Love Words To Win Anyone Over

Medically reviewed by Melissa Guarnaccia, LCSW
Updated February 21, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Many of us have heard cheesy pickup lines before, and they’re certainly showing staying power in the age of Tinder. However, if you want to find the right love words to win over that special someone here, you will likely want to avoid using these kinds of lines, even if they bring temporary joy or make a person feel happy in the moment.

While pickup lines might be funny they are not generally what people who are being courted want to hear, and they are unlikely help you find true love. They lack romance and can generally seem immature. Plus, they often pale in comparison to other factors, such as attractiveness or intelligence. 

However, there are certain words in the world of love that are much more likely to win over others. The challenge then becomes finding the right thing the right love words for her or for him. Read on to learn more about how you can use language and different words for love to win over someone’s heart.

Remember that everyone responds to different love words

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When you’re trying to win someone over, it’s important to note that what works for one person might not work on another. That means that when you take advice from someone else, including from this article, you may want to think about how it will work specifically for the person you are thinking of impressing. For example, comparing your love to the beauty of the night sky may work for one person, while writing sweet words or love messages in a note may work for another, it just depends.

Be genuine

People generally appreciate when you’re genuine in what you say. It may be better to say fewer things in your own ways that are authentic than to say many things that are not. As you prepare to approach your person of interest, consider doing your best to put how you honestly feel into words. You don’t have to feel pressure to be over the top or “corny” to make it more comfortable for your special someone, for example, it might not be the best idea to tell someone, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” if you just met. Just being honest can make an impact and facilitate a deeper overall connection.

Give them compliments

Most people love compliments. After all — it can be nice to hear someone say something nice about what they like and appreciate about you, or what they think you do well. Compliments show that you have noticed a person’s beauty, intelligence, or kindness. If you want to find the right words to win this person over, consider talking to them about themselves. Build them up. Shower them with compliments and appreciation, tell them they have a beautiful smile, send them sweet messages and compliments throughout the day, and let the know that they are your better half. There’s generally no wrong way to give someone a compliment, so long as it is honest and genuine.

Be intentional and consistent

Consider being as consistent as possible with your stream of uplifting comments, starting with your morning coffee and continuing throughout the day. Ongoing support can be a great way to build intmacy with someone, especially if you’re interested in winning your female of interest over.

Be a good listener

love words for them

A large part of communication and winning someone over is just the way you listen, rather what you say when talking. While you might be working hard to come up with the right words for this person that will show them how you feel, you may end up forgetting to actively listen when they are speaking.

The more you listen to someone, the more you can learn about them and what they like and don’t like, as well as what they need, listening can give a key insight into the soul of a person. This may help you to determine the right things to do and say to win their affection.

If you’re not sure where to start, consider asking questions to learn more about their history, preferences and experiences. You can ask follow-up questions, offer insightful comments and maintain conversational eye contact to show the person that you are actively and carefully listening to what they have to say.

Be vocal with others

If you’re trying to win someone over or uplift them, consider telling key people in your life such as your best friend or a family member. They may be able to provide you with support and insight as you go about trying to win the person over, and they can also speak with the other person as well.

However, we do want to note that it may be best to wait before doing this. Doing it before you know the person very well could be perceived to be “too much, too soon.” Many believe that this step is better saved for people who are close to entering a deeper or more romantic relationship, when it may be better received by both sides of the family.

If in doubt, consider going with your first instinct and what you know about your person of interest to determine whether this is a good approach. You could also ask them ahead of time if they like it when love interests are very open with others about their thoughts and feelings about them. Some people may be more reserved or may respond better to other approaches.

Use someone else’s words

You may have found the perfect woman, man, or person but you do not know how to tell them what you feel. If you are really struggling to find the right words to say, you might consider using the words of someone else — such as a famous author or a poet.

People generally appreciate hearing nice quotes or poems from other people as long as you don’t try and pass them off as your own. They can perfectly encapsulate what you might be feeling at that time, and can be quite a romantic gesture to some people.

Notice the small things

When you're working to put together the right compliment or thing to say for your person of interest, it’s important to notice (and mention) the “little” things. After all — when a person knows that you notice the little things, it can communicate how much they really mean to you and focus on you. Not everyone may notice the way they twirl their fingers in their hair when they’re thinking, for example, but when you notice it and mention how much you like it, it is likely to stand out as a form of intimate acknowledgement.

Offer words of encouragement

Affirming and uplifting words are not just about complimenting them on their physical appearance or behavior. You can also win them over by giving words of encouragement, which may bring them hope and happiness. Many people want to be with someone who believes in them and their abilities and who is there to support them in difficult moments. Consider offering optimistic encouragement about the things that they’re working on and praise any progress you see. You might also try to participate to the extent at which they’ll let you, serving as a fellow enthusiast for their chosen art, skill, or passion.

The main goal here for many is to let them know that you care about the dreams that they have for their life. In doing this, you will usually position yourself as a helpful and encouraging figure in their lives, showing them that you value them as a person.

Surprise them with notes

Speaking love words is generally something that people will appreciate, but don’t forget to write them down, as well. While love letters may seem like a thing of the past because of modern technology, there is still something special about taking the time to write down how you feel for a person. It shows that you invested time and were thinking of them when they weren’t there.

You can do this as one longer letter, or by breaking it down into smaller notes. Look for creative ways to tell them too. You could send a letter in the mail or leave sticky notes all around the house.

It truly is the simple things

If you have been stuck on trying to come up with the perfect thing to say, you might be running into feelings of overwhelm or inadequacy.

Often, it doesn’t have to be overly complex to make a difference. Instead of falling into a trap of analysis paralysis, consider focusing on telling them the small things you appreciate about them. This is the step that comes naturally after the step of noticing the small things, which we’ve listed above.

For example: You might consider telling them that you love the way it feels when their head is on your shoulder, or their hand is in yours. You can choose to let them know that you miss them when they’re not there, or that seeing them makes a bad day so much better this let’s them know that they are valued and that you do not want to think about life without them.

Remember it’s not just about the words

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You may be focused on love words, but it can be important to think about your actions as well. If you want to win over your potential romantic partner, it might not be about the words that you’re saying. It might be more about what you’re communicating by your actions.

For example: You could have the perfect words to say, but if you aren’t treating this person well, or in a way that aligns with how they feel love, it may not be as impactful. Working to create meaningful experiences and memories through both actions and words is a more comprehensive way to communicate to them how important they are to you, and how much you want to be with them.


When you’re experiencing difficulty finding the “right” words to win your dream partner over, it can feel overwhelming. You may have challenges leaving your home in extreme cases or may not feel that you have the time to pursue professional support in this area of your life. In either case, online therapy can provide a convenient and available means of support, connecting you with a licensed therapist from the comfort of your own home.

Sometimes it can be hard to pinpoint what the issue may be. However, a licensed, experienced therapist like those at BetterHelp can help you work through the underlying cause(s) and may help you to be a better person. Moreover, since the services are offered online, it makes it convenient to make efficient progress, even from the comfort of your own home (or wherever you have an internet connection!).

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