Is Family Therapy Right For Our Family?

Content Warning: Please be advised that this article mentions substance use, trauma, domestic violence, and other potentially triggering subjects. Read with discretion. 

Deciding whether to attend family therapy can be challenging. Many families may feel that attending sessions is only an option for those experiencing mental illness or families who have exhausted the rest of their options. However, family therapy can be for any family, regardless of diagnostic status, concerns, or relationship with each other. With a family therapist, parents, children, caregivers, and other family relatives can receive guidance from a licensed professional. 

What Is Family Therapy? 

Family therapy is a type of counseling focused on strained relationships between family. Families might attend therapy for various reasons, including the following: 

• A child experiencing mental illness
• Parents going through divorce hoping to support their children's emotional needs
• Parents having conflict impacting their children 
• Sibling rivalry 
• Extended family conflict
• In-law conflict 
• Family planning concerns 
• Infertility concerns 
• Polyamorous polycule therapy 
• A child experiencing bullying or school issues 
• Adoption or foster care support 
• Adult children of parents hoping to discuss conflicts 

Family systems therapy can be tailored to many families and support each individual, as well as the group as a whole. The American Psychological Association (APA) has found that up to 50% of marriages end in divorce, which can be a common topic in family therapy. In addition, divorce is a cause of childhood post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in some children, so addressing it early on can be beneficial. 

Types Of Family Therapy 

Couples and family therapy can have advantages in treating mental illness, and there are many types of family therapists and mental health professionals specializing in relationships. Learning more about these types of therapy can help you understand which type of family therapy might work best for your family. 

Strategic Family Therapy

Strategic family therapy is a structured approach and involves several stages of counseling, including the following: 

• Social stage
• Problem stage
• Interactional stage
• Goal setting stage
• Task setting stage

Often, strategic family therapy is utilized for parents experiencing conflict with younger children. It is a short form of therapy that involves replicating family conversations or conflicts to develop a unique treatment plan. Therapists practicing this type often believe that a child's mental health and behavior are directly influenced by how the family treats them. By changing the adult family relatives' approaches, the therapist may be able to support the child. 

Structural Family Therapy

Structural family therapy was developed by Salvador Minuchin. In this form of therapy, providers focus on the following: 

• The interactions of the group as a whole rather than individuals 
• The "matrix of identity," a term for the unique connections between family relatives
• The family structure connected to social interactions 
• How well the family responds to structure and changes in the dynamic 
• The position of the therapist in supporting the family as they develop, grow, and improve the entity as a whole 

Structural therapy works more on the family structure and how to bring forth a framework that works for everyone.

Systemic Family Therapy

System family therapy considers the development of various family systems. For example, it looks at how two people within a family unit interact and how that impacts the unit as a whole. It can also look at how society and outside influences impact a family. The therapist can guide the family in creating healthier systems by understanding these details. 

Narrative Family Therapy 

Narrative family therapy involves roleplay, story creation, and the development of goals related to a family unit's hopes for the future. By creating stories and acting them out, families can learn to rewrite their narrative to a healthier structure. The therapist can guide them and ask them how they might feel if their goals were reality. 

Transgenerational Family Therapy

Transgenerational family therapy addresses the differences between generations within a family unit and how those differences may cause conflict. The family therapist can look for behavioral challenges in children or how the parents enforce rules. Based on how each group interacts with their generation, miscommunications may arise. The therapist can bridge the gap between parent and child. 

In this type of therapy, generational trauma may also be addressed. This type of trauma involves lessons or behaviors passed down through multiple generations of parents. By addressing these patterns in therapy, parents and caregivers can replace them with healthier patterns to break the cycle for their children. 

Communication-Based Family Therapy

Communication-based family therapy addresses communication patterns between children, parents, and family relatives. The therapist can teach clients skills like active listening, speaking with "I" statements, and practicing empathy. In addition, if there are communication issues due to cultural differences, adoption, fostering, or generational factors, the therapist can address these in their strategies. 

If families constantly argue, leave emotions on the back burner, or invalidate each other, the therapist can help them discover the potential causes behind these communication barriers. As suppressing emotions can harm emotional and physical health, therapists can help clients fully express themselves in a safe environment. 

Bowenian Family Therapy 

Bowenian is one of the family therapy techniques which addresses triangulation and differentiation. Triangulation uses the tactics of diversion. For example, a son ranting to his father about his mother might be an example of triangulation. Differentiation is a strategy that teaches family relatives to react healthily and directly to conflicts by recognizing the unique roles of each family relative. It can include writing to decrease emotional reactivity and techniques for increasing emotional connection. 

Why Find A Family Therapist? 

Families are often the primary support system for individuals. With the importance of family connections, mental health, and physical health may be impacted by unhealthy dynamics. Communicating healthily with family relatives can also help you learn healthy patterns in your other relationships. In addition, it may heal bonds between parent and child in cases where they are broken. 

A few reasons you might benefit from a family therapist can include the following: 

• A child experiencing school performance challenges 
• An unexpected loss of a family relative or family friend 
• Domestic violence
• A significant trauma that impacts everyone in the family, such as relocation, a natural disaster, or the incarceration of someone in the family
• Family adjustments, whether it be a new sibling, a grandparent in the home, or foster children
• Divorce or licensing a new marriage
• Parental conflict
• Child trauma 

If you are facing or witnessing abuse of any kind, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 for support. Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text "START" to 88788. You can also use the online chat. 

If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at (800) 662-4357 to receive support and resources.

How To Find A Family Therapist 

Finding a therapist can be a complex process if you've determined that family therapy could benefit you. When searching, seek a professional with a master's or doctoral degree with clinical experience in family or couples therapy. You can search online, ask for a doctor's referral, or ask family and friends for advice. 

Once you find a family therapist, ask them the following screening questions: 

• What is your approach for treating similar concerns to mine? 
• Do you target conflicts by targeting past or present issues? 
• What role do you play in your sessions? 
• Is this a child-centered type of therapy, or does it focus on the group as a whole? 
• How long do sessions take? 
• What is your cost per session, and how long are those sessions?

By asking these questions, you can screen therapists before making a choice. Family therapy has been proven effective for many concerns, so considering the benefits of family counseling for your family can prove advantageous. 

Counseling Options 

You can find a therapist through various methods, including a referral from your primary care physician or an online search. However, there are alternative options if you are struggling to find services in person. For example, many individuals and couples seek online therapy, which offers an reachable, flexible, and modern way to receive support. 

Although many online platforms do not offer family therapy counseling online, couples and individual therapists are available in the thousands. You can choose a time slot that works best for you through an online platform, including after standard business hours. In addition, online therapy is a cost-effective option for those struggling to afford in-person therapy. 

Studies have found that internet-based interventions are especially effective for those seeking individual support with family conflicts involving long-term stress or mental illness. You can sign up for a platform like BetterHelp for individuals or ReGain for couples to meet with one of over 30,000 therapists licensed to provide relationship and family advice or support.