How To Stop Feeling Inadequate
Although it may be difficult to achieve when you feel inadequate, self-confidence can often be built with time. There are several causes of feelings of inadequacy, and many people feel inadequate from time to time. However, if you’re experiencing frequent feelings of worthlessness, many types of therapy are available to help you feel good about yourself. Understanding how you can build self-confidence one day at a time may assist you in getting started.
What is inadequacy?
According to the American Psychological Association, feelings of inadequacy are a type of inferiority complex. People with this mental attitude can feel they do not measure up to others. These feelings can cause a person to withdraw from others or feel jealous, depending on their personality and the situation.
Feelings of inadequacy can manifest in various ways, including:
- Self-criticism
- Perfectionism
- Frequent feelings of envy or jealousy
- Adjustment of one’s persona to fit in with others
- Self-sabotage
- Fear of rejection
- Secrets
Feelings of inadequacy can also show up as hostility. For example, one study found that bosses who feel inadequate about their job performance are likelier to bully their subordinates.
Reasons people feel inadequate
A tendency to feel inadequate might be present from early childhood. If you don’t feel equal to others, these feelings may have developed from messages you received from caregivers or being bullied in your younger years.
It is also possible for a mental health condition or traumatic event to cause distorted self-thoughts. Below are a few contributing factors to feelings of inadequacy and how to tackle thoughts and habits that can cause distorted self-image.
Low self-esteem
Low self-esteem can sometimes stem from mood disorders, such as depression and anxiety, which may warp your thoughts or cause you to feel as though you are worthless. If a mood disorder is a cause of feeling inadequate, psychotherapy may resolve the problem. However, a person may also feel inferior because of experiences from early life, stress, or social comparison.
Some common causes of low self-esteem and low confidence include the following:
- A childhood where caregivers were highly critical of performance
- Bullying from peers, work colleagues, teachers, or bosses
- Poor performance in areas you are passionate about
- A series of stressful events
- An unhealthy relationship
- Chronic pain, disability, cancer, or another medical concern
Avoidant personality disorder (APD)
Some people with low self-esteem live with avoidant personality disorder. This condition can accompany an extreme fear of rejection and judgment by others, leading to avoidance of social situations to cope with feelings of inferiority. People with avoidant personality disorder often benefit from psychotherapy and social skills training.
Entering the workforce
Young adults might also experience feelings of inadequacy when entering the job market, accepting a promotion at work, or being a minority in a school or work situation. This type of insecurity is called imposter syndrome. Paradoxically, it can be incited by positive and negative experiences that can make you feel like you’re not good enough. In imposter syndrome, the person feels they are playing the role of someone with more skills or status than they actually have.
How to overcome feelings of inadequacy
Understanding where your insecurity is coming from and how you’re feeling can make it easier to figure out how to feel confident. Below are nine steps you can take to increase self-confidence in your life and avoid unrealistic expectations for yourself.
Use positive self-talk and challenge negative beliefs
How you speak about yourself can significantly affect how you feel about yourself. For example, if you constantly tell yourself you are useless, unworthy, or ugly, you may be prone to believe it. Changing your self-perception can begin with changing self-talk and challenging negative beliefs.
Display positive reminders
The objects and environment around you might influence your self-perception. For example, if you constantly consume media reinforcing the idea that you are not enough, you may internalize and believe these feelings. Instead of continuing this habit, you can surround yourself with positive reminders of your strengths and determination. Consider listening to a playlist of upbeat and empowering songs, posting motivational quotes in your home, or creating artwork.
Spend time with confident, supportive people
You may notice that you mirror the people around you. If you spend time around people who treat you poorly, it can reinforce feelings of inadequacy. Instead, try to build relationships with people who feel confident about themselves, treat you well, and encourage you. Positive relationships can be crucial for building self-esteem.
Avoid comparison with others
You may compare yourself to others and feel inadequate if you notice differences. To increase self-compassion, try to find your positive qualities and avoid comparison with others. Excessive use of social media can contribute to feeling inadequate, and taking a break from these websites might be helpful.
Control your emotions
A feeling of inadequacy may arise from facing difficult circumstances causing powerful emotions. Controlling your emotions may help you respond productively to difficult situations, boosting self-esteem and confidence. One way to control your emotions is through mindfulness, which may be achieved with meditation or yoga.
Engage in activities you enjoy
You might feel happier and more confident when focusing on activities you enjoy. Enjoyable activities can boost your mood, and self-confidence may follow.
Set achievable goals
You may not offer high-quality work when trying to take on too many tasks. Try to take tasks one at a time and break them up into achievable goals. When you can give your best, you may feel more confident in your overall abilities.
Make positive lifestyle changes
Exercise, diet, getting enough sleep, and other lifestyle choices can contribute to improved mental and physical health and greater self-confidence and self-esteem. Studies show that even getting enough sleep can improve your health and well-being substantially. Adults generally require seven to eight hours of sleep a night.
Engage your natural talents
Partaking in talents you know you have may allow you further confidence in your abilities. Try adding more of what you excel at, even if others don’t understand your hobby.
Connect with support systems
Some people may benefit from assistance when improving self-compassion and self-confidence. An in-person or online therapist can help you better understand where your insecurities may be coming from, help you heal from adverse events, and provide you with the coping mechanisms and support to move forward.
If you’re curious about the effectiveness of online therapy, a study has shown that online therapy can feel more personal than traditional therapy. 96% of participants reported feeling an emotional connection with their online therapists as opposed to 91% of those who saw face-to-face therapists. People who engaged in online therapy sessions also felt more invested in completing homework their therapist assigned.
Online counseling platforms like BetterHelp can connect you with licensed, professional therapists and counselors you can talk to about feelings of inadequacy. Therapists can provide you with emotional support and a safe space to explore why you feel inadequate. If you have a hectic schedule that complicates traveling to an office for an appointment, an online therapy platform can be a convenient way to receive support. To get started, sign up with a smart device and ensure you have an internet connection.
Takeaway
What does it mean when you feel inadequate?
Inadequacy can be complex, and the feeling may differ from person to person. Generally, when someone feels inadequate, they aren’t meeting the standards they set for themselves or the standards they believe others have set for them. When inadequacy becomes severe, it may develop into an inadequacy complex, also called an inferiority complex. The American Psychological Association defines an inferiority complex as “a basic feeling of inadequacy and insecurity, deriving from actual or imagined physical or psychological deficiencies.” The behavior of someone with an inferiority complex may vary; they may be extremely timid or act aggressively depending on how they believe they are perceived.
What causes someone to feel inadequate?
A feeling of inadequacy can stem from many sources. For some, unrealistic expectations of their abilities are to blame, others may constantly feel they are falling short of their goals, even if the opposite is true. Negative emotions and a lack of self-kindness can also fuel inadequacy. For instance, evidence suggests that negative self-affirmations can significantly lower self-esteem and confidence, making it harder for someone to believe in their own abilities.
How do I get over feeling inadequate?
Several strategies can address inadequacy, but one of the most powerful is likely building self-esteem. Self-esteem refers to how much positivity is contained in a person’s self-concept. If they have a very positive view of themselves, their self-esteem is high; if they have a negative view, their self-esteem is low. Low self-esteem is commonly associated with feelings of inadequacy, and improving self-esteem may make inadequacy easier to manage. A few common ways to raise self-esteem are below:
- Practice self-compassion. It is important to remember that you, as a person, are valuable no matter how well you perform a task. If you’re feeling inadequate, consider reminding yourself of your strengths. Speak to yourself positively, and try to avoid putting yourself down with all-or-nothing phrases like “I’m not smart enough,” “I will never do better,” or “Everyone else is better than me.”
- Embrace the power of yet. Carol Dweck, a psychologist who studied mindset theory, popularized the “power of yet,” which refers to the development of a growth mindset. In essence, a person with a growth mindset believes that failure and setbacks are necessary for achieving success. In contrast, someone with a fixed mindset believes failure is innate and insurmountable. The power of yet embodies a growth mindset philosophy by quickly switching statements associated with a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. For example, instead of “I’m not good enough,” a person tells themselves, “I’m not good enough, yet.”
- Build your skills. People who feel inadequate often don’t realize how much practice and effort it can take to build specific skill competencies. Dedicating time to skill development, with the understanding that mastery comes with time, can help improve self-esteem and foster a mindset conducive to growth.
What is an example of feeling inadequate?
Imagine a person with a fixed mindset. This person does not see failure as necessary for growth and tends to see criticism or feedback as signals to abandon whatever task they were trying to accomplish rather than trying again until they meet their standards. At work, they tend to avoid taking on tasks that they aren’t 100% certain they can complete or learning new skills. At home, they rarely engage in new hobbies or interests, sticking to simple, straightforward tasks that present little challenge. On average, this person feels alright with who they are, but they don’t feel like they can handle much beyond what they already know. That feeling is inadequacy, and it could lead to low self-esteem, reduced confidence, and reinforcement of a fixed mindset.
Is a feeling of inadequacy related to low self-esteem?
Low self-esteem and inadequacy are related, but low self-esteem is likely only one part of the equation. Other factors that may produce inadequacy include low confidence, a fear of failure, or mental rigidity. Abnormal and social psychology researchers have not yet developed an objective measure of inadequacy, likely due to the complexity of human self-concept and the lack of a scientifically acceptable definition of what constitutes inadequacy.
What does mentally inadequate mean?
The term “mentally inadequate” is not standardized and does not have a consistent definition. It might mean that someone doesn’t have the required knowledge to complete a task or that they lack the mental energy to succeed. It might also be used as a pejorative to describe someone who lacks intelligence. Whether or not the phrase was meant as an insult, it is a distinctly negative term. For many, “mentally inadequate” isn’t a neutral description but rather a statement of a person’s lack of capability.
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