Self Esteem

Clinically Reviewed By: Corey Pitts, LCMHC, LPC, LCAS, CCS

What is self-esteem, and why does it matter?

Self-esteem is the overall opinion one holds of oneself, a reflection of personal value that may fluctuate during the ups and downs of life. Self-esteem is considered important because this self-regard may affect anything from decision-making to personal relationships and overall well-being.

High self-esteem means having mostly positive views of oneself. This may provide confidence and motivate a person to strive for growth, though it might also lead to feelings of fragility at times. On the other hand, people with low self-esteem tend to see themselves as low in worth and value, which may contribute to long-term negative thoughts. Healthy self-esteem is generally described as a balanced, secure, and realistic view of oneself.

Signs of low self-esteem

Low self-esteem may take a toll on individual mental health and lead to feelings of anxiety and depression. Some common signs include:

• Persistent self-doubt
• Negative self-talk or negative thoughts about one's abilities
• Difficulty accepting compliments or positive feedback
• Avoiding new opportunities out of fear of failure
• Accepting poor treatment from others

Over time, low self-esteem may cause people to withdraw socially or have unhealthy relationships. People may also stop trying to achieve or try new things for fear of failing. 

Signs of healthy self-esteem

People with strong self-esteem generally show these characteristics:

• Ability to set and maintain boundaries
• Willingness to take reasonable risks
• Balanced self-view that acknowledges both strengths and limitations
• Resilience when facing setbacks

People with a good sense of self-esteem may be happier and might be less afraid to voice their own opinions or strive to attain personal goals. Even if they fail, they may pick themselves up and try again, not letting the failure damage the way they see themselves or measure their self-worth. 

What can affect self-esteem?

Self-esteem is not a fixed quality and may go up and down depending on where someone is in life and the experiences that they go through. Childhood experiences, personal relationships, and life events are three of the most influential factors affecting someone's self-esteem.

Early life experiences

During childhood, the personality develops and is influenced by the people closest to the individual in the environment. Children with supportive parents who demonstrate positive reinforcement, communicate their love and care, and provide a stable home often grow up to have healthy self-esteem and a strong sense of self. Those who experience neglect, instability, or criticism from their parents may experience low self-esteem and feelings of guilt later on in life. 

Ongoing influences

Low self-esteem doesn’t just happen all at once but usually manifests as a result of ongoing influences. Experiences such as bullying, comparing to others, or depictions in media may influence the way that people see themselves over time. 

People with low self-esteem often look to others for validation. While validation from others is not necessarily bad, it may become problematic if individuals give too much power over self-esteem to someone else.

Low self-esteem may show up differently depending on the context or environment. At work, it might manifest as imposter syndrome, while in social relationships, it may be a fear of being compared to others or judged. The different ways it presents may affect how someone acts or behaves in certain situations. 

How can an individual work to boost self-esteem?

Raising self-esteem takes more than a quick fix but is instead a decision to commit to an ongoing, individual journey. Rather than trying to change everything at once, a more effective approach to building self-esteem may be to make small, consistent steps over time that lead to gradual adjustment and growth.

Practical strategies that may help

Those looking to boost their self-esteem, may find it helpful to start by identifying negative thoughts and feelings, and then challenge them. This process may offer a new perspective and a clearer way of seeing oneself. Keeping a journal to track these negative thoughts, and explore ways to reshape them, is one approach some people find useful.

Other actions that may help include:

• Setting small, achievable goals to build confidence over time
• Practicing self-compassion and recognizing personal strengths
• Spending time with supportive people who reinforce a healthy sense of self-worth
• Gradually stepping outside one's comfort zone to build evidence of capability

When professional support may be helpful

Sometimes, self-guided strategies are not enough, and that’s okay. A licensed therapist may work with individuals to identify possible underlying causes leading to low self-esteem, such as negative childhood experiences, parental influences, or traumatic events.

By addressing some of the root causes of low self-esteem, therapy may help people build up their self-regard and learn better and healthier ways to relate to themselves. Over time, these changes in thought and behavior may lead to a better sense of self-esteem and self-worth.

How can BetterHelp support people working on self-esteem?

Research suggests that online therapy may be as effective as in-person therapy when it comes to building self-esteem and related concerns. BetterHelp is an online therapy platform that connects people with licensed, accredited professionals. Users may connect with their therapist by phone, video, live chat, or messenger, making it easy to access mental health care from wherever, whenever it's needed.

Connecting with a licensed therapist through BetterHelp may be a helpful first step. Start by taking a short questionnaire to get matched with the right therapist for individual needs.

FAQs

Is low self-esteem a mental health condition?

No. Low self-esteem is not a diagnosable mental health condition on its own, though it may be associated with or contribute to conditions such as anxiety or depression.

Can self-esteem change over time?

Yes. Self-esteem is not fixed and may shift in response to life experiences, relationships, personal growth, and professional support.

Can therapy help with low self-esteem?

Research suggests that working with a licensed therapist may help a person identify the underlying causes of low self-esteem and develop strategies to build a healthier sense of self-regard.

Is online therapy effective for self-esteem concerns?

Research suggests that online therapy may be effective in addressing self-esteem concerns, with some studies noting improvements in self-esteem and reductions in feelings of loneliness.

Does BetterHelp offer support for low self-esteem?

BetterHelp connects individuals with licensed therapists who may provide support for low self-esteem and related mental health concerns through flexible, online sessions.