Romantic Words To Win Over Your Partner

Medically reviewed by April Justice, LICSW
Updated May 6, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Romance is generally a catch-all term we use to describe the process of falling in romantic love and maintaining a romantic relationship, so your romantic words normally depend on your and your partner’s preferences and unique relationship. Often, determining your partner’s love language and catering your romantic words to that language can help you convey your love and win over your partner. If you are having trouble getting your romantic side, a licensed therapist may help you work through any underlying issues. You can attend therapy sessions online or in person.

iStock/PeopleImages
Need help with your romantic side?

What makes words romantic?

Romantic love is largely defined in modern psychology by the triangular love theory proposed by Dr. Robert Sternberg. This theory posits that there are three elements that make up feelings of love:

  • Intimacy, or a deep feeling of closeness and connection to another person
  • Passion, or a powerful attraction to another person (which can include but is not limited to sexual attraction)
  • Commitment, or a conscious decision to stay devoted to another person in some way

Romantic love is said to be the love in which you feel both intimacy and passion for another person. This type of love may develop into consummate love, which normally adds a layer of commitment to romantic love. 

For words to be romantic, they should typically inspire feelings of intimacy and passion, as well as show a level of commitment. This could include something as simple as saying, “I love you,” or “you are important to me”.

Using love languages to put together romantic words

Whether or not something you say is romantic may depend on a few factors, including the way your partner best receives love and the situation in which you use those words. 

One popular theory of romance is that of the five love languages. Though some argue this system is not inclusive of all ways to show or receive love and could be outdated, others use this framework, established by pastor Gary Chapman, to build connection and understanding between people in all kinds of relationships. The five love languages generally include the following:

  • Words of affirmation
  • Acts of service
  • Receiving gifts
  • Quality time
  • Physical touch

By aiming to meet your partner’s love language with your words, you can make them more obviously romantic, which may improve how your partner responds to them and help them see this as an expression of your love. 

If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, you may simply tell them, “I love you” frequently, or make up your own love words for her. You could also verbalize when they do something you like or appreciate or something you feel they should be proud of.

If your partner’s love language is acts of service, you might look for opportunities to take responsibilities off their plate. This could involve doing dishes, picking the kids up from sports practice, or making a call they’ve been putting off. This can show your partner how much you care; for them, the words, “The dishes are already washed and put away,” may be the most romantic thing they’ve ever heard.

If your partner’s love language is receiving gifts, consider writing them a poem, story, or short letter to express your love to them. Alternatively, you could simply grab their favorite snack the next time you’re at the store or purchase inexpensive trinkets that remind you of your partner to show them you’re thinking of them. A nice card with romantic words can also make a lovely gift.

If your partner’s love language is quality time, you might try having in-depth conversations with them and setting aside time in which you can give them your full attention. 

If your partner’s love language is physical touch, consider asking them for a hug or a kiss, or asking if you can give one to them. Massages can be another excellent way to express love through physical touch. You could also try asking how your partner likes to be touched and discussing your own preferences. 

Getty/AnnaStills

Find confidence in romance with therapy

If you’re still unsure of how to find romantic words for your partner, you may consider therapy or counseling. A mental health professional can help you find the confidence you need to be romantic or to understand how you can best show and receive love, and how your partner may best show and receive love. 

Modern therapy can happen anywhere, on your schedule, with the help of services like online therapy platforms. It can be easy to get affordable, convenient online therapy with a licensed therapist who can meet you where you are and offer helpful insights and guidance on romance and other concerns.

Additionally, online therapy has been shown to be just as effective as in-person therapy for a wide range of conditions. It can also make therapy more effective to those who may not otherwise be able to seek treatment.

Getty/PeopleImages
Need help with your romantic side?

Takeaway

Romance often means different things to different people, but at the end of the day, being romantic typically means making your partner feel loved and appreciated in your relationship. Often, the best way to do so is to choose your romantic words according to your partner’s love language. If this is a challenge for you, working with a therapist can be helpful. You can work with a licensed mental health professional in your local area or through an online therapy platform.
Build healthy relationship habits with a professional
The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.
Get the support you need from one of our therapistsGet started