding romantic words for your partner.

Need Some Help Finding Your Romantic Words?

What Makes Words Romantic?

Romantic love is largely defined in modern psychology by the triangular love theory proposed by Dr. Robert Sternberg. This theory posits that there are three elements that make up feelings of love.

  • Intimacy, or a deep feeling of closeness and connection to another person

  • Passion, or a powerful attraction to another person (which can include but is not limited to sexual attraction)

  • Commitment, a conscious decision to stay devoted to another person in some way

Romantic love is said to be the love in which you feel both intimacy and passion for another person, which may develop into Consummate love, which adds a layer of commitment to Romantic love. 

So, for words to be romantic, they should inspire feelings of intimacy and passion, and/or show a level of commitment. This might include something as simple as saying, “I love you” or “you are important to me.” 

How To Find Romantic Words

Whether or not something you say is romantic may depend on a few factors, including the way your partner best receives love and the situation in which you use those words. 

One popular theory of romance is that of the five love languages. Though some argue this system is not inclusive of all ways to show or receive love and is outdated, others use this framework, established by pastor Gary Chapman, to help build connection and understanding between people in all kinds of relationships. The five love languages are

  • Words of affirmation

  • Acts of service

  • Gifts

  • Quality time

  • Physical touch

By aiming to meet your partner’s love language with your words, you can make them more obviously romantic, which might improve how your partner responds to them and help them see this as an expression of your love. 

  • If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, you may simply tell them “I love you” frequently, or make up your own love words for her.  You might also verbalize when they do something you like or something you feel they should be proud of.

  • If your partner’s love language is acts of service, you might ask them to do small tasks for you, or tell them that you’ve done small tasks for them. This can make them feel needed and appreciated.

  • If your partner’s love language are gifts, consider writing them a poem, story, or short letter to express your love to them. If you’re not the creative type, you may want to try getting them a card with kind words on it.

  • If your partner’s love language is quality time, you might try having in-depth conversations with them about subjects you, they, or both of you are passionate about. This allows you to spend time together and can let them know you pay attention when they talk about their interests. 

  • If your partner’s love language is physical touch, consider asking them for a hug or a kiss, or asking if you can give one to them. You could also try asking how they like to be touched and explaining your own preferences. 

Find Confidence In Romance With Therapy

If you’re still unsure how to find romantic words for your partner, you may consider therapy or counseling. A mental health professional can help you find the confidence you need to be romantic, or to understand how you best show and receive love, and how your partner may best show and receive love. 

Modern therapy can happen anywhere on your schedule with the help of services like BetterHelp. BetterHelp offers affordable, convenient online therapy with a specifically-matched licensed therapist who can meet you where you are and offer helpful insights and guidance on romance and other concerns.

Additionally, online therapy has been shown to be just as effective as in-person therapy for a wide range of conditions. It’s also been shown to make therapy more accessible to those who may not otherwise be able to seek treatment.

The Takeaway

Romance means different things to different people, but at the end of the day, being romantic simply means making your partner feel loved and appreciated in your relationship. There are lots of ways to show your partner that you love them; try a few and see what works for you and your loved one.

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