How To Cope With The Death Of A Friend Or Loved One As A Teenager
Losing someone you love can be one of life's most challenging experiences. There's no single right way to cope with grief when a friend dies; everyone experiences it in their own manner and on their own timeline. Loss from a teenager's perspective in particular is unique because it’s an often life-changing event during a period of life that may already feel turbulent. This guide explores different ways to cope with the death of a friend or loved one as a teenager.
Healthy Ways To Cope With Loss
First, it’s important to note that grief—and the emotions that may come along with it—is a normal part of the healing process. It can be hard to accept loss or death as a teen, especially if the death marks the end of a friendship. After experiencing a loss, you might be deeply affected and feel shock, sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety, or other complex and even contradictory emotions. While letting yourself feel them is usually important even if you weren’t best friends when your friend died, it’s typically also a good idea to take good care of yourself in the process.
Some people worry that they may forget their friend if they take steps to take care of their mental health or to feel better. Doing things to help yourself feel better doesn’t mean you’re forgetting or disrespecting the person you lost, even if they were your best friend; instead, it’s a natural and healthy way to cope with the grief you’re feeling. Here are a few strategies you can try if you find yourself in this challenging situation. Keep in mind that every person is different, so what may work for one may not work for another and grief goes beyond the tears at memorial service. For most people, experimenting with how different tactics make you feel can be a good way to deal with greif.
Find A Healthy Outlet
The sudden intensity of emotions during bereavement can be difficult to navigate and it may feel like your world has been turned upside down. In a situation like this, the mechanisms you choose to cope with your feelings can make a big difference in how the grieving process goes for you. Talking with a trusted support person such as a parent, teacher, family, or other friends or loved ones can help the healing begin. Unhealthy choices like turning to substance use or denying or suppressing your emotions can feel helpful in the moment but are usually not constructive ways to work through your grief.
Instead, you might try letting out the feelings you’re experiencing.
Journaling at night before you go to bed, or during the day as feelings ariste may also help you express any emotions that have built up about the situation. Remember that it’s okay to be sad and okay to express that sadness, or whatever other form your feelings may take during this time—and in fact, doing so may help you move forward.
Take Care Of Your Physical Health
While the pain of losing a loved one is usually primarily emotional, taking care of your physical body as well may help you move through the grieving process. For instance, one study found that physical activity “may provide benefit for the physical health and psychological wellbeing of those who have been bereaved, including when the loss has happened at a young age”. An article from Harvard Health Publishing also tells that eating a balanced diet can help fortify the body through the experience of the stress of grief—adding that aiming to consume small portions more frequently can help if eating is difficult because of your emotional state. While taking care of your own physical needs can feel low on the priority list in the wake of a loss, it can help you better manage the grieving process.
Cherish And Preserve Memories
At first, being reminded of your loved one during day-to-day activities can be too painful. Over time, however, the pain may dull and you can focus on fond memories of the good times with this person. You might try honoring the loved one you’ve lost in a way that fits who they were or what your relationship with them was like. You might gather photos and create a photo collage of your favorite times together, which can bring more smiles, or write a letter to them or poem about them to honor their memory. Or, if you had a complicated or unhealthy relationship with this person, it’s okay to not want to reminisce about them. Remember, grieving is an individual process that should be unique to you.
Speak With Someone You Trust
You might feel alone when you experience loss at a young age. You may not have other peers who have experienced the death of a loved one, which can be frustrating and isolating. Sometimes, leaning on friendships or expressing your feelings with someone who has experienced loss before or who is grieving the same loss can be helpful. Or a close friend who hasn’t may also be a source of comfort and extra support. Even if they can’t fully understand what you’re going through and just listen, they may be able to provide a kind word or a hug, make you laugh, or simply sit with you so that you're not alone. If there’s a teacher or counselor you trust and feel comfortable around, they may also be able to provide support and reinforce that your feelings matter. You may also want to seek help from a therapist; more on this below.
How Therapy Can Help With The Grieving Process
Those who are experiencing a loss at any age may benefit from speaking with a trained counselor or therapist. They can help you set your own pace for the grieving process, offer you a safe space in which to process your emotions, and help you identify healthy coping mechanisms. Some therapists may also choose to use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) so that you can learn to recognize and shift unhelpful thought patterns that may be causing you additional distress during this time.
Your parents or school counselor may be able to help you connect with a therapist in your area who you can meet with in person. Or, if you prefer to seek this kind of support from the comfort of home, you can consider virtual therapy. Research suggests that online therapy offers similar benefits to in-person sessions, so it’s a viable option for those who find it more comfortable, convenient, accessible, or affordable. With an online therapy service like TeenCounseling, for instance, you can get matched with a licensed therapist with your parent’s consent, and you can meet with them via phone, video call, and/or online chat to address your concerns.
Takeaway
Common questions are found below:
How do you tolerate death?
After a loved one has died, it may be difficult to come to terms with the feelings that you are experiencing, and could leave you uncomfortable with the thought of dying. Besides that, coping in your daily life may be hard, since their passing may have been sudden or caught you off guard. You may be at a loss regarding what happened, especially if they didn’t have a terminal illness or need palliative care.
While many feelings can accompany grief, you should understand that death is a part of life and is something that we will all experience. This doesn’t make the grieving process any easier, but it can help you understand that passing is normal, even when it is something you don’t want to think about.
If you have trouble coping or feel lost after a person has died, it may be helpful to look into a bereavement support group that you can visit. There will most likely be others in the group that have similar experiences, where they suffered a major loss, and can offer advice.
Why shouldn't you be scared of death?
It is okay to be afraid of dying, but not if it is keeping you from experiencing things in your life. Generally speaking, if you have a fear of dying, you may have a fear of the unknown, which is to be expected. After a passing, you may question your mortality, which can be challenging and cause you to experience depression during the grieving process. However, this may be a natural response after a person has died. Consider getting mental health support if you have a fear of dying or are struggling after a loss.
What will happen after death?
What happens after passing is something that no one knows for sure. However, those in the religious community may help understand more about what is thought to happen to the soul or spirit after families pass away. This may help you make more sense of the situation after a loved one has died.
When someone dies what do you feel?
After a person you care about has died, you could experience several different feelings as part of the grieving process. This includes not only grief, but you may experience anger, sadness, and guilt. You may experience both physical symptoms, such as pain, and emotional symptoms, where you are sad and feel low. Keep in mind that you can utilize support groups to help you get over your grief over a person who died, especially if you feel like you need to talk with someone as a grieving person.
What are the 7 stages of grief after a death?
Some experts feel that there are 7 stages of grief that a person may experience after a major loss or after major life changes, like changing jobs or going through a divorce. Others feel that there are five stages, but the consensus is that there are no set stages of grieving.
Seven stages include a sense of not believing, experiencing pain, anger, feeling depressed, feeling a bit better, figuring out what is next, and regaining optimism for the future. If you know a person who died and you are grieving, chances are you may go through these phases. Having this information could help you plan, so you will know what you can expect as you work through your grief and pain. While you can’t plan for anticipatory grief, it may be helpful for the recovery process to know what you can expect while you are grieving.
How long will grief last?
There is no normal period in which a person will grieve. Some may have issues coping with their grief and pain for many years and others might not. Some individuals may experience what is known as complicated grief, which may not go away on its own and might require professional help. It could lead to physical problems or emotional illness. If you are grieving, do your best to talk with others about how you feel and get support when you need it.
What is the hardest stage of grief?
The hardest grief stage may differ for everyone, depending on the pain they feel and who they have recently lost. However, the initial stage may be the most challenging, since this is the first step after you experience the loss of a person who died. This is when the grief will be fresh, and you will have to think about different ways of coping with the loss and the feelings that you are affected by. You may want to talk with a professional for further advice and support.
Is death considered a trauma?
If a loved one or someone in your close group of friends and family dies suddenly or unexpectedly, this could be considered trauma. This is because it can cause complicated grief, as well as lead to a number of mental health concerns, such as depression and substance abuse. When you feel like you have experienced trauma after the passing of a loved one, you may want to talk with a mental health professional to get the grief counseling you need.
Why is losing a friend so hard?
How long does it take to get over the death of a friend?
How do I stop thinking about a dead friend?
What is the pain of losing a friend?
Which stage of grief is the hardest?
Why does losing a friend hurt more than a breakup?
Why do I feel sick after losing a friend?
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